I resigned from my work to be a SAHM this year, n hubby said since I'm a SAHM , I should be doing 100% of the housework n taking care of children n cooking etc. He won't lay a finger to help me cos he said he is in charge of bringing back the money for family .. is it supppsed to be like that ? How about his bonding time with the kids ? I'm so sad ?

I was the working mum while my husband was the stay at home dad. I worked 80 hours a week. I can tell you.. there’s no such thing as the stay-at-home person doing everything. It’s equally, if not more, tiring to look after the kid at home. Especially if the parent is dedicated and hands on (as opposed to just using TV and phones to distract the kid). And to add housework? That’s insane. When I got home, yes I was very tired, but as much as I could, I took over the care of baby to let my husband rest and recharge. My husband would try to ensure that I got some sleep during the night (I was still breastfeeding during the night for 6 months after I started working). We left housework for the weekends and helped one another out. If my husband got sick, I would take child care leave and take care of the baby so my husband could rest. We would cook if we had time, or buy back food if we didn’t. Both of us were able to duplicate each other’s roles for everything in baby care and household chores. Marriage and parenthood are a partnership. That doesn’t mean delegating roles and never crossing the boundaries. No, you’re a team. Put yourselves in each other’s shoes.. or ask him to try being the stay at home parent alone for 1 week while you go do a part time job. Because I’ve done both roles (working parent and stay at home parent), I can tell you with certainty that both are not easy, and if not for my husband’s strong support, I wouldn’t have been able to raise my children well and still be filled with joy and full of life. When both parties are willing to understand the challenges the other goes through, your marriage becomes stronger and your children are happier. My daughters are extremely close to my husband (both the toddler and the baby), and although I like it when my toddler listens to what I say, I’m even happier when she tells me or others, “Papa says ____, so I will do that.” I’m sure there are people who share the same sentiments as your husband, but I’d like to challenge them to be not just a man, but a real husband and father, and put their hearts into it. Because if they dare to accept this challenge, they’ll see a big difference in their own lives and the lives of their wives and children.

Man words are hurtful. I understand that. But I am the one telling my husband that he will bring money back home concentrate on working and I will be the one in charge of the house taking care of baby and all housework. But he has to use his time at home to bond with baby. That's all I ask for. But after a long time he will help u out abit when he is free.. From the start I nv expect my husband to help abit at all, because I don't want disappointment that's why I don't have expectations. So when he actually help me out I will feel happy about it even it is taking out the trash only. Mens are not good at housework or taking care of baby. Let them work their a** off outside and we as a sahm just concentrate on our baby and ourselves. I am sad and really hurt before and even feel like hurting my baby because I feel my husband don't care, I know my mental is going to break down I told myself to stand up for myself and my baby.

That's horrible. You're not the helper. You're his wife and the mother of his kids. This really upsets me, whenever I hear about husbands who take their wives for granted. As women, we are burdened to take care of EVERYTHING - children, household, spouse, and especially ourselves. It sucks, but that's how we've been built. We can be selfish and just think about our own needs - but no, women, and mothers especially, are naturally benevolent creatures and so we often put others as priority, more than ourselves. You may be a super mama, but you are not to be taken for granted. You should be firm and set boundaries with your husband. Tell him you're not the maid and he has equally the responsibility of providing love and care - not just money - to his children and his you, his wife. Be strong, be firm, voice out your thoughts. Don't let him dictate how the household should be run - that should be agreed upon by you both.

My husband ask me to be SAHM because he said he doesn’t want me to miss growing up with our baby girl. He provides me pocket money every month also help out a lil (changing diaper, wash milk bottle and taking care of her when I need to be out for IPL appointments for 1-2 hours). But mainly all the chores (moping, vacuuming, washing clothes, ironing his clothes, washing bedsheet etc) all I will do. And I will wake up every night for diaper change and feeding. He doesn’t wake up for any that since day 1. I think you should have a serious discussions with your husband because your job as a SAHM doesn’t end after 8 hours. It’s all about team work and you need your alone time and rest too once a while. He should help out a little because it’s also his BABY. What about bonding sessions with baby? He doesn’t wanna get involved too? Then what’s the point having a baby together?

OMG 😱 x 100000000 Hello!! Sahm is the worst job ever ok! We have to face everything 24/7! From care giving to chores! Please educate your husband that by bringing the bacon to the table doesn’t mean he gets to ‘wash his hands’ off everything! If given a choice, I would rather be a wm. At least I get to maintain my sanity. Sorry I get super peeved when I hear the men saying such stuffs. They may be the sole breadwinner however W/O the wifey who bravely sacrifice their career (and freedom and sanity and me time and many many more), can they work in peace outside? It’s a TEAMWORK. Together we conquer. I feel singaporean husbands need to be educated on this topic. Both husband and wife ‘agree’ to have children. Why after having the child, the men decided that the wife should do everything? Come on! It’s not fair ok!!!!

Hi, hope your decision to resign was a mutual agreement. When I became a SAHM 6 years ago, my hubby didn't specifically task me to do housework. But he expected to come home to home-cooked meals, our home spick and span and the kids ready for bed. It seemed like an uphill task in the beginning but since we could not afford any help outside, I was determined to do my best. So I did everything - laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, cooking, tutor my kids etc. But I didn't have to work 24/7 like most SAHM. I just do a proper time management. My kids and I stick to routines and I plan everything e.g weekly meal plans, daily chores. When you do it out of love for your family, the responsibility will come naturally. The rewards are unmeasurable and you will feel accomplished once you learn how to manage time efficiently. Good luck!

No, I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. He thinks he’s earning to pay u to stay home but you’re worth way more than that. Make him stay home for a few days when he’s on leave with the baby and then he’ll know how it’s like. For me, I’m a SAHM too and expecting our first kid in Jun. I cook dinner for him every night, even weekends but my hubby helps to cook weekends lunch and do some simple chores like washing and hanging laundry on weekends and vacuuming the floor whenever. I’ve told him that when baby arrives, he’s expected to help out with baby like feeding, bathing and changing baby, etc. And that’s the basis of my agreeing to having one in the first place - cos he said he will take care whenever possible, ie, when he’s home.

I am also a Full Time SAHM. In the beginning, my husband also have the same mentality but after a few "talks" and a few MIA acts from me to left the two girls with him. He is now doing his share of house chores as a role model for our kids; it is everyone's responsibility to keep our home clean and tidy. He need to spend quality time with the kids to parent them for bonding; his responsibility as a Father to the kids not a helping hand to me. I suggest talking to him in the role of a member of this household instead of he "helping" you.

I hate man say that and Sorry to say that my Husband is the same mentality when I was on maternity leave before I hire helper. I got depression with pumping milk and house chores. I have to takecare baby plus 4 years old Son. I almost jumped down the building as he very demanding. I was exhausted and I tell myself I have to work outside and not stay at home. I get help from my in law and mum now to supervise the baby and helper. Speak to him if you can. Sit down to discuss. House chores is tiring Than work outside.

I hire a maid and don't even expect my maid to do both cooking and childcare. If she's taking care of my child for full day, I order food online so that she does not need to cook. I only expect her to cook and clean when my child goes to daycare. When your husband come back from work, he should be sharing some childcare responsibilities with you. You work 9 hours in daytime and he work 9 hours in daytime; so why can he rest at night and weekends and you are still working?