My wife has let herself go...

We have been married for 4 years and our kid is now turning 3. My wife is about 25 Kg heavier than when we first married and she also doesn’t bother with her hair, make up or clothes anymore. I miss the way she looks and I don’t feel sexually attracted to her anymore. She’s a good mum and wife and I still love her. I have not cheated on her and don’t intend to, but I would like her to start grooming herself again. How do I talk to her without upsetting her? Thanks! #wives

15 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Then did you date her out? Bring her to nice places? If no, you expect her to dress up for what? She has time to go shopping? Go for some pampering time like a haircut, manicures etc? You can make subtle hints, like showing her appreciation for all her sacrifices. Gift her a spa session, haircut, etc. Kickstart her back to realizing that she is not just a mum only, and that she is still loved and you still want to date her out, dress nicely and all. You have to realize, some of us mums may have lost confidence after as you said, putting on weight. So don't bother about all these. Plus looking after a kid is busy enough. Where got time to dress up make up and still get kid ready to go out? Somemore go out sure sweat and all, all make up gone. 🤭 Plus we may not be able to fit into the old clothes. So just give up. So just be patient, and try to guide her to finding her old self.

Read more
2y ago

Ya should date her out and also bring out and buy a nice clothes. Mummy will try not to spend for her own self. And if u bring to a nice place, ladies will dress up intuitively.

This is ALL because she does not have time for herself. This shows that she's doing all the house chores and taking care of the kid herself, most of the time. Try to go shopping with her and let her choose what she likes, more dates and spend more quality time with her. Communication is key. She looks tired because she FEELS tired. Help her shine back. Help with the housechores and the kid. Let her know she is not alone. Teamwork. At work there's teabreak, lunch etc. But hsewrk, it's 24/7. Shine TOGETHER💪🏻👍🏻

Read more

but her new her makeup, buy her skincare...tell her to wear all those gifts that u buy for her...and tell her everyday that u love her so much...thats will make her to appreciate herself and start to wear all those skin care that u buy for her.

do more fun activities together, love her, go hair appointments together, shop new clothes together, so she don't feel inferior. empower her more than telling her she has forgotten herself. give her more breaks so she can have more time to herself , hope this helps!

Make it a family thing or couple thing! It’s not easy to get the motivation back to exercise immediately but try making it a we activity. Also control your diet tgt with her so she don’t feel upset that she’s the only one “having to suffer”.

you need to talk with her. explain how beautiful she was before she had kids. ask her difficulties too. May be she dose not have enough time. help her and give her some time. you can buy some beauty product for her.

start to give her a pamper day only for her like let her go to salon or a massage and let her go with her friend or siblings or whoever she loves to be with

Can try to hint a bit. Offer to exercise together. It's hard to exercise alone. Bring her go shopping for clothes and maybe she would want to look good again.

Actually I think it could be because she totally don’t have time. Perhaps engaging her a helper at home ? Then she will have more free time to doll up herself

Encourage her to exercise. Make it a family event to exercise together. Eat healthier as a family.