My husband is always sick and I am just so tired of taking care of a sick person. I feel like my life and my child's life is always compromised due to his illness. We can't go out, he can hardly spend time with his child, he's always moping away in pain. Any advice for me to not be so annoyed and more accepting of his illness?
Hi mama. Sorry that you are feeling this way. I Guess it is also tough on you coz when he falls sick, you shoulder the full responsibility of looking after the kids and chores, in addition to him. I think it depends if it’s a terminal illness or is it just that his immunity is very Low. If it’s a terminal illness, I understand the caregiver fatigue. My dad had cancer and in the last days of his life it was very taxing on the whole family, especially my mum. But looking back, what was the fatigue we felt compared to the pain and indignity of the patient? Once the person is gone, you won’t even be able to spend time with him and will probably regret any resentment you had at the inconveniences caused by his illness (the patient himself does not feel good about it too, having to depend on people and inconvenience others). If it’s just generally poor immunity, perhaps think about how you can resolve it? How about ways to boost his immunity e.g. Supplements? Is he eating and sleeping properly and getting exercise? Ensure proper hygiene so he doesn’t fall sick so easily?Read more
Try to put yourself in his shoes and understand the pain he is in. Not sure what illness he has and if it can ever be cured. If it is a Long term illness or he is critically ill, it might be a good idea to share your struggles with your hubby, as it can make the two of you closer, despite the many changes in your lives together. Many caregivers are reluctant to share their difficulties for fear of making the person in their care feel worse. But sharing your struggles and even your sorrows can make the “cared for” person feel as if he or she is giving you emotional support. As a result, not only will you get that support, but the person you’re caring for will feel as if he or she is contributing to the well-being of the relationship. In addition, there may be important issues, such as financial constraints, that badly need to be talked about in order to avoid harder times down the road.Read more
I feel you. The only one time my 9 month old gal has been sick was when she caught the flu virus from her dad. It is normal to feel annoyed because we moms take the most bulk of the taking car and with a sick dad their share of burden becomes even lesser. Have a good talk with your husband to take better care of himself. Tell him that his health is his own responsibility first and that as parents we need to be able to take care of ourselves first. Men will always be boys. They need women to take care of them. Perhaps we spend so much time on our babies that we forgot to take care of this big kid of ours :) take consolation that it is not just your husband. Ask the other moms here and they will all tell you their husbands are mostly like this. Mine is like that too,always coughing or something. Maybe ask him to take some supplements to boost his immune system?Read more
Haha I'm with you. After my firstborn, my hubby was complaining endlessly about being tired, and I was thinking 'how could you be more tired than me?'.
Dun mind to share wad kind of sickness he has? If it is those common illnesses like flu, cough sore throat, u can help him to boost his immunity by getting him some supplements to take.. If it is terminal illness, on and off his symptoms will come and side effects of medicines will affect his whole well-being too.. It is really not easy. I have taken care of terminally ill patients before. It takes alot of patience and energy. If it is terminal illness, he has limited days/yrs to live.. He needs u to be there to help him and ur presence means alot to him. It can be very tiring for u but put urself in his shoe. Nobody wanna get sick. Imagine now u r e one getting sick like him. If he say he is tired taking care of his sick wife, how would u feel?Read more
It is difficult for you when it affects you personally and directly. It is however most important for the 2 of you to overcome this together as man and wife. I think a break may do you good. Try to arrange for your child to be cared for by your parents or in-laws and have a holiday with your hubby. If a holiday is not possible, try for a full day quiet time with him without your child. Take this opportunity to seek his understanding that he has to do his part as a husband and a father within his means.Read more
Remember our marriage vows? Its really easier said than done. We can be poor, but really cannot get sick. Its definitely tough, but imagine if we are the ones who are sick, we also hoped that our husbands will be there for us too. Always important to take a breather, have a trusted relative to put your child aside, go for support groups or do something you like.Read more
I’m a husband and my wife’s immune system can be compromised once in awhile. Apart from the negativity of taking care of her while she is down, I’m sure she is equally feeling bad because of the inconvenience she may have brought to me. Cut him some slack. Marriage is more than just you or him alone.Read more
Hi, It can be painful process as you have to take the full responsibility of everything. But please try to understand that your husband is really going through a bad phase and you supporting him would really give him the strength to get well soon. I know it is hard but you need to be more strong at this timeRead more
Oh what's your husband sickness,mind sharing?I understand how tiring it is and our emotions can be all over the place. Aren't we to love and care our spouse in whatever condition they are. If not us, who else.. Why don't you consider hiring a caregiver?
My Husband too but I took care of him at all cost cause I love him... I don't mind not having time to go out, have fun or anything like that. I'd prefer staying home with my husband.. that's why I chose to marry him, to standby him.