New Daddy's Woes!

My wife just gave birth one month ago and I feel like I don't have a life anymore! I want my guys' night out and soccer time with my buddies. Everything is about the baby now. Is this it for me? How do I tell my wife I need some me time without upsetting her?

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You have vowed to take good care of her mannnnn. She gave you the trust to take good care of her. This is the crucial period whr she needs you the most. To help care for the newborn. She has given her ALL to give birth to your child myyyy goooddneeessss. Your care for her wont even repay her deeds. If she cn she also wanna go play with her friends lah. Cn you not be selfish and stand by her? New daddy woes. How bout new mummy woes? She's in pain duude. She freaking NEEDS to heal physically and emotionally. Get her cured first. That is your responsibility. Not jz happy making baby and let her handle everything. Every lil thing that you do will mean aloot to her. And dont expect her to show happy gleaming face when you did her a favour. She's gleaming inside if you don't see it. She is tired. Her BODY and MIND is TIRED. Pls have mercy and give her time to heal fully. It's not favour btw. It's responsibility. Caring for one another. Guys nite out???! Are you freaking serious? You're a dad and a husband now... I pity your wife seriously. And this is only freaking a mth ago and you say you dont have a life. Pfft! And this is only a pregnancy and you cnnt handle this. My gaaaaaaaawwwddddddd. If your wife knows this how is she gonna trust her future with you. Headache lah! Any not married guys out thr if you're like this pls dont destroy another girl's future pls. Pls dont get married, dont get any girl pregnnt. Let a REAL MAN love and respect her for good and bad pls.

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1y ago

That's Awesome! Good job 👍🏻

Tell her the truth, talk to her with sincerity. And, when u leave ur wife and ur new born baby, be sure to get back home as soon as you can. Call to check in. She loves you but as much as she chose u, her body just went through big changes for the family. So, be considerate. Everyone needs a bit of me time, she does too. The next time, you should arrange for her, a girls night out or something, and you take turn in taking care of your baby. That would help both of you immensely. Congratulation, you r now a new father. Don’t be afraid of responsibility, it might open your heart to something bigger than yourself. As much as u want ur me time. Be supportive, choose your friends wisely, if they are those who encourage you not to go home or call u names for not going out. Rain check bro. These are not supportive friends. Ditch them. They’ll cost you, your family in long run. As for talking to your wife, be nice, be gentle and be truthful. Understand this, if she’s new at this, she is probably scared and need your support the most.

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Minsan lang maging baby ang bata. Mag pigil ka muna sa ibang bagay, spend more time with your wife and child. Pag lumaki na sya isama mo sa paglalaro para bonding. Ngayon kasi as much as possible maganda na natutulungan mo sa lahat ng bagay yung asawa mo. She neesds help, support and all the love you can give. Mahirap maging nanay lalo na kung breastfeed yung baby mo. Anjan na mananakit yung katawan ng asawa mo kakabuhat. Sasakit yung dede nya kaka suso ng anak nyo. Pero kinakaya nya para sa bata. Imagine, sya ang nagdala sa anak nyo ng 9 months, nung niluwal nya yung anak nyo pinakipag sapalaran nya yung buhay nya dahil merong mga babae na namamatay sa panganganak ah. Wala na syang time sa ibang bagay bukod sa anak nyo, kahit gustuhin nya na mag enjoy lumabas, manood ng sine, kumain o magpa parlor hindi nya magawa kasi may bata syang iniisip. Sana ikaw din bilang tatay mag sakripisyo ka. Yes kailangan mo ng time para sa sarili mo, pero isipin mo yung asawa mo na mas hindi magawa yung mga gusto nya dahil sa anak nyo. Anyway a kid is a blessing 😊

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2y ago

............

shocking replies, this question isnt about his wife, its about him. i am sure he is a great father and spend time with his wife and helps out everyway possible. unfortunately, women have no choice they need to be with their newborn as they have to feed them every hour or so, which makes it harder for us men. speak to your wife and let her know your feelings, dont hold onto them and then head out, it will make things worse. i balance between helping out where i can, to allow her time to rest between feeding and then go the go out to catch a break. she knows that by me havint a break now means i an more refreshed and the baby/wife are calmer. when the time is right and the baby is a little older and doesnt need to be fred as often (or can bottle feed him) then i will sacrifice my freedom so that she can catch up with lots of well earned breaks. but talking is the most important. dont feel bad for wanting to go out. dont overdo it though. have to find a balance

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Please think yourself in her position, at least you should give her support during this few months.. belief me, this few months, your wife really need you to be by her side even if you dont take care of baby but being there together would mean alot to her.. help her with cooking or what so ever..this golden time wont come again and you will soon regret for not being together handling the baby, the first baby ever.. im a new mother too, so i know what a woman would feel.. me time is just not going out with friends only,looking at phone also can be me time.. eating also can be me time .. baby at this time are also learning although some people said baby at fewer months are more fun to play with..im sure if you can be patient at this time , later your wife will appreciate your time more in the future.. guys night out can come later when she has independent to be alone after pantang i mean.. please understand your wife k

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well, it's not bad to open up about that on your wife but come to think about her side, you're ranting about loosing life? What she's been through is worse than yours. Especially when she gave birth to your baby, her one foot was on grave. After giving birth there's postpartum depression that may take you to the mental hospital if you didn't go through it. Being restless especially at night coz she needs to feed your baby. She felt like she can't count on no one. She can't do anything she want like when she was single. She's scared, she's insecure, she needs you. She needs your support, she needs your love. Of course she won't tell you the pain she's struggling to. Because she don't want to bother you. And now you're thinking that it's unfair for you? BRUH! Please you're not a teenager no more. Be responsible. You told her how much you love her at your first days now prove it.

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Just be prepared that one day she will go for her “girls night out” where you have to care for your baby the whole day or whole night. Can you do it? If you’re up for it, then Talk to her about wanting a day out and let her know that you are willing to tc of your baby for one day and give her a break whenever she wants it too. She’s probably feeling just as suffocated as you. If you’re not up for taking care of your baby alone, then you should know how she feels about you going for a “guy’s night out” only one month after she deliver. Don’t be selfish. Having a baby is tough work. You should have thought of it before you two plan to have the baby. And don’t give excuses like she needs to breastfeed & all so it’s not possible for her to leave u with the baby. She can always pump & leave you with a bottle, or feed formula.

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hey mate..its time for u to sacrifice ur personal interest & start to focus on ur baby & wife...at least for a year. same goes to me, my baby is 1 month & half now. i have to give up all my sport activities & even indoor activities like my ps. this is time ur wife needs ur support the most...ur baby needs 24/7 attentions,ur wife cant do it herself without support from u. time & love is the best gift u can give to ur family...just do it. if u have family members support/help, mayb u can take 1 day off a week to take full rest & restore ur energy & few hours for u to do ur favorite things... remember...If it's not now then when?

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To tell you honestly, my husband when i gave birth on our 1st born iniwan nya ang pagiging single not literally as iniwan what i mean is binawasan na. His a type of guy kc na mahilig s banda, *octoberfest, jamming s band. Nabago lahat yan pag dating ng baby nmin. Maaga sya plg umuwi, less overtime at khit ung puyat s gabi di nya na ko ginigising para mag timpla ng gatas ng baby nmin. Pero to be fair, s bahay nlng nya ginagawa gusto nya, strumming guitars, videoke, heat his drums with drum sticks pag nasa labas kmi ni baby. At lastly he can drink his fave beer s bahay. At least that way di sya bored. I'm so thankful n gnun husband ko. And hoping gnun uli sya pag nanganak na ako sa 2nd child nmin. I hope so.

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