Confinement without nanny

I'm a first time mum and delivering in June. For the past few months I thought I have made up my mind not to engage a nanny partly due to space and budget constraints. However, my family members start telling me recently that I should really engage one but for some reason I feel that we can manage without one. Here are some facts to share; do let me know your views! We live in a one bedroom apartment. Husband will be taking paternity leave. Husband has no problem with laundry and housework. Our mothers can drop by a few hours a day. We'll be ordering confinement meals. Based on the above, does it seem ok that we can go without a confinement lady?

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I went thru it without a confinement lady help! totally possible! Our mothers came by a few hours a day too and I got by with the confinement food delivered to our doorstep - but the only thing is you will get bored with the food real soon 🤣 they tend to repeat the dishes/same ingredient-diff way of cooking. I got sick of the food and ended up my mum had to cook n supplement more dishes for me - freshly homecooked food beats the delivered food anytime. the red date drink from the delivery is more diluted too - and we cook more ourselves. it helps if u have a slow cooker n can throw things in n let it cook. your husband has to be more hands-on too; it probably help if u draft a list of tasks he can help in. ( i had to do that cuz my husband not very "automatic"/ aware of situations 🤣) you will need to drink more water n slp as much as u can when your mothers are ard! oh, and get the confinement bathing herbs too - the weather is getting warm n u definitely need to shower (though old folks will disagree)

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3y ago

🤣🤣yes! it will save u some effort to list out 1st! and you can also buy some essence of chicken ( for your husband too) , he will be tired as well. you can consider get tonic wine/DOM, it will help very much too. Get your mothers to help in bathing your baby for the 1st month or 2, so u wont need to strain your back.

Its depends on you. But as first time mum, I’m very glad I engage CL as my plan natural birth become emergency c section & it take almost a month for me to recover. During my confinement my nanny take care of me & baby. And after she left even me & husband have very difficult time to adjust with our baby. Especially with additional pumping session. Lack of sleep is definitely a big issue here 😂. Happened to me, husband need to go out for few hours & left me & baby alone. And my baby keep crying all of sudden and he just have his milk & diapers change. I can’t even go toilet or drink water because I need to calm him down. 🥲 So its really tedious & I have breakdown many times because its very difficult to adjust life with newborn & very very tiring. But seeing your little one face sleep peacefully always make everything seems worth it. Jiayou mummy!

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3y ago

oh yes definitely. CL would most likely be like your angels if your mums are not available!

I am also doing my confinement without a nanny but my mum-in-law comes in the day time every day to just help out with chores and also to take care of the baby so my husband and I can rest a little here and there. I think having one extra person in the house to help out in the day is really helpful, especially when you’re a FTM trying to adjust to a brand new baby during the first month, and what’s more, you’re up almost all night feeding and putting baby to sleep (that’s me). The day time is when I honestly catch up with my rest and to chill a little because I’m exhausted from the night. Hope this is useful for you. (: Having a sudden addition to the family is a huge adjustment so when help is offered, take it readily. (:

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3y ago

sure, thanks a lot!

Hi! I'm in a similar situation as you, except I'm doing csect (in June too), plus I have no help from parents or helper and not engaging nanny. Got postnatal massage package and also confinement meal package. Husband and I are glad we are not getting nanny esp with the worsening covid situation. I'm paranoid about staying with a stranger whose hygiene level I can't be sure of. Nannies are after all not vaccinated and they don't go through the swab tests before deployed to your home. Also, agencies are having delays, freelancer nannies are flying aeroplane these days. That's extra uncertainties to deal with.

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I had this dilemma, for a slightly different reason. My mum lives in Malaysia and I had to either get immigration approval to have her enter Singapore during covid times, or get a confinement nanny. thankfully she was approved to enter, so I did not need to get a nanny. I recommend your mum comes over to stay with you, maybe for a month. getting a confinement nanny has the added stress of getting used to another new person in your home. you will also be in pain, recovering from blood loss, sweating like mad and going through a lot hormonally. it will be a lot for your husband to take on.

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3y ago

your mum needs to be quarantined in designated shn facilities or u will request for her to shn at home? I'm asking coz i have same plan but only problem is my mum is on insulin and if she comes alone, she can't manage as usually in msia my dad does it for her

TapFluencer

the reason for confinement is to let your body recover. for Chinese we believe that it's a major thing s besides recovery it's about nourish our body too. if you have c sect it won't be easy for the first 3 weeks. you got to breastfeed take care etc. if you have natural birth first 2 weeks it will be difficult too. if you want a healthy and strong body do confinement strictly. if you didn't do it properly you won't see the side effects now. but some sees it in 2 year after delivery. some is when their 40s.

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I just gave birth on th 19th. I didn't engage any nanny. but I stay with my in laws so my mother in law helps me to shower my baby . I order confinement meal for lunch and dinner . During th day when my mil is out working , I could ownself take care of my baby . For my girl she will wakeup 2-3hrs for her feed after that she will be slping . So while she slp I could eat my meals or just nap until I hear her cries for milk .

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Hi. I’m doing my confinement without a nanny too and only with the help of my husband as I’m staying with my mum in law and there isn’t any space for one more person. I feel that as long as you’ve a supportive husband who can help u out, you’ll definitely be able to do it without nanny. Tips: do try as much confinement trial meals before ordering it ◡̈ I ordered mine from Chilli Padi.

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3y ago

Hey, they actually have discount code online. My husband manage to find it and use it during the order. Though it’s not a lot but I reduce the amount slightly. You can try to see if this promo code still work. ENVYHER5. ($84.40 off). He paid $1.6k for 28 days dual meal.

Personally I feel it’s better to have another person to help you with your confinement besides your husband because baby wakes up every 2-3 hours for milk and sometimes baby cries non stop which will make you and your husband very tired. You and your husband won’t get to rest well at night and then he still has to do housework in the morning etc.

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3y ago

I agree with you. :)

me too, im not getting one and the family and friends are like.. no.... you cant live wo a nanny.. hb is not comfortable with letting baby slp with nanny.. so there’s no point i think.. like you said right.. we can cater confinement food, just the takkng care of baby part will be dependent on ourselves. I think we can do wo one! jia you!

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3y ago

hi! thanks! i haven done it yet.. edd in May. I might just take this haha instead of the expensive confinement meals. my fren did it wo nanny too.. and she did it.. so i think we’ll be ok