How to deal with MIL

Question

We are a family of 4,two young toddlers,my husband and myself. My husband works as a delivery rider while im still studying. We have bills upon bills that have yet to settle and the problem here is my MIL. You see my MIL did say in her own words that she will not disturb my husband cause hes got family to look after but she has been asking him for money every month. I get that it is also his responsibility to provide if he can for his mother but because of this responsibility,he neglect his responsibilities to his own family. My allowance for example. She will call and demand my husband to give her money,even ask my husband to ask his friends for money to borrow. She even call me asking for food.My MIL still have other childrens that can help and is able to help. She complains that shes got no money to pay for electricity,food,ezlink card etc but shes working,and both my brother in law is working too. My SIL is able to help but she choose to stay at home and not do anything and to make things worse,her boyfriend stays with them but he is also one of the main reason my MIL keeps asking for money,to provide for him. When theres money,she will spend it on expensive food and going on a shopping spree but will call my husband up when the money runs out. How do i deal with this?we have yet to settle our bills,sometimes there are no food at home and we have to sell whatever we can in the house just to survive. SSO also cannot help us cause they say my husband is able to provide for us but with my MIL high spending and demanding him for money how can he provide?i also cannot say much. Want to ask my SIL to work also cannot,she will just nod and nod but nothing will happen,its like talking to the wall.

Dawn · Answer

within limits... 1st & foremost LOs, then parents, not others... take care

Anonymous · Answer

I think sometimes you just need to be a bit more selfish. Especially when you already have your own family. I think it's best that you settle your own finances first. Pay your bills, etc. Then if you have extra to give, you can give your mil. She has to make do with whatever that she receives. Actually since she's working, she can already fend for herself. You guys should not actually give her money if you can't afford to. What else can she do other than call and ask? She can't force the money out of you if you don't have it. Please don't go to the extremes of selling things in your house just so you can get by. Bcos if you do this, your mil will know you guys will always find a way to get money, and the cycle never stops. You guys will be tired, and both of you will start arguing bcos of the lack of money. Your husband has to be firm with her and put a stop to this, or like the other commenter said, set a limit.