I know the Asian mentality is to not talk about it but in this case you may have to sit your family down and talk about it and then talk to your hubby and then everyone together. This is all about miscommunication that needs to be addressed. I am going to blunt with this so sorry in advance. Mums do nag but your mum needs to understand that even getting nagged at constantly gets annoying after a while, your father is being tactless and inconsiderate on the low fuel part. Your sister is honestly childish for behaving like that by blocking him and also her son behaving like a brat. When you say 15, I am guessing 15 years? By then you actually aware of things so the fact your hubby kept saying constantly to keep his volume low and he refused means consequences which your sister should understand. To your hubby, just tell him that your parents are concerned about him but also especially you. So they just want to make sure he looks after himself properly including you especially since you will be busy with your family. Also to apologise to your nephew for lashing our and said he could have handled the situation a little better but also explain why he was angry. The last is your family, let your mum know that your hubby lived alone and is not use to being told (don't use nag) what to do so instead of telling him all the time, maybe she can just ask him more as a question and not tell him as often. Tell your father that maybe if he uses the car, could he help to top up the gas, or if the car needs repair to ask your hubby the next time he does use it, does he also want him to send for repair as a thanks to your hubby letting him lend the car. Let your sis cool down and explain what happened to the situation and why your husband got angry and later bring your nephew and both of you explain that although he wanted to hang out with his uncle, he must also understand the bay was sleeping and was told constantly to keep the volume down and ask him to put himself in his uncle shoes. And have your nephew apologist to your hubby and get your sister to apologise as well. This all should be done if moving out is an issue for you now
I used to stay with my hubby's family too and my in-laws behave the same as your parents. My mil is very unreasonable, she is very rude but always think she is right just because she is elder. My fil never respect our privacy and will just open my personal letter and read it. I used to give in to them until they crossed the line. That's when my husband and I start to have issue with each other as he thought I am disrespectful to his parents and I think he does not support or stand in my shoes. Speaking from experience in your husband's shoes, moving out will be the best option. If not, one fine day it will be you and him fighting over all these small issue due to the all pressure built-up in him over the years.
Is ur house coming? How Long more are u all gg to stay with ur parents? I think it is already not easy for a man to move into the Wife's family house. I will "protect" my man since he is in my territory just like how i want him to if I'm living with his parents. I will let him know that I'm with him and I disagree with what my family has been doing
because of this, we apply sale of balance flats and is going to choose the flat in April.
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Shift out ASAP, get your own house & stay yourselves, don't stay with any family members, this is to avoid conflict. My wife and I once let my wife's Elder sister stay in our flat and she took us for granted. In the end, ask my wife to ask her to shift out and it has been peace ever since we stay ourselves again.
The issue stems from all you staying in the same house. Conflict will always arise. Is there a way for you and Husband to explore living by yourselves separately? That way you will have the freedom to be by yourself and make decisions without thinking how it will affect others.
I feel that unless your parents are very very accommodating, else it’s never a good idea to stay together. Different people have different upbringing, values and character and you can’t expect them to be ok with another person..
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I think it’s time to move out. It might be tough financially or maybe you might feel that you need your parents help. But ultimately it is best to get your own family settled and no need to involve in-laws/parents.
I would consider moving out as I would constantly be walking on eggshells thinking when would be the next triggering point. And it’s not very good for your LO’s development growing up too.
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