My mil thinks she can only handle her son and whole house. She only knows his likes and dislikes. And she does all the work in home. She washes his son clothes, does kitchen work, everything. My husband says m not doing anything behaving as a guest. I too feel like that. But the fact is she is not giving chance for me. Even if I want to take anything, she only knows where it is. But my husband says my mom is getting old, so u take care all of us. How do I handle this sitn. How 'll i make him understand that she is not giving chance? My husband keeps on saying that u didn't even making a cup of tea for me. Sometimes I feel happy that I don want to do any work. But sometimes I feel m staying in this house as guest. Really I don't feel like my home.

It's obvious tht ur husband can't see ur dilemma or is not shown by his mom. You need to do tasks in front of him. It's not possible tht whole day each and every thing is done by her while u r sitting. So find what you can do and deliberately do it in front of ur husband. Like if he says tht u can't even make tea, then even if his mom has given him tea, u still make another and make him drink it. The surpriseing issue is tht you mom in law doesn't say anything but your husband does. So do everything double and make him eat it or drink it. If his mom irons a shirt he has to wear, u iron another and make him wear that. And same with other stuff. Another thing is do all the work u need to do and watch quietly what your mom in law says about it. That way it will be obvious who is the instigators. Also keep in mind that even if u do all this, chances are tht your husband will enjoy his mom's efforts for him more bcoz he's so used to it. So please keep a balanced attitude and a positive mindset.

Hi, I guess, you need to talk to your husband if your MIL is not getting what you mean to say or intentionally do not want you to get into her territory. You make your husband understand that you are more than happy to participate in the day today functioning of the home but your mother is not letting me. I think your husband will be able to put forward your point better. Also, when he is on off, then in front of him, offer to help or cook, and then see how your MIL behaves. And if that time also she will make excuses for not letting you work, your husband will not want any proof from you that you do not shy away from work and it is his mother who doesn't let you participate. And he will then handle the situation himself. Or the best is, you can divide work, for example, let MIL do morning cooking and you do evening cooking and this way you both will not be bothered by each other and can enjoy the freedom too.

Hi, I think, you talk to your husband and tell him in detail about the whole situation. Some women think that by letting go of the control, they will lose their power. Perhaps, she thinks the same way. I think, if your husband understands, ell and good, but if he doesn't then you do one thing. Enrol yourself in some class or activity, and I am pretty sure when your MIL will see you going out, she will have 100 errands that she would want you to do. Because then she would know you have to go somewhere and be on time, so she will make sure, she has work ready for you and then she would sulk also if you won't do anything unlike now. Else, I think making your husband understand the whole situation is the only best option if you have already spoken to your mother and she has given an excuse that she will manage. You can make your husband speak to your mother and let him tell her what your point is.

Women are generally controlling since they've done everything for their kids their whole life so giving up control for her is going to be very difficult. You have to be very sweet and not show impatience or that they are being unfair with you. Get your husband and his mother together and simply suggest that you want to take on responsibilities and household chores because mother is getting old. Divide the tasks infront of your husband and make sure your mother in law agrees to it. Don't say that mother in law doesn't let you work when talking about this. And in future if she again tries to take over your tasks you could talk to your husband about it and tell him that maybe she will listen to him more. Do not complain about it! You really need your husband to help you to change your mother in law's habits.

there are two ways to look at this. of course the moms have already suggested how you can tackle this. about feeling like a guest in your own home, i would say think of those women whose in laws do nothign and they have to handle everything alone. you are lucky that your MIL is taking over so many responsibilities. our complaints can never cease, so instead of feeling bad about it, utilize the free time in other ways. and if you can't spend time washing your husband's clothes, spend that time sitting and chatting with him instead.

be nice and smart about it and handle it with a bit of care. speak to your hubby of how you want to let your MIL rest now but she does not let you do anything. show your concern. ask him to tell her clearly that she can do so and so, maybe cook his favourite foods and so on, or whatever it is you decide. she should leave the rest of the chores to you. even after that if she does it, let her. if your hubby complains again, you can tell him honestly that you tried, so did he, but maybe this is what makes your MIL happy, so be it.

focus on the solution and your happiness , I moved out and we are so happy with our married lives , feeling unwelcomed in a house is the worst thing u can ever feel. you shld be feeling safe and happy and at comfort n peace with your husband. stand up for your right, that's the best self care. if u can't change other people, change the way u approach things. I know this because I been in similar situation. sending u courage vibes and please take care of your mental health. peace

aha...what a good and bad situation ;) i definitely feel you should talk about this with your MIL in front of your hubby...tell her that he feels she is old and should start getting some rest. assert yourself smartly, tell her that she can take over most of the kitchen duties, but there are some that you want to share. if she says yes, or even if she refuses, your hubby will know it all

Tell your husband to marry his mum. Gossh. Maybe you and husband should go out on a date, reminisce d old days and remind each other why you both got married in the first place. Tell him you NEED his support and understanding to make this marriage work. Not the third party. Not his mum definitely since she's the problem.

You know what, you might wanna talk to your mother-in-law. Try bonding with her, know what she likes, her fave snacks etc. Approach her like a student. Like you wanna be taught how to do this and that. Sometimes you just have to change your perspective about things and be the bigger person. Good luck!