I am 29 years old with a 1 year old kid. The problem is that I put on upto 22 kgs during pregnancy and haven't lost much weight ever since. My husband earlier used to comment and urge me to join a gym etc, but now he has even stopped that. Obviously he finds me unattractive and is not turned on by me. we have hardly had any sex since the birth of our kid and recently my husband has shifted into the spare bedroom. I too don't feel like dressing up or going out. I feel like my marriage will end soon. What do I do?

I would stress on the fact that for a marriage to work communication is the key but at the same time would not deny that sex is also as important. For you, when you know what is not working in your marriage, why don't you work upon it? Why are you giving up? I think, you have become too comfortable with the way you are and do not want to do any effort. You have just become lazy, else why would you not want to work towards making things fine? You are just 29, and have such a cute little member in your home and a husband, what else can anyone ask to feel motivated to live life to the fullest. Do not be mean to yourself in the first place. If you yourself feel you are over weight, then join gym, do dieting, exercise and be your fit self. Go out, have a makeover, get a new wardrobe and look good primarily for yourself. As your kid will grow, he too would want his mother to look good and smart. Same way as you would want your kid to look good, healthy and cute. So, it is unfair on your part if you think that if your husband is expecting all this from you then it is not done. And start communicating with your husband. Make plans to go out. Go out from movies, picnics, talk more and more. Ask him his concerns, try to get into his heart as what all things bother him. Talk to him and tell him that you love him and would want things to be happy between both of you and what you expect from him and ask what he expects from you.

dear Renu, sorry to put it this way, but if you already feel your marriage will end, then it probably will. unless you take any steps to help it that is... many times, we feel our partners are vain when they want us to look fit and nice, but what is wrong in that? don't we also like to see someone who is fit and well turned out? i can understnad you are a busy mom, but you can surely get time for yourself to do some basic things to get fitter and lose weight. if you cant join a gym, start doing things at home. there are many many workouts you can do at home. just go online and take a look. and yes, you have to love yourself and only then will you get your confidence back. so please dear, don't give up.

all you need to do is get up, take some control of your life and work towards it. if you sit and keep thinking of how your marriage is going to fall apart because of your excess weight, then unfortunately, no one can help you. i have lost 27 kgs in 2 years of my second baby's birth, and all through natural and easy ways. please understand that you do not have to make a drastic change in life or slog yourself off in the gym to get fit. just concentrate on some form of daily exercise, a healthy and disciplined eating routine, good sleep and lots of water and also as less stress as possible. once you make these changes, you'll start losing weight and be able to maintain it as well.

Pls take things seriously and approach it step wise.. .firstly..talk to him. Join a gym...workout for a healthy lifestyle not a fancy body...when u workout, u will have the good hormones running thru ur system that will elevate ur mood and keep u happy. Dress well even at home. Keep a maid esp so that u have time to spend with ur husband. Dine with him each time. Ensure that all of the baby's stuff is over and asleep by the time husband comes home. Do all in ur power to educate yourself to save this relationship. When ur husband sees the effort, he will reciprocate. Just remember to ask him to be a little patient with u and to give u a little time and support...

You know everything then why not work on it instead of pitying yourself? Start taking care of your body, not just to please your husband, but to be more confident and also keep health issues at bay. Consult a dietitian and have a proper diet. Enroll in a gym or yoga class. You will feel emotionally much better too. You will feel confident about your body and will feel like dressing up again! Also, marriage is more than a body or sex!

at 29 you can still lose the extra weight you gained. i will say that you start by monitoring your diet. here are a few things you should follow: 1. cut out all forms of sweets and fried foods 2. reduce or cut down carbs such as rice, roti and bread 3. do basic exercises such as planks, squats, lunges, crunches 4. do skipping 5. run or jog 6. join a gym if you can 7. drink lots of water

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