Feel like a failure

Hi mums. Recently I found that my baby likes to be held by my mother a lot. Whenever I carry her she cries. I carried her the same way my mums Carries her and she cry. But when my mum Carries she is so quiet and calm. I feel like a failure I can’t even carry and soothe her.. and my mum keeps telling me “see, you have to hold her like that”. Whenever I do it doesn’t work. And she kinda mocks me. Im a FTM and my mum doesn’t teach me much. She’s very old fashioned. I’m so frustrated and feel like I failed as a mum who can’t even soothe her daughter

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Hi mummy! I had the same thought as you during my first two weeks postpartum and I had a few episodes of baby blues because of this. Don’t be too hard on yourself okay :) It’s something we all have to learn and figure as a FTM! YouTube helped me quite abit in finding my son’s favorite holding position! Not relevant to your post but I encourage you to read up abit on postpartum baby blues and depression to recognise signs of it and manage them. FTM do fall into depression easily if we don’t have supportive and healthy environment. Jiayou you got this!!!! ♥️♥️♥️

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2mo ago

Thank you!

hi mummy! im a ftm too and has no one to help me take care of my baby. it's really hard to be in sync with your baby during the first few months but you'll get what she wants eventually. it takes time and patience so dont give up! i felt like a lousy mom before cos i cant make my baby stop crying but now, it's only me who can make him stop crying. also when you carry her when trying to soothe her, pls relax and be calm cos they easily pick up our emotions. remember, you are doing a good job and that you are a great mom! take care and all the best!

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2mo ago

Thank you 😊

Hey Mummy, often it can take a little longer but it doesn’t make you a failure at all. You don’t need to think like that. The fact that you are trying so hard makes you a great mum. As others have suggested, just stay calm and keep trying. We are cheering for you!

2mo ago

Thank you!

just let your baby stay close to you. Even if the baby cry. you can try ways like rock or sing to the baby and let him recognise your voice and smell. you are doing great job no worry just be clam.

2mo ago

Thank you!