How involved is your Husband in your children's lives? I'm just disappointed that my husband doesn't seem ready to be a Father yet. He's not young, he's just like a blockhead. I tried to send him articles to read, encourage him to read up more about pregnancy and how to handle kids as a first time parents. He's excited about having kids but he's not doing anything else. I added him in Fb mummies n daddies group so that he can read those queries that mummies daddies post. Because of some complications in pregnancy I gotta quit my job. So I'm so free to Google n check things out. Like what milk bottles to buy, breast pump, milk powder, diapers, when's baby fair what to buy at the fair etc etc etc etc. So I asked him for opinion he will be like "I'll check" but he NEVER GET BACK TO ME. I ask again n again on separate days. There's a upcoming baby fair and I said the baby fair don't seem to sell the Sterilizer I want. He's like what you want ; Oh, then how? I was mad. I mentioned Hanil like 10-20 times before?!! Is he even listening. I scolded him, don't think u are the only one working now u can't don't care anything. Because next time I'll go back to workforce and I can foresee I'll be only one handling both of them (I'm Expecting twins). I'm too is a ftm but I dislike how he know nuts and still doesn't seem to be worried. I even create excel spreadsheet to let know how what is needed for mummy and babies if anything he don't know he has to ask me or Google but he didn't even read through the spreadsheet. don't get me wrong he's a nice Husband, he massage me Every night even wash my feet for me because I can't bend down to reach. How can I make him be more involve in pregnancy n get him ready to be a daddy ?

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Woah woman, slow it down a little, just reading abt how many things u told ur husband and even creating a spreadsheet is quite a long long list. Just like u won't ask ur husband abt what brand of pad to use, don't expect yr husband to really know or be bothered to research on breast pumps that only u are using. Bottles and sterilizers - to them is can use will do. Frankly ur husband is 100% normal and if he does really do anything or research anything then it is a bonus. Do u have other girlfriends who are expecting or other support groups that u can share ur ideas and opinions and ask for opinions? I had a chat group n my bff was expected almost same time as me so I have other pple to ask. Maybe just let him know the things u want to buy. Only ask his opinion btn 2 items only - not too many options which u are confused urself. Like my husband only help choose when we were on the way to the baby fair and also help choose those that had quite a bit of price difference Parenting is not made equal. Whether u expecting 1 baby or twins, u will be the one doing MOST of the stuff. Getting the husband involved is just ordering him around while u attend to something too. My husband likes to hide behind "mummy knows best", I will only ask a bit for his opinion because to them as long as we are happy and can use it for whatever it is for and we can afford it then it is ok le My husband is also the nice type will help me massage while I was pregnant and all but some things if u can choose or do it urself then do it urself, keep him in the loop sometimes. Most fathers only know how to play with toddler and know nuts or are v little involvement during baby stage If u want - u can go for dadsforlife pre-natal parenting workshops. They are pretty good and I think dads will enjoy it too

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Sorry but have to say, your husband is considered very 'normal' even though you find him not doing anything about it. Men is like that. Very few fathers gets excited and want to help out or get interested in merticulous stuffs like doing research, which usually is not their forte. So I suggest you can hang out with helpful female friends or sisters to shop for sterilizers and baby stuffs so that you wouldn't channel all the expectations on your husband alone. Understand that you wished to get him involved in this wonderful journey but remember don't throw too many information and tasks for him at one time, he might be not so receptive and feel overwhelmed. Take things with a light approach and do get help when babies arrives, cos it will be tough without help and he goes back to work. To answer your question, my husband was not really involved in my son's earlier years. He love his son but he relied a lot on MIL to take care of him when I was working last time. Which means he didnt took the effort to fetch him back and stay at home with just the both of them. Things were better when our son was older and more interactive.

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I used to think like you. I always wonder why my husband doesn't get involved in buying stuffs for the baby , and when we go to baby fair he seems not interested. I also sent my husband spreadsheet list of things to buy but he doesn't care and he was working overseas then. I bought every single thing on my own and setup most of the things with my parents help. It made me very moody during pregnancy. I tried to talk to my husband about this throughout pregnancy, even forcing him to go buy something for baby on his own accord like clothes is something. I must say most men are like this. Of course dramas always portray the men so happy to know the wife is pregnant and so excited . But in actual fact most men are chilled about it. Although there are exceptions. However I must say after baby comes out they will gradually change. My husband loves to buy things for baby these days even more than I do. So give your husband some time and try not to compare with other husbands. Most importantly pls don't let this affect your mood during pregnancy

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Err...chill. Your Husband sounds very normal. At least he sounds supportive , like he leaves everything up to you. Isn't it good? For me as Long as my hubby is supportive and always support me in whatever I want to buy for baby reasonably then that's fine! Why does he need to know as much about you as sterilisers and stuff? As Long as he accompany you when you need help carrying the items and willing to pay for them then that's fine. Just my opinion. He's working, of course he got Not as much time as you to research on all these!!! I'm SAHM and I always put my hubby work first, and encourage him to focus on his work. Well even when I was working, I also support him in his work because he's the main breadwinner. My income is just supplementary. Please be reasonable.

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I think you need to appreciate your husband and not nitpick. My husband don't know what brand of stuffs my baby is using as well but he is a great dad as he is very hands on and helps out as well as let me have off days to have me time. Initially he don't even rem what brand milk powder..what the diff stages mean..what milk bottle...how to sterilize..but that's ok. Small issue those things I can manage. Of cos I do joke w him that he don't know all these brands or types. But I seriously don't mind. It doesn't mean he is not involve. Cos men don't care abt all these details. U just buy whatever you wanna get... I believe he will be a great dad when your twins arrived as I can see he really cares for u and help u massage every night.....

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Fully agree with Anonymous that it is normal. I also think that men by nature do not look into the small details like women do. Pregnant women tend to be a little edgier than before, so I suggest that you try to take it easy and don't stress yourself. Your husband may take charge more after your babies are born, and by then you have every reason to make him involved because you have 2 kids! As for buying the baby stuff, maybe you don't have to seek his opinion and just go ahead and buy what you think is necessary, so that his job is only to pay and help you carry stuff. He probably doesn't care about such details and wouldn't mind what you choose.

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My hb was not involved in what I'm buying in preparation for my first born too. I choose my own breast pump, I tell him which playmat is gd, bottles we initially just see which is cheap then buy ? Lol. Toiletries for LO, .... etc all I decide n buy them myself... except for fm..... but after I ve given birth, my hb has been a hands on Father though sometimes I hope he will do more lol.. but he is both working n studying part time whereas I'm a SAHM so until now I'm still the main decision maker or influencer of him with regards to baby products n food

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mummy u r not alone.. my hub is nice too... but alot of thgs regarding lil one he wun bother too much his reason is mummy knows wats the best.. my hub is so reliant on my mil till d stage tat if we were to bring our lomfor holiday my mil will hav to follow.. everywkend outg his job is to look aft my boy while i prepare food, i pack, i bath n chg him.. my boy is coming 1 yr old my hub has never bath him, only chg diaper for my boy once.. but still there r thgs he is nice.. dun just look at his faults.. see more of wat he does for you..

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6y ago

oh my mummy our hubby so alike.. i refuse to go holiday bcos of tat..

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hurhur... i also stopped working b4 i got pregnant. my husband also dont really care when i talked about these when i was still pregnant. his reply is always: you research and see lor. if useful we buy. but when our LO came out he was hands on. He change diapers, help to wash dishes, clean house... I would say guys are much much less sensitive in terms of nesting instinct. May be he is more hands on type? talk to him bah... let him understand your nesting instinct, your worries, your insecurities, and your anxiousness.

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I once spoke to a fellow daddy about this, I asked him why is he so hands on, participating in fb groups, recording his baby’s feeding times etc...he told me he’s only like this because his wife doesn’t do anything. If his wife is doing most of the parenting, he will also take a backseat. Then I realised, men are supposedly laid back in parenting because most of us mummies want to do everything immediately! So seeing that we are so capable, they feel that they can just leave this role to us.

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