I am stress... my husband and my family don't get along. We are staying in my house with my parents. My mother likes to instruct my husband to do things her way. My husband used to living alone from young so he cannot get used to someone nagging. He himself have his own way of doing stuffs. My father likes to borrow his car and nv pump fuel when is low. Or when the car spoil he will just ask my husband is it your car nv service or this or that but nv help in repairand only questions him. The last time was asking me and my husband to buys stuffs for praying and we wake up late, my father was piss, he ignore us and giving us black face when we call him. After 2 times of ignore when being call, my husband stop calling him and just ignore back. They treat each other like stranger and it's like not happy with each other. My sister son who is 15 love to be with my husband and always go around him asking this and that. Last sat, our LO was sleeping, my sister son came in and talk to my husband kept on asking what game he play? Why this why that.. my husband ask him to lower his voice baby is waking up, but my sister son kept on going and suddenly the baby cried out very loud and it trigger my husband he scold my sister son and bang the room door. After that my sister son did not talk to him anymore. So is my sister, they even delete his fb from friend list. I am really stress and I understand why my husband reacted this way. But another side they are still my family. I think my husband is really piss off with them.

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I know the Asian mentality is to not talk about it but in this case you may have to sit your family down and talk about it and then talk to your hubby and then everyone together. This is all about miscommunication that needs to be addressed. I am going to blunt with this so sorry in advance. Mums do nag but your mum needs to understand that even getting nagged at constantly gets annoying after a while, your father is being tactless and inconsiderate on the low fuel part. Your sister is honestly childish for behaving like that by blocking him and also her son behaving like a brat. When you say 15, I am guessing 15 years? By then you actually aware of things so the fact your hubby kept saying constantly to keep his volume low and he refused means consequences which your sister should understand. To your hubby, just tell him that your parents are concerned about him but also especially you. So they just want to make sure he looks after himself properly including you especially since you will be busy with your family. Also to apologise to your nephew for lashing our and said he could have handled the situation a little better but also explain why he was angry. The last is your family, let your mum know that your hubby lived alone and is not use to being told (don't use nag) what to do so instead of telling him all the time, maybe she can just ask him more as a question and not tell him as often. Tell your father that maybe if he uses the car, could he help to top up the gas, or if the car needs repair to ask your hubby the next time he does use it, does he also want him to send for repair as a thanks to your hubby letting him lend the car. Let your sis cool down and explain what happened to the situation and why your husband got angry and later bring your nephew and both of you explain that although he wanted to hang out with his uncle, he must also understand the bay was sleeping and was told constantly to keep the volume down and ask him to put himself in his uncle shoes. And have your nephew apologist to your hubby and get your sister to apologise as well. This all should be done if moving out is an issue for you now

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I used to stay with my hubby's family too and my in-laws behave the same as your parents. My mil is very unreasonable, she is very rude but always think she is right just because she is elder. My fil never respect our privacy and will just open my personal letter and read it. I used to give in to them until they crossed the line. That's when my husband and I start to have issue with each other as he thought I am disrespectful to his parents and I think he does not support or stand in my shoes. Speaking from experience in your husband's shoes, moving out will be the best option. If not, one fine day it will be you and him fighting over all these small issue due to the all pressure built-up in him over the years.

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5y ago

I didn't call my pils for half a year too. It really depends on what kind of characters is your parents. My pils are those people who cry wolf when they are at fault and go around making you a baddie to get other to "scold" you to make you bow to them. They did it to my Husband whenever they can't get their way. There is once my mil threatens to slap me just because she is unhappy my husband got no time to help her to find out something not really important at all. Hence, I did it to show them

Is ur house coming? How Long more are u all gg to stay with ur parents? I think it is already not easy for a man to move into the Wife's family house. I will "protect" my man since he is in my territory just like how i want him to if I'm living with his parents. I will let him know that I'm with him and I disagree with what my family has been doing

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5y ago

because of this, we apply sale of balance flats and is going to choose the flat in April.

Shift out ASAP, get your own house & stay yourselves, don't stay with any family members, this is to avoid conflict. My wife and I once let my wife's Elder sister stay in our flat and she took us for granted. In the end, ask my wife to ask her to shift out and it has been peace ever since we stay ourselves again.

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TapFluencer

The issue stems from all you staying in the same house. Conflict will always arise. Is there a way for you and Husband to explore living by yourselves separately? That way you will have the freedom to be by yourself and make decisions without thinking how it will affect others.

I feel that unless your parents are very very accommodating, else it’s never a good idea to stay together. Different people have different upbringing, values and character and you can’t expect them to be ok with another person..

VIP Member

I think it’s time to move out. It might be tough financially or maybe you might feel that you need your parents help. But ultimately it is best to get your own family settled and no need to involve in-laws/parents.

I would consider moving out as I would constantly be walking on eggshells thinking when would be the next triggering point. And it’s not very good for your LO’s development growing up too.

VIP Member

Gosh, this is such tricky situation! Not much you can do there since it's your house. Maybe talk to them and hope they can compromise and make peace? Good luck!

I think it's best to move out..There will always be conflict when staying with other people unless you're super accommodating and qing cai kind