Need to rant and listening ears. I don't know what should I do? I felt really really tired for my marriage. I just gave birth two month ago, and alot of things has happened. It is driving me on the verge of leaving my husband. My husband is a guy that love his 'face', everytime he expect me to suck it up even i was treated unfairly by him. So that, I won't embarrassed him infront of his colleagues or relatives when we had an argument. He always think i am a bad wife, a bad daughter in law, where he always compare me to his friends' wife. But all his friends wife is all stay home mom, who had time to do all the housework and taking care of the child. What's more, i am earning more than him. Before our marriage, when we had an arguments, he would use vulgarities and be rough on me. And when i want to leave, he told me he promised not to do it again. When i got married to him when i found out i was pregnant. I told him that my parents is fine with having a simple rom and a reception. So that we could use the saving that we both save for our child. Ended up his mother keep saying that i will regret if i dont held a grand wedding and walk down the aisle. Ended up we spent 30k of our saving preparing for a wedding that i did not want. I went along with it so to respect his parent's wishes. During my pregnancy, it wasn't a smooth pregnancy. My husband was not always there for me as he has work commitment.There was one time i woke up with blood on my panties and i was not due yet. I was send to the hospital by my dad, stayed in the emergency room from 5am till 12pm while my dad waiting for me outside. I was the one who told my husband, to go ahead for his work as it was a rare opportunities for him. Closer to my due date, his boss asked him if he could go oversea as his company lack of manpower. I too, say its okay. I tried to be as understanding as much as i could, as i do not want to hinder with his career. But ended up, he branded me as a bad wife. When we had argument, he once pushed me which made me fall and luckily i did not suffered miscarriage. He told me that whatever he said and does to me, is i deserve it. When ever i have bruises from him being rough at me, i always covered up by lying to his parents/friends/my parents that i knock on to the drawer, i fell.. Am i a bad wife? Bad daughter in law? Because his mom never ask me do housework or cook, when i did his parents tell me not to? He degrade me, he scolded me and he uses his hand on me. I am really tired of this relationship. He told me, if i dont talk back or quarrel with him. He won't become like this and what i received from him is what i deserve. He expect me to be good, to keep quiet and to be understanding. I did all that, i kept mum about what happened from his family, i become understanding towards what he wanted, i took care of my child during my confinement while he went back to work because his boss need him during his paternity leave. He is dedicated towards his friend, his colleagues. I always try and try to be a good wife, so finally he could just treat me right without all these physical and verbally abuse from him. But the result is still the same, he told me I cannot be angry, if i am angry then i will received all these. So i should be emotionless? Is being angry is wrong?. I really don't know how i am feeling now. Depressed? Disappointed? Upset? What have i done wrong to him that I received all these? Im so confused and tired. Thanks for listening.. :)

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Read through this and all the replies and feels somehow it’s saying the relationship I have with my BB’s Father... We’re once having fun and things got serious. Back then, we both have our own relationships and basically we’re just flings.. Because of my family background and financial I’ve been staying with my ex and when things got serious with my BB’s Father I told my ex I wanted to end things ... But it all takes time due to our rental tgt.. my ex and me ended in Jan 2018.. I find out I was pregnant in June 2018. I told my BB’s Father about it and felt like he’s a guy that I’m willing to spend my life with and I do not wish to lie anything about him anymore.. I told him about things with my ex.. and the nightmare started.. His love left, verbal abuse started.. he questioned about BB’s identity.. it last till I give birth and now.. I find out that he’s seeing another girl in Aug 2018 and even till now.. I’m really heart broken that he refuse to end things with her and have no intention to work things out for the child.. I had left his place and went back to my own place.. I’m really tired to be keep dragging on with him and knowing he have no intention to end things outside.. I’m not saying I did no wrong to him.. but just I feel like both of us had done wrong why is all the faults being pushed to me.. 💔

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As your husband is not here to present his case, I can only take it as it is acrimony between parties. There is no right or wrong, only stories they tell. The welfare of your child is what I am most concern with here. If there is violence, please make a police report. It is obvious that both of you cannot click. You have 2 choices, go for counselling with your husband in hope to save the marriage or divorce. In an event of divorce, I hope you as a mother give your child a chance to have both parents in his/her life by coming up with a shared care and control arrangement whereby the child can enjoy the love and warm of both parents/families. Please remember that the bonding between your child and father can only be formed with time. Given he is labouring for the financial well-being of the family, I suspect he doesn't have much time with the child. You may advise him to take a less stressful work and spend more time with the children. If you are not working, maybe is a good time to find a job. Hopefully that will help save the marriage somehow.

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I’m not one to comment about other people’s relationship but this is too much. I suggest the both of you to go for counselling (which honestly, I don’t think he would go). The way I see it, he doesn’t think his actions/words are wrong & you can never make someone feel sorry or change if they don’t think whatever they are doing is wrong. A marriage, or any other relationship, needs 2 hands to clap. Your efforts alone will never be enough. If he doesn’t put in the effort & doesn’t even show basic concern/love/appreciation for you, then this is a red flag already. For someone to even lay his hands or say insulting things constantly to his spouse, shows a lot about how much he really cares/loves you. He tries to make you feel that you’re always at fault so that he can justify his actions. This is a very toxic and unhealthy relationship. Something is very wrong with him & you need to get help, for you and your children.

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male chauvinist i felt. since u earn more than him so he felt belittle felt inferior so he rather be devoted to his colleagues(to maybe get a pronotion be on par or higher than u) and friends(of same level). if there is still some love for him try go to a counsellor. if the love died than better leave him and move on. the forest is full of trees to choose and you deserve a 2nd chance of a good marriage,love,life. if tolerate on it may affect the development of your child in the long run if counselling also dont move him to change. never try never know. try a few sessions of counselling if ur heart felt he is still the same guess is time u move out n on. no woman deserve being treated like this. you should get a personal protection order from court 1st should he try to harm you+baby again. i worry for yours and baby safety.

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Dear, many times in life we need not look for faults. It takes 2 willing individuals to fall in love and 2 willing individuals to stay in love or out of love, whether a marriage last forever or not credit goes to both parties as well. Nothing can work out one sided. No comparison will ever be enough. With all this said, have you ever speak to your husband from your heart? Telling him how you truly feel. With regards to getting physical, i know many would say oh make a report etc etc, sometimes we are too deep that it gets really hard. Being emotionally handicapped can be very challenging. Question now is, do you want this marriage, how much more are you going to tolerate and for how long? I would definitely fight and move on. Only you can decide what you want for yourself.

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It's never easy to tolerate an egoist & MCP. One need to have high tolerance & have to see very open not to take it to heart at times. My Husband is very MCP, very egoistic & inferior but never admit. I'm very ego too but I clearly know one party have to give in if not never ending quarrelling. We used to quarrel often till now touchwood we never quarrel for Long Liao. Squabbling yes but no fights. My tolerance level is so high that he himself also begin to mellow down & I gain his respect. If want to have a Long lasting relationship, must learn to give in & tolerate. Sometimes there's nothing to lose out. But of Coz I have my bottom line la and he knows. He know when to stop. U can't change an egoistic man but u can mellowed Him down.

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5y ago

but in this case, it's not just squabbling though.. He's not only an egoist & mcp but a woman beater as well.. No man should ever lay a finger on any woman (even worse when she was pregnant), period!

No men should lay a finger on any women regardless of what in an argument unless she is endangering his life with weapon. All men and women had their flaws but we need to learn to put ourselves in each other shoe. I had huge argument with my wife and i always give in at the end by walking away. N not being there with you during pregnancy is just wrong . Its a flesh n blood of both no money can buy that. Anyway, me as a men is advising u to move on with a brand new life with your new born n not revolving such negativity in life. U dont need this n neither is the kid. Hope all will turn out well n do be open to your own family about the abuse to gain better protection. Take care

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Hope the situation has improved. Seems like face to face conversation may be difficult because of trust issues that your hubby is having, esp on identity of the baby. Try writing him a letter/text message to share your feelings about how he treats you despite your honesty, share with him what you look forward to in your marriage with him and the upbringing of your child. Do it in a safe platform where you can have an "argument" / dialogue without the violence to see if he wants to work this out together. Maybe a consideration of marriage counselling. If all else fails, you will need to consider your child's and your best interest in terms of physical and mental wellbeing.

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I understand your situation, i strongly suggest seeing a good counsellor,pray hard and love him (i know its really tuff) but the more he sees you disgruntle towards him the more his behaviour towards you will be bad and just leave him alone. Let him do what he wants, dont get in his way and try to give him love. He may change.. He has too much anger in him and when you give a person like that love they may change and be very loving. Try it out dont get in his way, let him do what he wants, just keep quiet when he is angry dont say a word and see if things improve, Overtime you may find him to be more calmer and assertive and loving towards u... Will pray for you. T cr

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Don't listen to us. We are in no position to tell you what to do or what not to do. We are merely strangers and we don't know exactly what or why it happens. The only person is yourself. If you have issues, think it through yourself first. Can it be resolved, leaving him is only going to create pain for yourself and the baby. Much said. Everyone has problems and we always think that ours is unsolvable. Not that you are a bad wife or daughter in law, it's like my wife. She isn't bad or nasty it's just that at times we always have something that we are not happy about and tension built up. Words tends to be spiked because of that. We all need to reflect

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