DIY Confinement

It really depends on how much help you are able to get after you are discharged from the hospital, and if you are able to afford for a nanny. My confinement lady was stuck in Malaysia due to covid and last minute nanny are over my budget. So my mother offered to help me with my confinement. From this experience I had with my mom and hubby helping me and as a new mom, I must say external help and lots of rest is really important for your recovery and mental health. My hubby was only able to help me for 2 weeks of his paternity leave and the help from him was limited as I insisted to breastfeed my baby. It was during the nights I felt really exhausted and alone, as I was the only one waking up to do the night feeds. While my mom and hubby did the day shift. I felt very depressed during the confinement period and I lost weight very quickly. I only got some rest during the day when my mom is awake, with me ordering lunch confinement meals, and my mom helped to cook my confinement meals for dinner. My mom helped to bathe the baby during the day and top up with formula if she was still hungry. The rest I got during the day was very little and I couldn’t sleep well whenever I hear my baby cry during the day. I feel very bad and heart pain to see my mom and hubby feeling exhausted too. It is without a doubt that everyone in the house is going to be very tired because your baby is going to cry a lot for the first month as your LO needs time to get used to the people around her and the new environment. I would suggest, if you are able to afford for a nanny, go for it. At least she is able to help during the night shift and you get the rest you need during the night, so that you can recover faster and be well enough to take care of your LO. Jiayou 😉

You and husband have to be prepare both physically and mentally cos honestly it's gonna be exhausting. I had a period of post natal blues and it's not something any mum will ever want to go through. For us Malays, majority of us don't hire any confinement nanny so we depend or will ask for help from our mother/MIL to cook our confinement meals. Even if it's just for a few days, it'll be sufficient for us especially if your husband does not know how to cook. For me with no helper & a toddler, my mum will come over (not sleepover) for a few days to help bath my baby and at the same time I learn the techniques. Either she or my MIL will bring over some confinement foods. My husband will do all the housechores and he also learnt how to cook & cooked simple soup/dish for me. Then I engaged 3-5 days post natal massage. We saved a lot of money this way which can be use for baby's expenses. My kids are now grown up and I'm expecting again. We'll be doing everything by ourselves this time, now that the kids can help around with the housechores except the post natal massage of course. It is very exhausting w/o any help but do not be embarassed to ask for any. Remember, your mental health is also priority.

For malays we dont have such service like a confinement nanny. when i had my firstborn, my mother passed on when i was in the first trimester. mil promised to care for me right after i give birth. sadly all she wants is the baby. she didnt cook food for my confinement n scolded my husband when he went out to buy food for me to eat. im not able to rest much bcos she may pass bad remarks and im not able to feed my baby as much bcos she will nag saying i keep on latching too much. forcing me to feed baby formula. due to all the experience, since i had my 2ndborn onwards, i have been catering confinement food and tingkat meals for my husband n kids. my husband will look after and spend time with my other children while i get my rest and massage. im also able to latch my newborn more so i can produce more milk, and bathe my baby with the products that i prefer. no rude remarks, heartbreaking comments and disturbances. im able to recover well. it is manageable if ur husband is understanding and knows that this is the best option that the both of u have. have a heart to heart talk. May u have a good rest after birth and recover well..

Yup it is possible. But you’ll need to know your personalities and be prepared that it will be tiring. My husband and I are quite hands on and quite fuss-free. It is also best to plan out beforehand on duties. For example I bought the daily herbal soup package and my husband would prepare that and the red date tea daily. To be honest I didn’t really do confinement other than my meals etc. But it was tiring cos I was taking care of bb on my own too. Preferred to do that rather than having the mental stress of either my mum or MIL at my house. So yes it’s a trade off I guess. There would be lots of washing and sterilising to do. Ie milk bottles or pump parts. If you foresee you may not have time to wash multiple times a day you may wanna consider buying more bottles or multiple pump parts so you only need to wash once a day. You can also consider taking shifts to tend to the baby at night (rather than both waking up) so that you can each get a short stretch of uninterrupted sleep for your own sanity.

in short, for me and my husband, was yes. we did not hire a confinement nanny, mostly due to cost reason and afraid of crash of ideas with my MIL. Our maid helped washed mine and the baby's clothing (we were told the mommy's clothing and baby's must be washed separately from all other family members). My MIL also taught the maid to prepare basic confinement related dishes and the red date tea. Truth be told, it is very tiring (my friends whom had nannies claimed they did nothing but fed the baby and rested - jealous much!), and to a certain extent, it tested my bond with my husband. Looking back it was crazy, harrowing and scary because half the time we were not sure if we were doing things right?! But we emerged stronger than ever, our LO just turned 19 months 😊

Definitely possible. But you could use all the help you can get from hubby and in-laws. I didn’t do strict confinement for both my previous deliveries and it did work out fine. No issues so far. TBH, this strict confinement practice is kinda outdated. Of course, as a woman who has carried another human being for 9 months and then delivering this tiny human being into this world, you’d definitely lose strength, so you need lots of rest and proper nutrition to recover. If your husband is willing, then there is no need to bring in a stranger to “boss” (I’ve heard stories) you around, insisting what she believes is right.

I had no confinement nanny because I do not like the idea of having a stranger (much less a potentially bossy one) staying in the house. in addition, I am very picky with food so I am better off doing without a nanny. I did not order confinement meal packages because of my fussy tastebuds too. I have a helper to do household chores. I ordered TCM herbal tea and soups from Madam Partum and prepared most of my own meals. Soups are ready in an hour with a pressure cooker. Hubby and our parents shower the newborn. It is manageable and in a few weeks I will be doing my 2nd confinement without a nanny again.

i survived my confinement without any hired CL, we didnt like the idea of a stranger in the hse too. a few things we did: - ordered confinement meals - my mother boiled fish soup (for milk booster) and red dates soup. she visited every evening ( to help a little with baby n check on my sanity) - my mother-in-law came in the noon to help shower baby and stay for 2 hrs (and i will get a nap during that time) - hubby will help in laundry and chores - purchased a UV sterilizer and more milk bottles to rotate(save time in sterilising bottles) - got the confinement herbs for bath

it is manageable although it really is tiring. we engaged a nanny for my first child but decided to handle confinement on our own for my 2nd child and catered confinement meals for lunch and dinner. the toughest part of it was the night waking. it’ll help if you discussed beforehand how you and your husband will arrange your time so that you can avoid misunderstanding or miscommunication. would definitely be welcomed help from family members if they are willing. might also consider limiting visitors during this time so that you have more time to rest in the day.

it's not easy honest speaking you will be very tired if your hub don't do what you're expecting you will be making noise. recovering journey is important. you have to think about the good and bad before making decisions. confinement need to do well also because it will affect you in future alot people say we don't have issue but who knows in 20 30 years down? I had a friend who has issue 5 years pp. to me health is more important than anything. you must be mentally and physically healthy so you can take care your family