Mother in law

Before I get pregnant, my MIL assured me that she will help tc of my baby after I gave birth. Then during my confinement, I ask her to help shower my baby, she gave me many excuses. So I shower my baby myself but during then, she keep disturbing at the side ( splashing water, tickle baby feet blah blah blah) Then she see my drizzle water on baby’s head (I was careful not to get water in baby ear and eyes) she scold me. And next day she kp say I cannot shower baby like this. So I ask her to shower instead. She gave me excuses again but still does it and tell baby “your mother make me shower you” My husband ask her to tc baby for 1 weekend so we can settle some prayer stuff in Thailand but she gave a lot of excuses again and rejected us. But eventually gave in bcos my FIL say he will take leave from work to help. Then after confinement, my husband ask her to watch over baby for 1/2 day so we can run some errands and when we went to pick baby up, she complain here pain there pain. And say she cannot tc baby overnight ask us to think of something else. So I told myself don’t bother trying to ask her. Before birth, say so loudly help tc. When the time come, it all became bs. Then recently, she keep commenting on how we handle baby. Like how we carry him, how we feed him, how we change his diaper etc. I have the urge to tell her “why u comment so much when u don’t want to tc?” But out of respect for my husband I didn’t. But I drop a lot of hint to my husband that I’m not happy with his mother. It annoy me so much that I really don’t wan to bring baby to meet her. How do I make my mother in law shut up?

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I wouldn’t bother. If she didn’t agreed in the first place then I will just suck thumb but since she did and didn’t deliver, then next time when she wants to play with LO, just take back LO and tell her “better not disturb you, later your back pain.” If she insist won’t then just tell her “sorry I don’t want to risk. I take care myself.” Whatever she say just one ear in one ear out. Soon you’ll be immuned to it. And the comment “your mother make me shower you” is very unnecessary, especially when baby starts to understand even worse. If you are showering baby, just lock the toilet door. If she got issues with you locking door then just tell her “I like to have peace and alone time with baby during shower. I need to focus on baby without disturbance also. Falling in shower very dangerous you know?”

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4mo ago

Reality is, never trust anyone who tells you to have kids and they will take care (I know it’s pointless now). As long as it’s not their own, they are free to dump the child back to you anytime. It will get better when baby is older and start STTN. For now, 咬紧牙关 to pass thru this stage, nobody is more dependable than you yourself. I rather you send IFC for now, at the very least you have a period of time to work or to yourself compared to the entire day. If your husband is not around, don’t let them show up uninvited. This is not their home. Even when your husband is around, let her handle her OWN kid while you handle yours. Don’t get annoyed by people you don’t care, spend the energy to get some inner peace for yourself. When you start to get used to the routine, everything will be much easier :). 加油。

I am a very direct person so if its me she gonna hear nasty comments. I used to dislike having kids until i changed my tots one day. So whoever had asked me to have kids i will tell them i cant bear one. Lol. But i feel not to have any expectation of anyone helping would b good. I had never expected anyone to help other than hb. Guess wif little expectation comes lesser disappointment.

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4mo ago

Yea. I always told them the same thing too. But it’s just upsetting to know she promised to help and then go back on her words. I know she’s not obligated to help but since my working hours are not fixed and my husband always not around due to work.. she assured me that she will help. Since she can’t help, I’m ok to tc on my own since I’m still on maternity leave. Just that I’ll need to plan after my leave end. Definitely won’t rely on her when the day comes.

I suggest have a straight talk with your husband to put this to stop. He should directly talk to her mom and set things right

just ignore her comments and act blur. cut down on visiting her and ask your husband to help you.