I need to rant it out.... My husband and my family members is not getting along very well.. my family members is very straightforward type and they tend to hurt my husband feeling. Especially my elder sister and her boyfriend, my husband just can't stand them and my husband have been avoiding them but still sometimes after a family meeting ~ Eg. Maybe my sister like to talk sarcastic towards my husband and say he is fat and she will laugh it off. I know she is kidding but my husband don't feel that way. He feel hurtful and will tend hold back all the feeling only to express it to me. My sister boyfriend will go directly to my husband and compared everything about him. My husband told me he is a the edge already. He feel like talking back to him and let them taste their own words how hurtful it can be. I myself can't stand his sister too. As she tend to indirectly saying alot of thing in front of my husband and she will act like very good which I feel so fake la. But I always trying to be fake back to her. The problem is my husband is staying with my family. And he will have to tolerate alot of stuff. We been quarrel alot of time over family issues. He just ask me what if I am the one staying at his house and have to tolerate. He say he just don't want me to keep siding my own family everytime when he vent his feeling out. And I hate it everytime we quarrel he will shout and want to leave the house. I am in my third trimester now and we still quarrel like that. I am tired. I can't ask my husband to tolerate if it was me in his position I sure cannot handle but I can't ask my family members to change their way of talking. I am so stuck here. Sorry for the long post.

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Firstly, I would think, for your husband to stay with your family is very nice of him. For whatever reasons, be it financial or what, my husband would never agree to stay with my family because he sees it as a pride thing. So, give him some appreciation for it :-) 2nd, how close are you and your sister? Are you the type of sisters where you can tell each other off? Try next time when she "attacks" your hubby again, just tell her to stop it - "it's not funny at all". Or you can try, "So what, I like can liao..." but that might have an adverse effect. I know how it feels to be called fat all the time. I get that from my own mother and it's very frustrating. Luckily my hubby also make it up being extra sweet to me. So in the same way, you are your husband's support. When he's on the edge or feeling lousy, maybe you can go out with him for a coffee or dessert. Take a walk together, let him vent it out. Guys unlike girls, after they vent it out, they feel better. They are not as emo as us. As for your sister boyfriend, sorry, but he sounds like some show-off jerk to me. Maybe because he sees that your sister can talk like that to your hubby, he also can. Tell him off directly too. That's the "privilege" of preggies - we can throw temper or say nasty things and blame it on our hormones LOL. Tell him there's nothing to compare about, everybody is different. Or else, be sarcastic back. (I can be very mean too). But more important thing is, you and hubby stick together. Worse case, just lock yourselves in the room and watch Running Man :-)

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Wrong to quarrel, you and your husband. Husband and Wife should be United at all times, in times of Bliss and Tough times, that's a part of what Marriage is about (Recall your Marriage Vows) Your family members = You need to take charge and defend your husband. If it is your husband's family members = Your husband need to take charge and defend you. If you can't change your family members, plan to shift out immediately Or soonest possible and further away from your family member house, this is to put an end to this nonsense for your husband. Full stop. Your husband has been very nice to exercise restraint and not talk back to your family members in sacarstic manner and he is doing this because he respects you and your family members but your family members are TOO much. Please be mindful that a man's ego and pride cannot be hurt too many times, otherwise one day his temper will explode big time (There is a limit to one's patience, with frustration and repeated sacarsm attacking him building up daily, weekly, monthly, etc....)

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I think straightforward is the best way to go. Just straight forward tell ur family members to shut the F up if they are pushing it caz it's not funny. I am straightforward kind too and I talk sarcastic too and I admit I need to be told to tone back sometimes. Tell ur husband to just express himself yar - this kind of always bottling up is not healthy and will only bottle to quarrel later Best practice is to MOVE OUT. Otherwise now so stress, when baby here, I am pretty sure u guys will be tempted to throw divorce papers Now property market not doing well.try to at least just rent a place and make do until ur own house is ready (I hope u have a house coming). Marriage is a joining of 2 families. If they can't help u guys stick together, they will help tear u guys apart when the going gets tough. Few are able to totally isolate and completely ignore their own family. Work on having good relationship w family members too. But the fastest solution for now is move out

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Sounds very similar to my case. Fat hubby, straightforward family and competition among in laws. My husband is also fat. My mum and sister like to "attack" him for that. I always protect him as being fat is not what he want. He need panadol after talking to my family (I must protect him also because he protect me very well in his family). Pity him.. He become fatter after stress with them. More gas accumulated in stomach. Competition among in laws is very common. My husband feel jealous when I talk good about my sisters husband and sometimes he will compared himself to them. I can see my sis husband comparing themselves to my husband too.. Haih. Men fight. I told my husband let it be healthy competition and don't affect family harmony. So he speak up and fight for himself in a humorous way. I can see the opponents attack him less nowadays. At the same time i'll show some signals to my sis and let her feel my unhappiness

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First if all, wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever you're with, you first haveta PROTECT your marriage. By that you haveta listen, and act accordingly to support and defend your spouse. Bcz he is your other half. If the problem is from your side, (your family), then you haveta stop it bcz you have the bigger say. If the problem is frm his side, then he will hvta stop it bcz his family will of course listen to him more. My only advice if nothing else works then it's best to move out. Buy BTO and then get hse rental frm HDB under PPHS. Rental that way is cheaper. All the best and remember to stay strong for each other. Others don't matter as much as your spouse.

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I think you should stand up for your hub. he's the one you marry and will spend the rest of your life with. it's really bad to mock on people or even joke tht someone is fat. you should tell your sister and her bf off. yes, how would you feel if you were the one living with his family? I stand up for my hub even towards his family members. when they say nasty things, I will say them back. why? because he's the one I marry. he's the one I'm spending the rest of my life with. I have to be considerate of his feelings.. if your hub didn't stand up for you, how would you feel? it's all the same. some things goes two way my dear..

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You should be the one to tell your family members in a polite way that it is not very appropriate to say such things. They are your family members, if yku cant speak up, then you want him to speak up? If he speaks up, then another issue will arise. He is human too. So what if he is fat or whatever, more importantly he loves you and the family or your family want you to have someone superficial. We are adults, i think we should be more sensitive. If this continues, your husband will eventually lash out and if that happens i wont blame him.

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Let me keep this short and sweet. (1) Protect your hubby from nasty sister and show-off boyfriend. You wouldn't let someone else do that, why should "family" do that and get a free pass? (2) Move out as soon as possible. Living together is the cause of so many family quarrels. (3) Rule of thumb: If it concerns his side of the family, let him deal with it. If the issue is coming from your side of the family, you deal with it. More problems if it is the in-law talking back to the family member.

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This is a tough one, both side are family. No I don't recommend you to add fuel to the fire by taking sides. who is the mediator in your family? Usually is the dad or mother, you might want to speak with one of your parents first. If mediator is not available, the only way out is to move out. If you don't have plans start planning now. .. If you have plans, try to push forward with it. All in All, both side are family so don't take side. Provide a listening ear to your husband.

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Why not? Why cant you ask ur family members to be more sensitive and considerate towards the feelings of others? If you don't stand up for him, who will? He's feeling upset becoz he doesn't feel supported by his wife. They are your family and should play the role of one. It doesnt mean we should tolerate everything. Sometimes in life, people need to be reminded becoz they may be dense or cannot see things from others perspective.

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