Do you pay your mil or mum if they help you during confinement?

My mil is a Malaysian, my husband is thinking of asking my mil over to Singapore to cook for me during confinement and also look after my baby. My mil is so far a nice mil, so far I have no complaints about her but maybe it’s because we don’t stay together so I don’t know what may happen if she comes over to help. My mum has work + she’s quite an absent minded person, so I don’t feel safe making her help me out. Just wondering.. If my mil were to come over all the way from Malaysia to Singapore and help me for a month, how much should I give her? My husband suggests $2000, which I felt it is a bit too much when this is my own mil. I was thinking of giving $1000 for a month of help but I’m not sure if my mum will ask to help too if she knows she can earn such money from me. Any thoughts?

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Really depends on your own financial situation. But personally i would think that the cost should be lower than confinement lady. If is about the same then i see no point paying your mil this much money for confinement. CL can do same thing but better. And will be less tiring for u and hubby. 1k or 2k is fine. My hub paid my mil about this range too. But we order confinement meal and herbal soup as well. End up the total cost doesnt seem anymuch lesser than hiring a CL and evyone become tired and i was unhappy because alot of food i shouldnt be eating during confinement yet my mil didnt know or advice. All in all no matter what amount u are paying just make sure that your mil is knowlegdeable enough to cook and teach u what to eat during confinement.

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If you start giving her $2k for confinement, will she move in after confinement and continue to collect $2k from you guys for "taking care of the house & baby" while you are away at work etc? Think twice. Sometimes it is better to hire a professional confinement lady for a month and that's it.

4y ago

Totally agree.. now no conflict better to avoid chance of conflict

VIP Member

I think 1k should be enough. You can provide her foods and other expenses allowance which is small amount. At the end of the confinement maybe u can give her an ang bao as reward.

VIP Member

It's all depends on your financial. I think 1k is good enough but if your financial condition is better of course you can give more. Furthermore she is your mil.


Depend on yourself. Suggest you to pay after confinment. Before confinement give her abit to spend. She might buy thing from her own pocket money for you too.

I think $1000 should be enough but of cause if the amount is fork out by you hubby... he wanna pass $2,000 i think is reasonable as well after all own mother

For me is my own mom doing my confinement. I gave her around 800 and I will pay for the marketing fee too. And also 2 Ang Bao for her...

Me and hub agreed to Pay $1k using our common fund. The rest my hub pay out of his own savings as he want to top more.

Pay after confinement, money in red packet. Pay mkt rate, if she doesnt want, think too much she will return you.

I think giving your parents money is deep set in our culture. Not for work they do but just as a gift.