When I am 18 yr old I found pregnant. Is too late to know, already 5.5 month old. Have to keen the baby. Den I married to the kids father. Actually everything is ok. My husband always listen to what i say. Cos he and his mum relationship is not good. Seldom talk. But one day his mum asked me how to talk to his son. And understand . I told her how his feel. And his mum changed try to understand him n give him what he want if she can give. But slowly my husband less talk with me. N start talk more to his mum. And slowly me n my husband relationship is getting bad and bad. Always quarrel. Till the limit he hit me on my head have a lot blood. Went to hospital. He cry~ and say sorry to me. I not sure is cry for dun report him to police or he really feel he is in wrong. My heart is soft. I lie to police I own self fall down. I discharge from hospital. Went back to MIL house. Cos I'm staying there. His mum started talking to me. And say his son beat me is good. Who ask me to make him angry and those hurt word to me. I almost feel mad if continue staying there. I moved back to my mum house and he moved with me. My bro let his room to me. And he share with mum. Actually everything is good. Less quarrel. My husband start to care of me. But slowly. My son turning 1yr old. His mum request every Friday night stay her house till Sunday night. I agree . cos I know they miss him. At first my son super close to me and my mum. After that he went back from MIL house. He become dun want me n my mum. Still hit us for nothing. Keep finding my husband. I feel something wrong. In between monday-_ Thursday I try to win him back. My son den tell me say 奶奶 say I'm a bad mother and say my house house not good too. How can a 奶奶 teach a kids this?!! I told my husband he dun believe me! He say I think too much. One day I let my son own self say. My husband hear. But he doesn't care. After that we quarrel again. Quarrel almost a year. July 2015 found pregnant again. Slowly know is a girl. I wanted to keen. Cos almost 99℅ father like daughter the most. April 2016 give birth. From the start knowing is girl. My husband start to be good to me. Buy me good food to eat. Bring me to beach walk. I'm pregnancy for 7 month. He say his mum wan baby girl to stay with her. Say she want to be close to baby girl. How can it be like this! I'm the mother should be me to close with baby girl. After that I n my husband quarrel again. He shout at me den dun give birth. If wan give birth I own self feed her. Dun use his any cert. I cry almost the whole night. He pushed me. My stomach feel very very pain like hell. But no blood. My mum bring me to kkh to check up. When I otw I told my baby girl. Pls her dun leave me. I need her. After that my stomach not pain at all. I'm still worry. Is it gone? Doctor checked the baby. Say baby is fine. I hear the heart beat. I finally cool down my self. " thank god!" I went home. My husband at my room. He say how is the baby. I feel happy cos I tot he still caring. I replied say fine. Den he went to kitchen call his mum say baby is fine. His mum just want the baby! His mum still tell my husband. This women dun want. Can find a better one. Say kids they take. Say she got money can feed 2 kids. F! How a mother teach his son this?! One day my husband take a off day went out with his friend for the whole day till the next month. He started talking to me. Say his friend told him. If he want to listen to his mum. Den y at first do wrong thing to make a girl pregnant. If u dun love the girl why still married. His friend told him. "If I'm a bad girl like that his mum say. I already run away. Why still care how u feel?" My husband say he think carefully already. No matter what his mum say he also won't leave me. Slowly we moved to a rental flat. Just opps his mum house. I thinking confirm will quarrel again. I'm trying my best to let his mum accept me. But since from the start she already dun like me. Maybe cos they from China different thinking? Can anyone till me should I continue this relationship? His mum say if divorce 2 kids must give to father. As his mum is rich. But I need the kids. What should I do? I'm only 21yr old. My husband is 22 yr old...

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Hi, I think, first and foremost, apply for Personal Protection Order. And I think your MIL has some other designs because if she really wanted all good, she would not have behaved the way she is behaving. And why on Earth does she want your baby? And how come your husband is ready for whatever nonsense his mother is saying? I think, the best for you is to leave him. I know it is a big step and you must be having inhibitions about how will you manage with two kids, but trust that you will anyway be better off with your kids minus your husband. Your husband is 21 and I think he is too immature to handle the responsibility of you. Because if it wasn't so, he would not have given each time to what is mother says. He doesn't have a developed mind to make up between right and wrong. And if he has the capability to understand that you are right, then all his senses go to drain when his mother tutor him. He comes in his mother's talks and he then loses the sense of right and wrong. I think, if you will continue with him then the process of his feeling bad and saying sorry and then again hitting you and behaving irrationally will be an ongoing thing. You will have to live with his mother and his eccentricities. I do not think, you should do this to yourself and your kids as well. Your MIL has a wicked mind and that thought will affect your children too if you continue with this marriage. I suggest, be bold, be strong, have faith in yourself and the power above and set yourself away from this marriage and live a life of peace and dignity. There is no law that can separate a mother from the child, so do not give in to the harassment of your husband and MIL that they will take the kids away or you will have to. Seek help from government bodies and you will do good. Good Luck!

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Hey Erin, I'm a single mother myself - I'm the same age as you are, and also got pregnant at 18 - so I guess I really felt the need to reply to this. In my situation, I didn't have to go through what you did because my son's father wasn't keen on keeping him at all - so I took the "shortcut" and saved myself all that trouble, and just raised my son with my parents. But for yours, I really hope that you'd find the courage and self-respect inside you to leave the house as soon as you can - because that environment isn't good for you or your children. I know it's scary and hard to take that step, but please protect yourself and your children! Fight back and stand up for yourself, get personal protection orders and seek help from social workers or family service centres - you would probably also have to get some form of a job yourself while putting your kids at childcare to ensure you're able to take good care of your children - if the need of custody issues ever arises. Please don't allow yourself and your kids to go through this, being a single parent can be hard - but you don't need a mother and father to raise a child, you just need to teach them the right values. Not just for your own safety and sanity, but also for the sake of your children because they'll be growing up in this environment watching you quarrel with your husband and MIL. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need help, I'd try to help in whatever way I can!

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3y ago

and if you put your child in childcare pls dont let the grandma and father know which childcare. you wont know one day they sui sui fetch your son without informing you.

Hello Erin, pardon for me for being blunt. The looks of it, you are both very young parents. I think the younger the parents are, I somehow personally feel that your parents or parents in law tend to want to intervene and tell you what to do as they feel you two might not be up to it. (1) Personal Protection Order, go make a police report if your husband physically abuses you. Man who hit woman are not gentleman and this habit will NEVER ever change. I been through that myself and suffered bruises and slaps and injured backs. Thank goodness I made reports and took photos of my injuries. These are all behind me now. I am happily remarried and have a beautiful baby girl with my loving hubby. (2) Mothers-in-law are never easy. They are judgmental creatures just like ourselves. Your hubby needs to play middleman and not take his mom side because you have a family unit of your own now. Less meeting with your mil will be best. Draw the line and make sure you have time with your own kids. Best is that you are present when your son is at her place. How can you respect an elderly grandma who feeds bad thoughts into grandson's mind? (3) both you and hubby jointly visit a trained counsellor and get expert advice at family matters. Take care.

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You have the most terrible mil on earth. From what you've described your husband tends to listen to others rather than have his own mindset. You need to ask him what does he really want and he need to make his decision on the spot. If you are not his answer then divorce him, it's the 21st century now, moms win the children custody. Tell your mil that her brain should stop being so stupid. No reason for a woman to give birth for nothing, you need to fight for your kids no matter what. And make a police report, apply for PPO (personal protection order) meaning that your husband cannot lay another finger on you. If anything happens to you even if he's not to blame(like scrap your knee, or teeny injury somewhere) the police will get to him first. Dont forgive him just because he was nice at some point, you dont owe him anything! Be brave, and strong mummy! 💪

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My mil did the same to me. She ask my husband to divorce with me and get a Vietnam Wife who can give birth to baby boy after I give him two girls. What I did is i insist of moving out of my in-laws house and into our own house. I told my husband if my pils can't respect me and my family, we are not going to meet. There was once my girl call me "bad" Mommy and said she don't want to listen to me as all my words are rubbish because that what her Grandparents said. I ban them from seeing my girl. My hubby does quarrel with me too so I put him in my shoe as as what will he feel if that is what his Mother go through or our girl encounter in the future and ask him to decide himself. Ask your husband how would he feel if his dad beat up his Mother and why is he doing that to you.

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Yes, true. Be firm towards anyone including urself. I knew ur sympathy n kindness are too strong, but sometimes u gotta prove them that u can be independent. never let a guy lay hand on u. Eventhough u truly love him, u gotta accept the facts that something we love, doesnt mean we can get it keep it. human come & go. for my opinion, he is not afraid of his mum, but he can make that as a excuses while the truth is, he doesnt love u more than his demons. even if divorce, doesnt mean u guise cant takecare of the child alternately. if her mum keep n dont wanna send ur child to u back, definitely u can go for MSW/CPO/BPO. as long the custody is under ur name, definitely ull still win. stay strong babe!

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You’re only 21, are you sure you wanna live with this man and tolerate this kinda mil for the next 60 years? Anyway just wanna tell you that if your kids are young, the care and control of them will definitely go to you, just that you will have shared custody. Both of you will be the parents just that your children will stay with you. He will probably get to meet your kids once a week and you can’t stop that, but they can’t take the kids away from you. Please educate your mil since she’s from China so she might not know the Singapore law and laugh at her for thinking she can use the kids to threaten you and try to snatch away from you.

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from now on, 1. everytime he abuses you, you take picture of the wound. report police must speak of the TRUTH. You can choose not to charge him but in future if you want your kids's custody it will come in handy. 2. your child is your child. Your child's granny cannot request your baby to put at her home. She is a child, she needs her mom, not her granny. And she definitely not a toy for your mil to fill her emptiness. 3. you need to toughen up for your kids. that useless husband can pls divorce him pls?

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First of all, Don't let AGE be a factor between you and your husband relationshio. Since he can be abusive to you, what more can he do towards your kids esp when kids gets naughty and stubborn as they gets older. I would recommend you to get a Personal Protection order for yourself and your kods. With that, if divorce were to come in, you would have higher chance of custody.

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No one needs to tolerate any form of abuse, emotional, mental or physical. You need to stand your ground and respect yourself. If you dont make your decisions nothing can help you get out of the pit. Age should not be an issue or excuse. Anyways, i would apply for a personal protection order. Subsequently, leave him. For the safety of you and your child.

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