Overbearing mother in law

Question

My MIL is extremely overbearing and annoying. She forces her way into my room when I’m breastfeeding even when my husband repeatedly told her twice we don’t want her in the room cause she say she don’t see what’s wrong. She likes to give me a lecture on how to take care of my own baby (how I should hold the bottle, what confinement nanny I hire, how I should dress him) and keeps buying me shit I don’t need cause she thinks those things she buy (like clothes) are “better” for baby. She literally even gave me a lecture 1hr after I gave birth cause I was drinking plain water instead of red date tea in the hospital. And she also constantly turn up at my house uninvited. I hate her so much and every single thing she do irks me now. My husband knows that i am at my limit but he is obviously sandwiched between and I don’t want to make things ugly too. But she doesn’t get the hint and keeps pushing my buttons.   How do you deal with someone like her?!!!?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Since she’s not staying with you guys, it’s easier. When you breastfeed, just lock the door. When she lectures, just continue to do your own thing without responding, overtime she will get tired. If she keeps buying stuffs that you don’t need/like, throw it infront of her. It’s because she knows you won’t rebute her that’s why she’s going more and more overboard (nice to bully). Usually the husband will be sandwiched but in this situation, his role is very crucial and he should be the one standing up and be stern to his own mother. If he doesn’t control his mum, the outcome is angry mother and angry wife. I believe most dils know how to 做人, if mil don’t tackle us, we also be nice. Putting filial piety aside, once married, YOU and baby are his family/priority, not his mum. At the same time, you need to stand up and speak up for yourself too. Be blunt, be harsh if you need to. My mil used to be damn demanding until I lashed it out at her then she became tamed else she thinks I don’t have limit.