stress

I'm 36 weeks pregnant . Edd on 21 aug . There are alot of things happening and I cant stop thinking about it . My f.i.l is in a bad condition and dont think he can survive long . My husband gotta busy settle him . His mom is always busy working or either she doesn't want to come home instead of staying out walking around just to come back late . Isn't it suppose to be the wife who settle the husband things and look after her own husband . Isn't my own husband suppose to be looking after his wife . We are not staying together cause our house is not ready . Only sometimes I stay at his house and sometimes he stays at my house . But cause his father is in bad shape and now he is in hospital he said he cant stay over my house he got to be home . What if I'm going to give birth alrdy and he need to busy settle his father cause his mother always leave everything to him . And I need go in labour give birth myself . I am scared . What if his father is gone and his mother keep following Nd sticking around us . Or when new house is up she say she want to stay with us . I am those type who cant live with in laws and I want to still enjoy the small family circle where it's only me n my kids n my husband staying together . We made an agreement long ago tt his mother only move in when she need ppl to look after her alrdy . But now what he said is different. He said when his mother stay alone she will move in with us alrdy than old house can rent out for money . The thing is his mom is inconsiderate type and is not auto those type. When we go dating go for movie we nv ask her along she scold us say why nv jio her . I said we dating why u want follow . She say how old alrdy still dating . I dun think I can live happily if she move in stay with me. N my husband is very close to her . But why would he be scared whether she is lonely when she all the while is living the life like tt . Got husband but dunwan go home see him . We are married we start our new life . I feel she is putting her misery into ours cause her love life is not as good as mine . I dunno what to do but to keep thinking of what's going to happen in future .

Feli

Preggers

3 Replies

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Maybe you should find a softer approach when you address the issue with him. It’s a sensitive time for both of you and the matter is very delicate. Your husband sounds like he enjoys his family’s company and I empathise with you. My husband is also very close to his family and as the only child his mother especially clings onto him and can be tactless towards me sometimes. I’m close to my family but I really enjoy my personal space and I prefer having the freedom to cultivate my family unit without the influence of any of our parents. To me, that’s the crux of being an adult, to be more independent and less reliant on your ageing parents. I realise it needs to be a compromise. I can’t only think about having my way but there are also moments when I have to put my foot down especially with an incoming baby. Your MIL will only think of her relationship with her son but your husband needs to be fair in his relationship with both you and his parents. It’s not an option for him to only prioritise his wife and you have to make peace with that in order to come up with a good solution. Whenever you feel like your feelings are not taken into consideration, let him know from a place of love. “I understand that with ____ and _____, you need to do ____ but when it comes to ____, I don’t like it. I need you to tell me what you are willing to do about it and where’s your capacity at. I can support you on _____, we can make arrangements for ______.” Not in those exact words but whichever way is organic for both of you. He needs to feel that you care about what he’s going through and here’s the kicker, what his parents are going through, in order for him to feel motivated to put more thought into what you’re going through. In the meantime, have faith that you also have the capacity to do this despite the challenges that comes with pregnancy. There’s definitely a lot of worries and anxieties but take it one day at a time. Prioritise your journey and transformation and take good care of yourself to the best of your ability. It’s okay to lose patience from time to time but always remember that it’s temporary and things will get better.

Must communicate with your hubby and let him know your worry.

Feli

Preggers

5y ago

I did but he take things very lightly . N he is very close to his mother. N end up I become the bad person . He will keep say dun put him in the middle . So m I suppose to tolerate everything until I grow old ,until his mom is gone than I get to enjoy my own family time alone 😔

VIP Member

u need to talk to ur husband about it...

Feli

Preggers

5y ago

Well I talked to to him about it alot of times but he always takes things very lightly and likes to brush things off . He is very close to his mother . But everytime when I talk about all this I will become like the bad person .

Home Just Mums im 36 weeks pregnant edd 21 aug there alot things happening i cant stop