Cheating Husband who makes less money than me

I grew up literally without my father, his presence in the family was almost non-existent and he was usually not at home. He is a drunk (still is), wife-beater (fortunately not anymore, as my parents divorced when l was 19), womanizer (brought the women home during family function, and she would call daily asking for him), doesn't provide much financially for the family. my mother was pretty much a single parent bringing up 3 children. To add on, my paternal grandmother knew about the affair and sided with my father. My paternal aunt begged him to stop as my mother was pregnant with the youngest then. Growing up, l often envy my cousin's family and imagine it as my own. When parents are not on good terms, children know and they do not forget. We knew the word divorce from a young age and prayed hard that our parents would separate to end our misery. During the divorce, we siblings were separated as we had to seek refuge in friend's house, until my mother secured a place. the youngest in kindergarten had to follow my mother, staying in a friend's place. needless to say there was no alimony or some form of father support. My mother never got married again although she had a few suitors, she is a strong independent woman. During my wedding, my father proposed to my mother. She rejected. I was really thankful for that as l did not wish for her to be subjected to the same misery. We are not close to my father, even though he still comes to my mother's place to see the family. He has this guilt that he will carry with him forever for the way he treated us. Not being divorced would also be equally toxic to the children. I'm sure you do not want your children to be treated by their spouse in the same way. Although my mother does feel that she should have forgiven my father sometimes as she regrets not being able to give us a complete family. But, families come in all different "combination". There are grandparents with grandchildren, single parent type, parents with adopted children and etc. Your children and you deserve better.

Hi, I think we should not reach to conclusions in a jiffy. If money was the only thing that could keep one happy, no one would have tried to sort things ever. And do not be judgemental. Your husband has not done something out of this world. Man men and women cheat in their relationships but if you need to ask why did he cheat? If he is a Casanova or a womaniser then I would say leave him right away. But you have spent 8 years together and have two children, figure out what could be the reason that he cheated. And whether you would have done differently. For a mkment think that some young man falls head over heals for you and he works in your office. He is a descent looking guy, and you are in 8 years of marriage. I am not endorsing that this factor gives you ghd liberty to cheat but I am saying that monotony, boredom, lack of thrill are the factors that make your feelings vulnerable to having an extra marital affair. It is likely that your husband did not want to cheat and it is not that love ghe other woman but just got attracted towards her initially and liked the thrill that a new thing brings in life. And then he did not know how to turn back or how to handle ghe whole thing. I am not taking his side, I tried to put myself in his position and I felt Ghat I would like if some man would appreciate me and I will become gond of him if he is a descent guy and likes me in turn. It us natural. But yes, it is in our hands to get hang of the situation at eat list and stop ourselves which sometimes we cannot as we think if is just nothing. I think do not take any decision in haste. Think hard.

My close friend of 30 years found out that her husband of 10 years cheated on her. They have two kids, age 4 and 1...and another one coming in Dec. To me, the man committed the adultery in a scenario where I felt that no room for forgiveness should be given. He slept with a woman at my friend's place while my friend was hospitalised. Total jerk!!! And when he begged my friend for forgiveness, he even told my friend that he cannot let go of the other woman immediately, for fear that she will commit suicide. What kind of atrocious reason was that! My friend chose to forgive him eventually as she was not financially stable. However, she became very paranoid over the slightest thing and deep in her heart, the thorn is still pricking her badly and she was unhappy. Things got more complicated when she got pregnant with the 3rd child. She became even less confident to leave him. Marriage counseling doesn't work as the man refused to go. My friend doesn't have much family support. So she chose to stay in an unhappy marriage, though her Facebook updates portray only the happy images to those who are not as close to her. I think what's holding her back in this marriage is the fact that she doesn't have the confidence to bring up her kids since she is not financially independent. In your case, since money is probably not an issue, I'll suggest that you leave him unless you think you are ready able to move on from the cheating incident. There is really no point hanging in to a marriage where there is no trust. Hope you can get some kind of non-monetary support from your family.

I am a child of a broken marriage myself. Divorce of my parents indeed is a stressful event for us when we are make to choose who we will want to be with. Often i was envy of my other friends who have both parents with them while my Father is mostly not around as he is working hard to bring bread for us. However, he make sure we grow up with dignity and pride by making sure we know we are not the cause of the separation of my parents' marriage. In fact, my Father never bad mouthed my mother once after they go separate way and ask us to respect her. On another hand, my husband come from a so-called "whole but dysfunctional" family. Whenever there was a fight between my pils, my mil will comment that it was his fault that she need to stay with such "useless" man etc. He witnessed the affair of both his parents and how they stay as a married couple but there was no love in the family. He used to have trust issue due to that and very self centered thought until now. To me, single parent or a prefect family with both parents does not matter. It is the harmony, the love, trust and communication that set the difference. Also in a marriage it take two hands to clap, he might be cheating you but is there any underlying reason. If the marriage is toxic, divorce might be good for you and children. However, if there is still feeling for each other it might be good to see a marriage counsellor to resolve the issue together.

My heart goes out to you... My Husband did exactly the same thing and he went from one affair to another during and soon after my pregnancy. I earned more than him too. I tried to bend over backwards and make things work - even to the extent of going for marriage Counselling while he moved in with his Girlfriend. I had to quit eventually and my Daughter is almost 5 now. I get no support from him, no alimony, no parenting time... But I am very happy and content and my child is growing up in a loving home with a devoted mum, adoring grand parents and a loving helper. She misses her dad and sometimes gets upset but it is momentary and I know that her life state is very happy. If I had stayed on in that toxic marriage my child would have seen and felt the silent rage/distress/pain in the home. Home is meant to be safe, like the womb. Do yourself a favour and leave this man. He doesn't love or respect you Nor does he prioritise his commitment to his child. If you think he is an amazing Father and you two can be great friends then sure, be in close proximity but your child deserves a happy, self respecting Mother too

My ex-husband had flings thorough my pregnancy and I was very bend on giving him a chance because I thought he would change after our son was born... but I was wrong. He had an affair less than a month after I gave birth, never once offered to help me with the baby (his excuse: you have 12 weeks of holiday!) and was always "sleeping" but was actually in chatrooms. He blamed me for not being my usual self, for not attending to his sexual needs, for basically being a woman who had just given birth. I walked out and left home 6 weeks after I had given birth and filed for divorce. Never once did I ever regretted my decision although I am aware of the consequences my son would face in the future but it definitely beats him growing up in an environment where a man thinks it's perfectly fine to behave like that. At least this way, I can make sure he grows up to be a proper man with good values instilled in him. That's my job as a mother - to make sure he grows up right and be of good use to the community.

It's a tough decision but if ur Husband feel remorseful and willing to come back, y not put the pass behind and move on with ur Husband. My Husband cheat on me once during my pregnancy. When I gave birth I give him 2 ways. 1, we divorce. 2, cut ties with the bitch, I forgive n forget. come back we Hao Hao Zai Yi Qi, give our kids a complete happy family. BUT if such things happen again, we will leave u for good! And he chose 2! It's been 2 years, We find back that lost love. We put in effort for our family. We are more loving as before becoz we once nearly lose this marriage hence we treasure more than anyone else! To be honest it's not easy for me to forget but looking at how hubby work hard for us, how he shown that he is a changed man, how dedicated & responsible he is as a Husband n Father, I know it's right for me to give him a second chance hence slowly past dun bother me any more! Whether he deserves a second chance or not, ur judgement. But have to talk terms out and make sure such will not happen ever again.

There are 2 separate issue stated here. 1. Marriage - Man cheating on woman, divorce is certainly a viable option. I will lean towards divorce if the marriage is toxic. If both of you are in good terms, maybe counseling can help. 2. Welfare of the child after divorce. Given the fact that he is a good father, I strongly suggest both of you work on a parenting plan to give the children the warmth of both family. Just because 1 party committed adultery that does not does not meant they are bad parents. I have read cases where by the adulterer gets care and control of the child. Bottom line, come up with shared care and control plan, whereby the children continue to experience the love of both parents. Don't fight over custody when there is no violence, end up the children suffer, both parties suffer, judges have headache and lawyers laught their way to the bank. fight over matrimonial assets all you want but leave the children out of it!

First and foremost, sorry for what have happened to you, it did happened to me, and I found out while my newborn is 1.5mths(he cheated on me while i was in confinement and away @ mums place) Its not an easy road, and I have to say, talk things out. End day, is he worth another chance? By giving him the final and last chance allow your kids as well as yourself to have a final chance to see him well. If he doesnt chooses you, and still repeat his mistakes then maybe its time to reconsider. I know how you feel. Because Im a mum of 3 little devils and whenever things turn sour for me and hubz I cant help but to feel afraid of whats going to happen to the kids. Its not easy to get over it mentally, and it takes time. It has been nearly 2 years since the cheatint matter and i still cry silently because memories flashback, stay strong... because you are the pillar of em' kiddos =)

Hi, I guess, marriage is primarily about two people getting together because they love each other and trust each other. Whatever happens after is secondary. But still I would say that if you see that your husband is inherently a good husband and cheated on you because he got carried away or just went with the sway, and is sorry for that, you can give him one chance. You can separate for him, and during this separation period you can decide how it affects your life and kids', and on that basis you can decide whether to divorce him or not. I know cheating is something that is unpardonable but we all are humans and we all do faults. So, this was his. See, how he fares during the time of separation and how guilty he is for cheating you, because if you will not be able to forgive him, your relationship will turn bad even if you will live together.