Weekends are meant for family day, to look forward to. For me, I do not. As much as I want it to be happy, I'm not. Hubby always throws tantrum on weekends cus he jus want to slp, have peace, kids well behaved. But life is never perfect. I am tired. I wake up many times at night feeding my newborn, attending to him, while he sttn with my toddler. Yet he always shows a blackface, shouts, ignore me, rude to me, shout at my toddler when he misbehaves instead of talking nicely. On weekdays he works so I do not even expect him to help me with anything at night and let him slp. On weekends, when we go out, he just wants to faster go home n slp. And when toddler misbehaves he gets into a very nasty mood which last the whole day, sometimes it spans thru 2 weekends. Tat includes cold wars ignorance rudeness n tantrum throwing n blackface. When we finally reach hm, he scolds toddler to slp. Toddler doesn't. Toddler took quite some time to slp. He shouted. Toddler cried. I consoled toddler while attending to my newborn and told toddler in a nice manner to take a nap. He nap thereafter. Toddler n him finally sleeps. Or I shud say toddler finally sleeps since the hubby had alr slept and turn his back away ignoring us since the shouting episode. Baby cries I attended. Fed, changed diaper, cried, sooth to slp, still doesn't. Baby cried loudly but the man still asleep. I have yet to even close my eyes for barely 5mins. But there was Facebook log in and whatsapp last seen. He was awake. Didnt bother to help. Layed in bed. I cried. Why? Why can't I have jus a little help? It feels so lonely that I'm alone managing a newborn while the man happily sleeps his afternoon away and still complain he's tired. I've seen so many husbands of my friends being so nice, so patient so tolerant. Why isit that I always have to be walking on mines everyday and ensure that everytime is perfect? I'm so tired and sad. Are all husbands like this?

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Hi big hugs to you! It really is not easy for any mommy. And I may be wrong but majority of the men are like your husband, selfish and lazy to help out. Their notion of helping out is to play with the baby only as if baby is a toy. Have you told him about all your frustrations? Tell him how unhappy you are and that this cannot continue. You must make him understand this is very serious and he needs to improve. They will t change completely I can tell you that. They can only enhance their behaviour. If he doesn't help out then the very least is he should not show black face and throw tantrum. I also think my friends' husbands are very nice very domesticated helping out with housework. My husband used to sleep until lunch time on his off days and did not bother to help me with baby. I had many quarrels and talks with him. He even sneaked out to catch movie with his friends when I was doing confinement. But I can say after several communications and of course me throwing fits of anger at times he has become better but still need constant reminder at times. It depends if your husband want to listen and compromise. You will really need to show him his behaviour is affecting you very badly. Take care

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Big hugs. My husband is like that too. He just scolds and hits when he is irritated, he doesn't show understanding of the kids' behaviours, and he plans around himself and not the kids. Also, he doesn't help me. He works restaurant shifts, so he gets his rest days on his off days. I work regular hours during the weekdays so my only off days are weekends, and it's spent looking after the kids myself (because my only in-laws are also men, and behave the same way!). It gets tiring, and I've gone into depressive episodes because of this. Now I try to psycho myself that, there's no point holding grudges with people like that. I try my best to do what's right, and I keep the kids closer to me. If he keeps up this behaviour, in future he cannot question the kids' reactions to him. He has to learn the consequences the hard way. By the way, no point comparing husbands and feeling envious, because our husbands are not going to change. But we can change ourselves, so just do your best within your means, and ignore your husband's childish behaviours. Meanwhile, rant to destress, or join a Mummy support group such as Mindful Mums. You can PM me also if you like. Big hugs!

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I feel really angry just reading your post. it seems to me that you have 3 kids instead of only 2. and no other help. Your husband is acting like a child. Is he the only one working and bringing the bread home? Men. Sometimes, they think that all they need to do is bring the money home. Everything else, women do. So they feel they deserve their sleep and rest. What does he work as? I personally was a sahm for 10months then i became a ftwm. Work is alot more relaxing than staying at home. so why does he need to rest more than you? Taking care of 1 is tiring enough. Taking care of 2, with no help? Exhausting. Do you think you deserve this kind of treatment. It is not healthy for you, mentally, physically and emotionally. You should not need to tiptoe around him. You dont owe him anything. Ask him to grow up. The world does not revolve around him. Remind him of his marriage vows. 🤨

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Sadly that is the traditional man role, that is the norm during our mother's time too. With the above said, it does not meant he is right. Is just that he has not catch up with time. This is more true if you are the designated housewife. Man go to work and earn money and woman take care of family. That is why during divorce woman can claim matrimonial assets because of this provider and dependent relationship. Are you working too? If so talk to him about each other roles and responsibility. If you aren't working >.< Still talking to him but say you need help with your current designated responsibility. Maybe consider hiring a maid to lighten the load.

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I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. That is why i always hated weekends. Husband is constantly screaming at the kids. complaining at every single thing. I always wanted to go out during weekends without my husband. As much as i have tried making peace between him, a simple lunch outing we can already be arguing non stop. Pretty stressful to be around him. What we can do is just ignore. Don't bother having any family bonding weekends. Even my boys now refuse to go near daddy or look for daddy when they want to go out cause they know it's impossible with daddy. Look on the bright side mummy. At least you have ur toddler with you :)

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Hugs to you! THe husband of your friends may not be as patient as it seems. What happens in their house, may not reflect what they show outside. Have you talked to your husband why he is feeling so tired and stressed on weekends? Maybe its work that has gotten in to him. Have you checked whether you can get some help on weekends? Like babysitters or family members to help you out for a couple of hours. Why don't you plan some nice dinner just the two of you? Get some support from friends and family members. You also need to rest mama.

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Thanks mummies... This is not the first time actually.. talked to him abt it before many times but it seems like everything just falls back to square one. For example jus now i was eating sth so I requested for his help to change baby's diaper. He did. After much "coaxing". But unfortunately baby pooed a mess. He was unhappy. Again. Said it's troublesome. Come on, who says taking care of a baby is easy peasy?? Baby's a human not a robot. Mess happens. Sigh.

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I just wish to add that I hope that daddies who are in this group can share what are their difficulties that prevent them from helping. A little suggestion from me - leave your kids with him and go out and have fun by yourself. If words don't work, let your actions do the talking. Let him handle the kids by himself, and hopefully he'll understand how difficult it is for only 1 parent to do it.

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This is your 2nd child with your hb right? Was he like this for your first born ? I think he is too pampered and something Must he done . If I'm u , I'll try talking to him, if it doesn't work, I'll make sure he can't rest if I dun get to rest by letting toddler n baby cry until he gets irritated n try to resolve. Heart pain for the 2 children but I think he need to be taught a lesson.

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6y ago

I did that. but things got worst. he got more frustrated with the cries and even more bad temper...and I dun want my babies to cry..newborn cry too much air goes in, toddler cries too much cough n vomit. sigh.

No, all husbands are not same. My hubby is very patient n a very good dad for his daughter.. he always try to help me from d day our lil angel came into our life. Even he cares on weekdays as well after back from office & even more on weekends.. n let me rest.. he gives her bath, changes diapers, changing clothes & oil massage as well...

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