I feel sad. I want to delay putting my lo in childcare as much as possible. I want her to have a free childhood. But me and my husband are both working. Being a sahm mom is not an option because of financial issues. My mom who is her current caretaker when I'm at work told me that she wants me to send my kid to childcare asap. If not, find a babysitter elsewhere. I don't understand why she can't wait a few more months. The way she talks about my lo is like she's a burden. We give her the same amount of money she earns when she was working, for taking care of my lo. And we don't even ask her to do anything (house chores Etc) or buy anything. Just to take care of lo. I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm robbing my child of a carefree childhood. She has to start school so early (my mom asked me to put her in childcare at 18 mths) and won't stop till she starts working in adulthood. I just wish I can become a sahm and look after her myself. I teared looking at her after I pat her to sleep. If any of you have any positive words to share, please do. I need them right now.

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You're not alone. My mum is currently helping me to take care of my 5 mths old baby. She doesn't have to fork out any single cent and get paid monthly too. She keeps on complaining my baby is not easy to take care and ask me to find a caretaker or ask me don't work. I already explained many times to her that I cannot don't work. Her mindset is in the past only male go work female stay home. She insist say can survive. Yes this works only provided your hubby is a high earner but not my case. I told my mum to tahan till my baby reach 18 mths and I will send her to childcare. To my gd will I propose to hired a maid to help her during the day, she rejected straight away without any reason. Just keep saying that she don't like. Every evening when I went over to fetch my baby, she was doing nth but watching TV only. My baby is screaming in the auto cradle but she ignore! Nowadays I have to tell lies when I am on leave or MC. When im sick or on leave, she will throw back to me ask me take care myself. I need some breathing space too esp when im sick. She has nvr work before therefore she thinks working is easy. All I can say is she wants easy job and still get $. She didn't realise that many times and cases that she has been creating and giving problem to me and my hubby. So your mum at least not so bad as she still knows how to go out work. Mine everyday rot and home watch TV do nth but only complaint. If there are alternative choice I wont have ask her to help me look after. IFC too expensive if not I rather send my baby there to learn things.

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Hey mummy, don't be disheartened! I had the same dilemma as you did several times - whether to put my son in infantcare when I went to school, and then subsequently whether to put him in childcare so I can go to work. For me, my parents were also the ones who wanted me to put him in childcare (so I could get a full-time job after graduation) while I was hesitant because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him - especially when I already missed so many milestones while in school (he was almost 18 months old when I graduated). In the end, we ultimately settled down and decided to put him in childcare after he turned 2 years old - he had his first week in Oct! I'd say that if you're worried about play time, they don't have structured lessons yet - and learning is through play :) In fact, it's mostly free play because their attention span is only 10-15 minutes at this point! They also have different activities planned out throughout the week, festive celebrations and even excursions/outings (with parent's approval of course) so no worry about that :) I was unsure whether I should've sent him to childcare, but now, I'm really glad I did because he learned so much - he's more independent and expressive now, and his social skills are a lot better too :>

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I'm a SAHM and I suggest you to apply 1 week leave to stay at home and experience what your mum is going through, without your mum's help because you really need to experience yourself. It's really not easy, I believe she has her own difficulties if not getting the same amount of money and stay home look after own grandchild who doesn't want right? For my case is my MIL doesn't want to help take care, she wants her freedom so I lost mine along with my job. And she is those kind that totally don't want to help, ask for her to help need to face a lot of sarcasms so I can't wait to put my child in childcare at 18 months. If not I'm going to lose my sanity. I have a helper to do housework and I'm only taking care of baby also cannot tahan. 24/7 face the baby really will go crazy. So don't feel bad mummy. They go to preschool to learn things and build social skills. They'll still have very happy childhood. I totally don't feel bad about letting her go school. I still get to spend 1/3 of her day together with her, remember quality time not quantity. I hope you feel better now. P.S. I am not a bad Mom. 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

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I can feel how you feel about your mum in this situation. I was once in the same situation and when I tried to understand more from my mum, it's really not easy as she is liable for the well-being of her grandchildren. She tends to feel more stressful if anything were to happen to her grandchildren and she won't be able to answer to the parents which is us. And moreover, she's in her mid 60s and her energy level is really worn out after one whole day with my baby (just feeding and looking after baby). What make it worst is she has to change her original lifestyle which is stress free with lots of freedom and chit chatting with friends. But now, she can only share her grumbles with us after we knocked off from work or whenever she see us. My mum has requested for me to quit my job asap when my baby was 6 mo and we manage to come to an agreement to do so when my baby turn 1. So right now, I'm a SAHM which I have been wanting to do so all along. I personally feel that enrolling ur child at CC at 18mo aren't a bad thing actually. Everyone will be happier.

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Going to school early it's good! Means play time for them. It's better for them to be there then home with adults constantly. At school they have peers of their age. Why do you feel that it's robbing them. Of their childhood. Based on what I hear from you, sounds more like you are feeling the guilt of having to work. Take a chill mommy, let go. You have to let go, your child needs the space to grow as well. Let's not hinder what's best for them.

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I don't think being in childcare means no childhood though. She have friends there to interact, learning social skills as well? Whole day taking care of child is really not easy as age is catching up like your mum. You may actually wish to consider her suggestions but have to lower her allowances since it will be used up for the childcare fees. Then all she needs is to fetch your LO and prepare dinner?

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5y ago

glad to know you have made a decision. in that case your mum can be a helping hand when LO cannot goes to school eg. sick, school closure days.

same issue here. but it is my mil taking care of my girl. my mum wants me to put baby in later but my mum needs to work so cannot help. so coming year she has to go childcare. I really thinking of quitting but I will wait till I am pregnant with 2nd kid. I trying to think positively as in my baby can go make friends and play.. and learn sth. better than at home watch tv with mil. just worried she will get sick..

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5y ago

me too! I worry she'll get sick. but I think I'll just get over it. and think of the positives :)

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childcare isn't really a school. unlike primary and secondary school which they are drilled to study. childcare is about teaching them independence. Feeding themselves, changing themselves and sharing. i'm sure your mother may also have her own stress looking after a kid the whole day. it's not easy too. your child will def surprise you with the amount of things she learnt at childcare.

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5y ago

you will be proud of your little one i'm sure mummy!

Childcare at 18mths also good in way for your child to make new friends. Don't have any hard feelings with your mom. She must have done all she could. In my case, neither mom or mil want to take care of my kids, ask us to care ourselves as they have done their duty taking care kids (me and husband lol)..don't worry,mummy..everything will be fine. Good luck.

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5y ago

thanks! will do :)

Childcare is not necessary a bad thing. I believe she will learn a lot of things which your mum unable to teach. My boy was taken care by a very good nanny since 4mths old but I choose to send him to childcare before he turns 2. So far so good. No regret. Think of the positive side 💪💪💪

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5y ago

thank you so much!