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Husband ALWAYS flares up because of this

My hubby & his siblings all have hygiene & neatness peeve issues since young after his mum was a OCD hygiene peeved person. Therefore he grew up in an environment quite clean and tidy. But I must mention he grew up from a poor family and there’s nothing his mum can buy when they were young, so there’s also not much clutters or mess (toys, kids’ clothes) in his maternal’s house. Anyway he did tell his maternal house really doesn’t have much things when we were dating long time ago. Before we got married and moved into our new house, everything was still quite ok because we had no child back then and things were not messy and a lot. However when we finally had a child, things changed drastically, he would on & off just flared up like a madman, threw things on the floor and even ROARED like thunder at baby (even until toddler stage) and me. He said he dislike the house so messy and untidy, with so many toys and clothes hoarding the entire place (rooms & living room). Once in a while, I will try my best only when I am not so tired and have some energy to tidy bit by bit, but whenever I didn’t do it and he flared up, I told him I am very tired after taking care of baby all by myself day and night, I have no more energy to do so, but he wouldn’t understand or sympathise, instead he continued to get frustrated and we ended quarrelling, he either slammed doors to vent his anger or just roared at me because of such issue. There was even a time he got angry with something until he went back to his maternal’s house to stay over and only came home after he simmered down a bit and mainly because most of his working clothes and office notebook were at home. To be honest, I have shared with only a few friends and ALL said what he did was very childish and not loving as a husband and father. Recently, we went to his sibling’s newly renovated house to celebrate the house warming. He was so delighted and commented how nice to have a home so tidy & clean (this happens whenever he visited someone’s house). When we came back, he must have compared our house with his sibling’s house (in his heart discreetly). So yesterday, he flared up slightly again. He said he simply can’t stand why his own house is so messy with all toys and ‘rubbish’? I told him when most people have children, the house will more messy no matter what and even walls can be drawn by the children etc. I said if he’s not convinced, he can ask around his friends. I also explained those friends’ houses which were tidy he has visited before were also not tidied by the couples sometimes because almost all of them either have helpers or their parents or even both to help them out in maintaining their houses. But for us, we really have no one except myself and I am fully drained whenever I took care of our active child. I barely even have enough sleep. Everyday out of 24hours a day, I only slept about 3 to 4 hours max. FYI, there were a few times when we bought from things from a few sellers and have to collect them from their houses, he was very shocked to see how super messy their places were and I must say one of the houses were really even much messy than ours until totally no walking path to enter their living room from the main door. Others were also as messy as ours. On the spot, I whispered to him and said: “you can see for it yourself, I am not lying. All couples have kids, the house sure messy one!” He then commented all of them were lousy & USELESS parents! I disliked how he could have said this of these parents. Parents pls advise me how should I feel whenever he flares up and we (child & I) must face his roaring, slamming of doors, throwing of things and shoutings from him. We felt so fearful but we can’t do anything to make him understand it.

We cnt blame him entirely s he grew up in those environmnt n got used to it.. s ur prt, try to let ur kids play their toys one at a time n keep it straight after play time.. i understand that itz tiring to handle d bby alone.. but in order to save d marriage, we try to give n take n b more patience.. just keep calm.. or try to meet a counsellor.. try to minimize in buying another toys since he doesnt like it..

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Alone with Infant during ML

I am FTM here. After my confinement end, my MIL and husband will resume back to work. Can anyone advise how do you handle alone with the household chores, take care of infant and doing pumping session? We dont have a maid with us. I dont think i can cope alone.. :( #advicepls

I didn’t had help since after I give birth . But I’m blessed my husband cook confinement food for me after confinement I handle my baby until my husband is back home . I only can do house chores when baby is having a nap .

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Allowance

Should husband give their wife allowance if wife is stay at home mom?

Yes !

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Does your husband give you allowance?

Lots of people telling me husband should give allowance

Hi, I think it really depends on mutual understanding of husband and wife

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When did your baby bump started to show?

Comment below at how many weeks was your bump obvious ??

VIP Member

7 month

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Mamas Troop

Hi I have created a whatsapp group. Below is what the group is all about. Do let me know if you wish to join ya. Welcome to ????? ?????! Motto - "????? ????? ????? ????" • Mothers & Mothers to be only • help mothers achieve self love and positivity • Share tips on pregnancy, parenting, breastfeeding, any phases/challenges that we as mother will go through • Share experiences on how our body changes after giving birth • Come together to support each other physically, mentally & emotionally • if needed, we can gossip or rant about husbands too ?? • its perfectly fine to ask for help Hopefully one day we can all hang out together, dressed up, with/without our babies. [To Join] Leave a comment below and will send you group link to join.

How to join?

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Baby stuff

Hi mummies, when do we actually starts to buy baby stuffs? I’m trying to hold on till knowing the gender.. what essential stuff to buy for baby n mummy to prepare for the arrival. Heard a lot of opinions till confused now. Do we buy all new stuffs or some preloved advisable and money saving?#advicepls

Super Mum

Crib, rocker, stroller, breast pump if you're breastfeeding, bottles, bathtub, changing table, steriliser, bottle warmer. Basically go to a mummy shop and buy almost everything haha. Some items can be preloved to save money like crib, stroller

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When Did You First Give Birth?

Just curious, for your first child, at what week do you give birth? And how did you realise its time? Eg, waterbag burst, mucus plug drop, contractions?

VIP Member

38weeks 4days. contraction and follow by abit period.

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Formula Milk recommendation

Can anyone recommend a good formula milk for 12months baby. I don't feel that my baby's meal is balanced thus i feel a need to give her formula. Currently giving Dugro cos she consumed Dulac before but she doesn't drink much and we always end up wasting and throwing it away.

I am giving full cream cows milk for my 1 year old.

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Baby caught a cold

From strong wind. Running nose. See doc or let it recover ? #advicepls

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