Mum with 3kids

I only 30 yrs old and having 3 kids already. Sometimes seeing myself in mirror, I can’t recognise myself where I am single and no commitment. Looking back I was so bubbly pretty and everyone back home praise me. But now looking at the mirror I only can see a haggard mother who fat no time to comb hair and left by society where my husband still can mingle around and socialise to other and friends. I jealous to my husband to my friends despite being tired at work they still can do what they want ( socialise ) but me? I don’t even know myself lost confidence and I really tired being a mum taking care 3 kids house and anxiety depression I have thinking that my husband might cheating. He meet diff ppl, he still can do what he want to do. I just rant here as I feel unfair Like I want myself my life back But can’t be selfish as I also want my kids I see my husband photo enjoying with friends with girls leaning to him and that’s make me want to divorce. I at home mum, fat and haggard no time for myself while husband having a good time with friends. I just want to rant but can’t confront him What to do