Jus had a quarrel with my hubby.. I'm a SAHM . I have Two kids. Every day after my hubby's work , I desire that he spend a bit of time to bond with our kids. Jus 30 mins is good cos I understand that he is tired after work so I try to be reasonable . Jus now we started to have some disagreement over something n he begins to say things like give him a break after work , he is tired n can't help out so much with the kids.. etc.. he Meant to say that I'm a SAHM , I should do everything , why involve him n ask him to help with this n that. Though I'm a SAHM but my role is not easy too n i feel tired too after one whole day of looking after kids, cooking , housework etc. I don't laze around , I work hard the whole day too. Then he told me if it is so hard for me to be a SAHM , then I should jus quit being a SAHM n go out to work . At least I can bring home income.. I feel so upset .. am I really v demanding ? Sob.

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Maybe can get him switch role for just a day or 2 and your turn to go out maybe visit parents or something and buy groceries. Let see if he can handle 24 hours with his kids. Man will never understand what we feel. If it were to happen to me, i will do that to him see if he can manage as much as I managed. Still need cook do laundry clean the messes at home. And the mess never stops . He come back still willingly give hime food to eat . Tell him he work have timing we SAHM no timing. We 24/7 doing something and barely have time to even breathe properly. If he dont wan spend time with his kids next time just tell him to marry his job dont marry a woman. Make kids with his job not with you. Have kids dont wan take care, have work to do wan to do. Sorry i just have to. I just feel like its so unfair they think we stay at home do nothing. Like, we not human meh?

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3y ago

I grow up to be very very confident of what i say. Maybe that’s bad and might ruin some household but these guys need to wake up. They have time play game have time to sleep. Dont even have to breastfeed and lose energy. Dont even have to cook for the whole family. His working hours is fixed. He is outside and have the power to communicate with other humans out there. While we are stuck at home with our baby. (The bad part is stuck at home not the baby😅) We need fresh air for ourself also. Eventhough he never go out with a friend at least he is surrounded by many other humans🙄🙄

I totally feel you. You're not being demanding, you're just doing your best to be a good Mom and Wife. It's not easy for you holding up the fort at home, while your Husband might feel the same bringing the bread home. Most of the time, after a hard day at work, the men just want their "me" time, I'm not sure if you feel the same after running the household for the whole day. Setting a time frame for him to fulfill these duties may cause stress, as it could be that he does not want to let the kids down. Let him set his own pace and try to build a mutual understanding about how both you want to play your individual roles, be it the upbringing, playtime, studies, etc. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well, while doing your mummy and wife duties.

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no its normal.... dont feel less of a mother when u dun bring home the digits u are doing the greatest job in the whole. trust me i was a working mom till only 1 yr ago.... and ive never felt energy drench taking care of 3 kids of my own. i have had my fair share of problems thruout the yr. i am only begin to accept the "job" after 10mnths. my point is. we both share the same probs. and my solution was. grab my stuff and go out take a walk alone... and leave the kids with the husband. let him have a taste of it atleast an hr or two. trust me. he will begin to underatand your position when u do this everytime he doesnt want to help out. always take small breaks for yourself. u deserve it. chin up. cheers

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That is nonsense. Both parents are responsible for d upbringing of the children. He gave you a house, you make a home outof it. If it's not for you, the hse is a dumpster. But he too need to helpout in the hse. Bcz he needs to show or set a good example that helping out in the hse is everyone's responsibility. To your son, you need to educate him to be a caring and mindful husband one day. To your daughter, educate her that no one should treat her like how your husband treats you. If so, she needs to know that he is not worth her precious time and life. We need to teach our children compassion. It starts from home. Love each other, love the given santuary: our home💕

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You are not being demanding my dear, I'm a SAHM too and I expect the same from my husband. At the start, we were not on the same page and fought a lot... He claimed he's tired after work, but could stay up late till 1, 2am to watch Youtube or Netflix. Many a times he would rather do those things than play with our little boy... Its sad to watch the LO looking his way but the husband glued to his phone! He's gotten "better" as time went by, but only after numerous screaming matches... As one of the other users said: the men are not just sperm donors.

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You are not being demanding. Your husband isn’t wrong either. It’s all about managing expectations. When you expect him to do something and he doesn’t, you will get upset and vice versa. Do take a step back and put yourself in his shoes. He should do so as well. You are doing all that you could and trying very hard to be a SAHM. Maybe it’s time for you to consider placing your kids in childcare or get a helper so that you can get some “me” time, relax and even go back to the workforce.

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I feel you.. But first of all, ask yourself do you really like being a stay home mum? I know some women really cannot stay home just to look after children and kudos to those who can and still need go cook everyday. Being a women really must have some pride and independent financially. Just in case some situation arise unexpected. Husband got affairs and stuff, stay home mum is always in lossing ends. At lease when u are financially independent u are not afraid in anything.

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My husband always says why don't he stay at home and I go out to work. But of course that's not possible. So what we agreed on was for me to have rest days, whenever he has men's nights, while he takes care of everything at home 100%. I can be at home but I won't lift a finger to help. At the end of the day, he said it's really enjoyable and fulfilling to take care of our son. Win-win situation. Always remind him that the child is his too. He's not a sperm donor.

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Sorry I'm jz sharing. In Islam, housechores is husband's responsibilities. The wife doing the housechores, is an act of charity/emphaty. But to me it's love. So that we cn all rest together when husband comes back. But he will not neglect his duty. To help out. Pls take note parents: Raising a child is BOTH the parents' responsibility. Not only the mom or the husband alone if he is a househusband. Teamwork is key. Support system is key.

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You are alone dear I did it alone last time then realized it's time to get extra hand for help i.e. Helper go get one helper to ease your job at home while maintain your own lifestyle as mummy also need some Break to do activity that you like such as meet up your friend/family etc meanwhile for your hub involvement wise it's good to set schedule for him to organize a dating time for both of you without your kid etc stay strong mummy

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