I hate my maid. I really can't stand her. She is always on her handphone and like to talk back to me. She will reply things like, sorry but this is not my job (i had a headache and ask her to massage my head), then during off day she refuse to help look after baby when she is back from her off day. she is Filipino. How to train her to behave herself?

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Sorry but I just feel the need to reply on this post. I was a domestic helper back in Hongkong with a single woman with two kids. I am now happily married to a very kind and responsible loving husband and excited to be pregnanct for the first time I wanna make a comment on the helpers point of view. Their house is so little that if the kids are playing toys and mess are everywhere, and when its time for cleaning up I need to hurry coz they still need to do other extra learning outside the house and Ill bring them here and there so its exhausting. I dont complain to my boss cos she wont complain to me either. They treat me like their own family member that whenever Im tired they let me rest even take naps, we all go see movies in the cinemas and eat out or go have fun with them in funplaces like disneyland or parks, my employer lets me express myself with respect from each other. I treat them as my family members too like if they need help in other things aside from being a nanny and all around housekeeper. Id be a substitue parent with their kids to school kids activities even braid her hair, color hair hair even helping her boyfriend doing carpentry in their projects. Im a Filipino and all I can say is we are not bad as u think we are. Ur helper maybe wanting u to treat her good and she will serve you better. try to tell her to rest when she is tired but make sure she will get done her chores and ask her in your favor then maybe thats the start of having a better boss and enployer relationship

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Ermm yeah I agree with most of the contributors here. Why does she need to massage you? Don't think that's part of her job scope. And her day off is her day off. Sorry to say but maybe the reason she's acting out is due to your unwarranted demands? I'm not saying she is not in the wrong but maybe you have some part in it? But you are her employer and it's your home so if she makes you that unhappy, then request for a change of helper. (And the term maid, in my opinion, is so archaic. Helper is a more pc term.)

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6y ago

I am confused - A maid is a maid. Why must we be PC when calling her maid. What's wrong with the term maid? Anyway I agree this poster seems a little unreasonable to ask for massage - but dont see anything wrong with calling her a maid. It's like not calling staff the term staff.

You are completely in the wrong here. She is correct, it is not her job to massage your head, and she is entitled to a whole day off! If you want a head massage, visit a place that offers that service and pay for it. Please treat your FDW like a human being, give her respect. I'd think my boss was crazy if s/he asked me to massage his head. That's not in my job description. It's not in your helpers job description either.

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She is not obliged to massage for you in the first place thus I don't think it's fair to say she's not doing her job based on this request. The best solution is to lay down your rules to her so that there can be a mutual agreement like the time she can use her phone and her off day timing (eg it's 8am to 8pm and after which she needs to resume her duties) If she does not accept it then it will be best to change a maid instead of trying to train her.

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Giving a massage is not your helper's job. You might be reported to the MOM and will be blacklisted from hiring another helper. Set a rule about off days that you both will agree on. It does not matter if she is a Filipino, Burmese or Indonesian. They are all human, like you and me and should not be treated differently. Respect begets respect.

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Looks like you've got one with attitude on your hands. I would suggest speaking to the maid agency and let them handle her. The best thing to do in such situations is not to yell at her, just tell her these are the rules, and if you're not interested in working well, then please look for another house/employer. I think if she has an attitude problem or is lazy, then switching maids would not be a bad idea. All the best!

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I hope for the sake of this helper that she was able to find a new family since this question was posted. The comments above about "pick a Myanmar maid" and "one with attitude on your hands" are so horrific. I really hope you guys take a look at yourselves and your attitude towards your domestic help, and try to make a real, positive change.

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4y ago

Thank god you get it.

dont treat her like a slave..treat her like a family and she will treat your family better. and yeah she have a right to refuse especially if its not in her job description. during her off days she doesnt have to work or help in the house unless you pay her overtime/extra with her approval.talk to her what you think and let her tell u whats in her mind.so treat her with respect and u will get one back

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Seems like you guys are in a wrong working relationship =\ Do get help from ur maid agency as a mediator to help counsel both u and ur helper coz it's not healthy if u hate ur helper and really can't stand her coz she still has to live with your family and work with you guys until the contract ends

anyway, they are not trained and it can be worst probably after massaging. and it's human nature that blame others for not doing a good job. we should also praise them when they are doing it correctly. maid is human being as well, irregardless filipino or Myanmar or Indonesian