Need to let it out... My husband keep saying me not being flexible enough in thinking. He dislike my family.. and I dislike his family.. but I am staying in my parents house. His way of taking care of our lo is different from mine. And he always insist on his way. But I am a stay home mom, so I can have all the time to take care of my lo. I just feel that after having my lo, my relationship with my husband is rocky. Always quarrel about lo or our family members. Sometime I thinking of divorce and live my own life with my lo. But I am a sahm, maybe custody will not be given to me. I really so tired. I starting to be quiet and ignore things that I don't like or don't wish to hear.. and when he is taking care of my lo, I will start to play games so I can totally not care how his way of taking care. His has a big ego and everything I try talking to him end up he will put his thinking into me. Making me think that his way is better. Dam irritating de. No point talking out to such a selfish person. My lo is 2 months plus.
I guess it's hard to totally like our inlaws but what we can do is we can just try to show basic respect when we see them on important occasions. No need to try to like them or whatever. I also do not expect my husband to like my family too as we are all human beings and sometimes we don't like someone means don't like, most importantly is both of you as husband and wife must stand up for each other and have open communication. Have you consider moving out on your own or waiting for new house? It could be that as you are still taking care of baby in your parents house, your husband could not see eye to eye to the method which you may have applied by your parent's ways so might have some conflicts? Although you might not like him to interrupt him the way you handle baby, think of the bright side that at least he wants to get involved. It's even great that you close one eye and do your stuff while he handles the baby, as there are husbands who rarely helps out thinks that as long as he bringing the bacon means he no need to get involved in child caring duties. Go and have your ME time because you will crave for more in the long run instead of getting annoyed by him.Read more
Its such a cliche things to say but communication is the greatest ally in a relationship. I think it'd be a good idea to sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart talk. Be mature during the discussion, and whenever he gets agitated or "lose it", call him out and ask him why does he talk that way. Men are like that. They sometimes talk to "save face" and ego. My hubby used to talk down to me all the time because I didn't graduate college. Only after I politely remind him that he and I are in the same team when raising our children, then he stopped talking that way. I agree its frustrating but you have to let him know how you feel. If you think that its hard for both of you to have that kind of discussion, maybe what I suggest is to visit a marriage counsellor. Have a third party involve while you guys talk it out. Its easy to let go and divorce, but the whole point of a relationSHIP is to navigate through rocky sea. If you wanna talk more, let me know :)Read more
after reading the entire post, i would say that talk to him once more and tell him what is going on in your mind. if you are at home with your child all the time, i am sure you have a stronger influence. both parents have the right to teach their child things in their own way, and it is not always necessary that both the parents will agree on it. you both will have to find a middle ground for such things. if possible, speak to your hubby how you both seem to be fighting about the families, without having any real issues to fight. if you both can stop doing so like mature adults, great. ask yourself if you really love him or if you will be fine to get out of this. being a SAHM is no reason to continue with a marriage. you said you stay with your parents, so why can't you go out and get a job and earn for yourself? please weigh all the pros and cons and reach a decision.Read more
i understand you are feeling disconnected and are also thinking of a divorce. while it is not the best solution, i want to ask you - have you really tried to work it out with him, thought about all the pros and cons and then also want to go for a divorce? is there any love you feel towards him as a partner or is it absolutely over? i know not everyone will agree with me, but your baby is quite small and if you really want to move out of the marriage, maybe this is a good time. but remember that you will still have to handle everything yourself and earn for it too. also, the initial years of having a baby are always tough, as both parents feel they are right and want to raise the baby in their own way. please take some time off for yourself, maybe just a day, and think about what you want to do. sit with your husband and discuss all this once at least.Read more
Every parents has different ways when it comes to parenting, be it raising the kid or when it comes to disciplining a child. As LO is 2 months now, it's still the early and easy stage, Once LO gets more mobile, more will come in. As a couple, both of you have to sit down and think about how are you all going to raise the kid. Both my husband and i, he focus on bringing the money home, while i raise the kid despite me working, i will handle the school works and disciplining (but when the child gets out of hand, i will ask the daddy to take over to let kids know that Daddy is the higher authority,) Parents wise, try to close one eyes. My husband dislike me family, I dislike his family. But im staying with his family as house is not here yet. So no choice. Lie low and keep quiet. Hang in there. There is still a long way to go.Read more
Your whole thing appeared as if I am looking 10 years back at my life. All these things happen, and the trick is to how slide through all this "not at all important" issues and focus on good life. I think, first you move out of your parents home to stay with your husband, and then stay through thick and thin. And talk to each other like friends first and discuss your problems than trying to prove who is right. Let him have his say some times, egoist people feel important this way. But do not feed his ego. You need to be tactful. Be honest with each other. And rather than fighting address the problem and work as a team to solve it. If you think this can work between you two, stay together. I say, give it a try, and if nothing works, it is better to stay apart than ruin each others peace by staying together.Read more
But why are you staying in your parent's home, why an't you both staying together? Anyway, I think if you both move together, see the ups and downs of life together, share responsibilities, then you people will come close and will perhaps try to see each other's point of view as well. This man not liking his in laws and visa vis is an internal issue... so do not ruin your lives because of this nonsense. Yes, if you both have real big issue of disapproval with each other then it is another thing, which you can both sit and sort out rather than jumping to conclusions. All because, you have a little life to take care off and you can not and should not take decision of divorce recklessly lest it is the only way out. I suggest, both of you, sit and talk, probably taking a counsellor's help.Read more
Just go to stay with Ur Husband only and have some quality time with Ur lo and husband.. enjoy growth of Ur child day by day and let get enjoy him too.... just live moments of Ur baby each and each every day.. just let him connect with Ur lo. And about methods of handling lo .. just show Ur husband Ur efforts for Ur lo.. by sometimes he will know that whatever u do it's right for Ur lo. Just focus on Ur lo now because he is too small.... and I think Ur the only who is always be around ur lo for 24/7 hours so don't worry about some time just let Ur Husband handle Ur lo.. he will learn by achieving experience.... About his ego.. just get be independent.... Work from home (after some time because Ur lo is too small) or search a job. And be happy.. don't fight with Ur husband....Read more
Divorce is not the way out... kid need mom and dad both. If u really wanna put ur husband ego down than 1 step u shud take is that get on ur heels first n make him realise that ur life can be better in his absence. Maintain good relation with ur in-laws. Good relation with in-laws is a nerve to get ur husband down. N do it duties n treat him as if really don't care abt his mood. If he is yelling let him yell... dont reply.... coz we we don't bark back to a mad barking dog. Just ignore him... dont even look at him.Read more
Speaking like a true Indian wife ;) no wonder my indian friends always seem happier even they complain about their wife.
Do you still love him? I have gone through such stages with my husband as well. I guess it's very normal. With that said, I advise for you to take a step back and focus on yourself. Also dealing with in-laws are never easy. Thank God, I don't have to deal with any of that. Your lo is still small. So both you and hubby are also adjusting with a new family member with plenty of demands and much attention needed. Take a break dear. Don't think of divorce.Read more