Upset and heart brokem

Hello my dear mommy, I just had a baby and is almost 3months old too. i too stay with parents in law but of course not all situations are the same as yours but I’m sure certain times I felt same as you. Some difference between us was that I figured I might have postnatal depression, I felt depressed since day 0. Of course I wouldn’t say I was the one that sort of made myself upset and that everyone else were right and I was just crazy or sick. husband and families play a big part in our postnatal journey, when they can’t understand well enough and to be more caring and careful with me can lead me into more depressive state. Believe me, I was almost crying everyday and felt helpless. But one day I decided that all these things I need to have them communicate properly, I told my husband and family that I feel I’m having postnatal depression and that I get triggered very easily. When I opened up to get help, my loved ones will then understand how to help me. Of course I’m not saying you are just like me, but take a step back and don’t like your emotion cloud your judgement and rush into making decisions. Anyway one thing for sure is, baby always know who is their mother. They will never reject their mommy!!! So don’t feel it that way! For all the things your mil say, sometimes I get it from mine too. Then I learnt that, they probably just want to let you know they can help you and as they are also staying with you. Some people talk mindlessly, when my baby shouts… sometimes they will say the baby wants their ah ma… lol! At first I also dont like it then I slowly understood baby will know who is the mother and always closer to the mom even when you don’t take care of baby as much.

It's not only MIL, my own mother gives me alot of stress too. Don't take whatever they say to heart. After giving birth, there's alot going on, have to really shoulder on when the going gets tough. My baby was in NICU and very difficult to take care since birth till at least 8 months old. No helper, No in-laws or parents' help except for the 1st month and during some weekends. Sometimes husband is just like a big kid so after having a little one, you just have 1 BIG kid and 1 little kid to manage. You can try talking to your husband that you need help from him (not just playing with the baby). For me, I just have to constantly 'remind' him on his duties too (not just earning $$). My hubby did sound out to me that it's baby all the time and he feels neglected. So, mummy do Take Care! Your physical, mental, emotional health is important so that you have the stamina to bond and grow with your baby. It's a long journey! Have Faith. Btw, I am my baby's main caregiver but my baby simply adores daddy more, call him first too! I am perfectly fine with it too, because there are also times my little one cuddle and cling on me. So, your baby will not reject you. Don't worry, it just take time for baby to adjust to this whole new world. It will take time for you and your hubby to adapt to your new roles too. Have patience.

u will always have a special spot in baby's heart! (: I felt the same with my mil for my first born n she's also the only one who can calm him down when she carries him. so I hid in my room n bf him all day whenever he cries LOL. now with my no. 2 she is less dependent on comfort n can better self soothe, plus my mil is more busy coping with housework for the expanded family now. it's super annoying sometimes the things that they say, but on the other hand their time with ur child is limited as they are older n u may move away next time. I've also been telling myself that I need to let go cos my children will go to school etc n have other people that they will become attached to. maybe next time ur mil wants to carry ur baby then just let her but have a renewed mindset that u can also enjoy whatever u now have some free time to do (: n my husband always tell me to ignore my mil whenever she says annoying things, though I'm still finding difficulty doing it in a way that doesn't make me view her as an outsider / ignore her completely. but maybe u can try!

your not wrong actually, I don't know how it's like to be in your shoes but I'm going to be one soon. I think your husband have his personal thinking like " why don't you spend any more time with me , you only care and concern for the baby " there will be fights and ups and downs. I know your concern about your baby not drinking any milk and your afraid that your baby rejecting you for your mil...if you can , you can try to play with your baby when you come back home..your baby still smiles at you when you come back..after all you are the one who carried the baby even before it's born..so your bonding will still be closed..baby needs a lot of caring and love..afterall I don't think your wrong..but just remember to think of your baby future before walking away and lead your own life with your baby....cause this might effect the baby future..

I haven't given birth yet, but I get that babies are illogical, don't take her uncooperativeness personally. If you are worried about her not feeding at night, and she's not gaining weight, maybe can check in with the PD? It was a long and expensive journey for us to get pregnant too, I had thought the hardship and hormones will trigger us to be more like a parent-to-be by now, but we are still surprisingly chill. It may be that your hubs is still in this mode, or you have very different parenting styles (some people think babies are hardy and they'll grow up one way or other, no way is right or wrong). Maybe you can assign him some chores to get him involved? Do take some time out for yourself to grief to your friends, it's tough juggling work and a kid so must remember to destress! Jiayou!

In laws can be inconsiderate with their words. Ultimately when your child grows bigger your child will learn better from you and relationship will flourish. Give yourself and your child time. At 3 months old babies may require more work from their parents or caretaker to sooth as they have yet to have the capacity to self sooth, from 4 months onwards they'll learn better how to self sooth. Let your mil know that she can rest first while u tend to baby at night if not it will tire her. Baby may cry and wake up in the middle of the night due to gas, if so carry your child upright resting against your chest and head on your shoulder to ease the discomfort.

dont be too upset. baby will know whos the mummy when grow up. my baby was like that, even worst i keep taking care of him but he will turn away, dont let me carry him sometimes. thn the elderly will say dont like mummy. afterwards i get use to it. now he is 2 years old alr stick with me and dw them. meanwhile i always throw to them and wan some rest cause being pregnant again😆. dont worry when ur baby grow big they will know 😌 dont be too stress up

cheer up, the baby will always stick with the mother . you have bond with your baby for so many weeks. stay positive and I think sometimes don't take it to heart with in law words. sometimes I just can't be bother. for the husband well, they just don't grow up.