Sex life affected?

Question

After our 1st born, our lives have greatly changed and our emotions as well. There are alot of ups and downs. Now my 1st born is 2 years old. My sex appetite seems to reduce greatly and often cant reach orgasm, just doing for the sake. We have been taking care of baby ourselves, my husband is a very hands on dad however our finance dipped greatly and I am the one paying for the house with cpf money that are from when I used to work. We both stopped paying insurance too. Husband pays for meals, utilities and his car. Groceries half half. I am living on money from my own savings but have since wiped out after I left my job to care for my boy 1 year ago..currently living on money from my parents. I am looking for a full time job again  after disconnecting from the working society 1 year but honestly I am quite sian to go back to work as most of the companies and ppl i met are hypocrites and bad bosses. Few and far between will I meet good colleagues and boss. I am thinking of doing my own business but not sure where to start. Husband only do part time work now. He vented on me before by shouting say finance is the greatest problem however I already helped him by letting him use my cpf.. As a mom now I find the need to have to take care of a young toddler and hard to go back to full time job. My boy just started school 1 month ago and still resist school. Also my boy is sick and of course we did not let him go school for 1 week already. If I am working full time how do I take 1 week leave in this instance? Husband has always been a free lancer doing reno projects. However he does not have projects for 2 years already. Told him to do something else he only does part time work. Tired of talking already. I even keep dreaming of a new partner. I still love my husband, I want a 2nd kid too but I feel now when both of us are alone when kid is in school, we have nothing much to talk. We dont have dates anymore too after my 1st born. Also due to covid lockdown and restrictions, previously cant dine out much and also since covid cant travel. Wanted to do a family staycation but didnt happen in the end(as staycations also not cheap for our tight finance). We also cant leave our boy with our parents as he just only want to be with us. Recently I always cant reach orgasm when he foreplay and my clit hurts which makes me feel like crying inside as I cant reach orgasm. I always ended up says I dont want to have orgasm but actually I want just no mood and dont feel comfortable etc. What should I do?

EL W · Answer

Hugs. Make effort to spend quality time together doesn’t have to spend big money like going staycay. Can be in small things like spending time holding hands walking to buy groceries, walking in the park, making special breakfast for him or vice versa. Will be helpful to understand what each of your love languages are: https://amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-5-love-languages-explained Once you both reconnect back romantically (not just sex) in terms of fulfilling one another’s love tank, I believe sex and orgasm will come much easier because of the foundation of love in your marriage is rebuilt. It can get challenging with a kid in tow now but to have a strong marriage and blessed family for your child, the relationship that matters most is still the one between you and husband. Don’t neglect it. Finance wise hope you both can also work something out. Take care!