Diane Braberry profile icon
GoldGold

Diane Braberry, United States

Contributor

About Diane Braberry

Nursing Mum Of 2. My hubby counts.

My Orders
Posts(30)
Replies(148)
Articles(0)

I am a nurse and I lost my job and I am pregnant. And now, I can’t find a suitable job elsewhere

2 days after finding out I was pregnant, which I was ecstatic at the news as me and my husband was trying for a year, I was told I had to change my job or quit. The news hit like a bomb to me, never would I have thought I had to make a decision so big after finding out I was pregnant. I had a limited time to think and even when I tried to change my job to another area, I was told I had to do shift work. But I couldn’t. My husband did 12 hour shifts at work leaving me the main care giver of our 3 year old daughter. In a few hours I had to make the decision to resign and look for work elsewhere. I tried to be strong and looked for jobs actively after that and being a nurse, it was easy to find a new job. But I was wrong… All I was met was discrimination on the highest level. What I thought was an industry that understood my plight made me quickly learn that no one wanted me base on my “situation”, although they used nicer terms on why they couldn’t hire me, it was the same reason I knew. I manage to land a part time job (which I hated) and was also put in another part time job in an admin position. Yet I also faced the same issues as before as the job I hated wanted all the perks of a full timer but none of the responsibilities of one. I’m still in my early trimester fighting nausea, aversion to food and just the the fatigue all while my husband is taking extra hours in another work to make extra for my maternity leave and future hospital bills but at the cost of not seeing him more often and me having to deal with a 3 year with no concept of mummy being “sick” or “very tired” Today was my breaking point, while my daughter shoved her hands and splattered her bowl or soup around her table and was taking lunch seriously and proceeded to jump on our bed dirty, I yelled at her only for my husband to shout at me what was wrong with me… I was done with all of it…. Done with not having a proper job, done of people taking advantage of me and I can’t do anything about it, having my husband not be around more as I need him more now, having him spoil our daughter because he does not see her a lot, having my daughter jump all over me and having to look after her and take it, having no control over my own body to stop the giddiness I constantly have, looking at food and immediately thinking I want to puke and having so little support in all of it. My pregnancy which was suppose to be a blessing made me feel it is a curse and I want to get rid of my child now while it is not too late. I sound awful and I feel awful but now I just can’t go on like this anymore. I at my lowest and I don’t know what to do…

Read more
 profile icon
Write a reply

I am finally getting a House and away from my Nmum. #raisedbynarcissists

Coming to the end of last year, I realized and broke down when i came to terms with my mum being a narcissistic parent. My sister has since cut contact with her. I hope in future I can do that as well. Everyone thought my mother was any typical Asian mum including my hubby. So no one wondered why me and my sister would get depression just that we were being entitled. Why it was so simple for my mum to influence us in decision making. Why our views on men were... Distorted. After a while with social media, we knew our mother way of thinking was different and with my fiancé (now hubby) living with us, did he see what we meant. The toxic environment, you do not have a right to a different opinion, decision making is only by this one individual and if you choose something else will throw tantrum and give silent treatments. All this came to head when my daughter was born, my mum tries to overshadow my decisions for my daughter and even threw a hissy fit when I wanted to place my daughter in infantcare. Now she tries to cause fights to no avail as me and my hubby just agree or say okay but will do something else. Finally we got a house and will start renovations, once done, we will move out of this hell hole and be away from her. Hopefully at some point, cut contact. Yes this sounds harsh and yes people have said I should owe my parents since they gave you a good life. Well.... If you count being manipulative, gas lighting, delusional, scapegoating us, saying you should hang out with fat people for being too fat or should not hang out with Muslim people because they terrorist and deserve to all die and calling your Punjabi hubby a low class citizen and Indian derogatory terms to you good parenting... Then please explain how is that good parenting... Semi good news and raging my thoughts

Read more
 profile icon
Write a reply

Breastfeeding baby health issues (My realization of how much my soon to be hubby loves me)

So... I was admitted to the hospital for electrolyte imbalance and some postnatal depression few weeks ago. Although the postnatal depression I am keeping under control, my electrolyte imbalance has started to affect my life. There are days I get giddy and have headaches because of not drinking enough fluids paired with having sleepless nights due to my baby's sleep regression. It came to a point i have shortness of Breath and have to do everything to calm myself down and not have a panic attack and try to get water and food into me. Essentially if I really cannot eat I would just skip dinner and sleep the rest of the night due to exhaustion. This has caused major concerns for my family especially my partner. We do always talk about having a second kid, a boy. We have a girl now left the boy but if we have another girl then it's okay. Still a blessing. Today, my partner told me that maybe I shouldn't have a second kid. He said he was worried for my health and safety if I have a second child and if I already have depression and health issues with the 1st, then what about the 2nd could be worst. It hurt because we always wanted a 2nd child but I did understand his concern. My partner comes from a traditional Indian family in punjab so I always having a lot of kids would be what he wants so I was definitely shocked when he wanted only 2 but he said financially in Singapore it is hard so I get that. But even though his reasoning for not having a 2nd child hurt because I felt I couldn't provide but I felt my partner would give up that dream if it meant I be okay. In his words when I said is it okay? He said "I rather have just our little girl than have a 2nd child and risk your health and I can't live without you. You and our daughter are my life now, I cannot lose any of you". I told him I be okay and I will make myself better for our 2nd one but the fact he said that brought me to tears knowing my soon to husband still has my back. Sometimes we take our partners for granted and I definitely know I have at times. As mums we always put our kids first and our spouses last. But always remember who is there by your side giving you support and understands you are tired to show them love or just let's you vent your anger. You do not also have to be married to have this experience, if you have a partner who supports and adores you and loves your kids, that is your partner for life. Show your partner some love today just to let them know they are special to you as we do not show it enough.

Read more
Super Mum
 profile icon
Write a reply