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M, Singapore

First time mum

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Managing newborn and confinement on our own

My husband and I are planning to manage confinement and our newborn on our own as we prefer it that way. I am not comfortable having someone else at home and my husband is pretty hands on with cooking and chores. This is our first child. My mom expects that we move in with her for a month for confinement as she says that she has everything at her place and she can help us with cooking, cleaning and looking after the baby. She just asked me again if I have decided to go to her place and (although she asked it as if I had a choice) when I told her that we will be staying at home she went ballistic and basically went on about how we don’t know what we are getting ourselves into. This is precisely why I prefer to stay at home as although she is helpful, she always just wants to do things her own way and can get very negative, which affects me and I know that I will be stressed if she is around. We told her that she is welcome to come over to play with the baby but I know that she is still upset that we are not doing things her way. I have purchased the 30 day herbal soups and my husband will be cooking my meals. I have also been reading up as much as I can on breastfeeding and newborn care to prepare. We are not too fastidious about the house being sparkling clean and lead a pretty no frills lifestyle. Would just like to handle this on our own terms without causing so much upset. Sigh. Any advice or stories of support welcome. Can’t really share with my close friends as they all have helper, confinement nannies and / or their mum / MILs around during the period and see it as a necessity. Nothing wrong with that definitely, but I know it’s not for me.

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