Just Feel Emotionally Drained

Here to rant out... One day, my mum happened to give my little girl who was only less than 2 months at the time gula melaka. She put a drop into her mouth. On another occasion, when my baby was crying at a buffet, she said give the baby ice cream. I was mad after that. I mentioned it to her and her defense is always "It is only a tiny bit". My partner told me not to argue or to tell her nicely, but knowing my mum no matter how nicely I told her, she always make it seems like I am blaming her. She told me she wanted to look after my daughter on Saturdays while she is free and I am at work. Then I just let out my anger, I couldn't stand my mother on the incident of the syrup that I told her I was questioning my trust mainly because of that incident. Then she decides to play the victim and said she did all the things for me, supported me when I wanted to be a single mum, help clean up after me and all and this is the thanks she gets. Let also explain that to be honest she never supported me being a single mum, she never supported that partner is Punjabi (she is racist), and that I wanted to put Kaur in my daughter's name. So much so, she and my father said I was being stubborn and I was being influenced by him. All the decisions I made, I made for my daughter and made lovingly with my partner. My partner didn't conflict and even reduce himself down to taking out his surname and Kaur from her name and just call her by my surname only. Before I was pregnant and everything, I was suffering from depression and anxiety attacks mainly due to the problems at home. Back to current events, I ended up apologising for being harsh and my mother does not apologize for anything! My bro and dad both said my mum did not do anything wrong and it was done in the past. I honestly do not trust my mum with my daughter.

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Are you living under the same roof? Maybe you can “scare” her by saying the doc scolded you for introducing food that she is too young to consume. You can also tell her this is your kid, your rules. If she cannot respect your decision, she’ll just have to live without any unsupervised interaction with your kid. That’s because you cannot even trust her with small things like not feeding her adult food, how are you supposed to trust that she will do a good job looking after your kid. However if you are living under the same roof and cannot find another way out of having someone to care for your kid on Saturdays, then you might need to put up with her stubbornness. You can also install a CCTV in the house so you can monitor. Honestly, I’d rather hire an helper and make sure she is watched all the time than let my parents look after my kid - because I know they will spoil my kid like they did my dog, which in turn caused more health problems. You probably need to tell her to back off nicely (or as nicely as you can?)

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Oh dear. I certainly won’t trust my baby under her care, even more so when she’s so adamant in doing things her own way. Who knows what will she feed my baby with behind my back!! Please send to IFC or nanny, to avoid more conflicts.

4y ago

Tried IFC and mum went crazy🙄

VIP Member

It’s so dangerous to give a young baby outside food due to risk of food allergies. Please tell your mum that even if she wants to give a little bit, it’s only after 1 year old. Get a nanny or consider infant care please

4y ago

Yeah I did put into infantcare and that's why my mum is insisting on looking after her on Saturdays when she is off from work but can't bring myself to do that

my mom sounds like yours and it's horrible. you need to move out and cut her out of your life; that's what i did and i never felt so happy and carefree throughout my pregnancy. we do not deserve such toxic environment.

4mo ago

also, u can read up more on emotionally immature parents on google. i came across this term randomly and it fits my mom 100%!

Super Mum

Hugs, dear. I can completely understand why you’re so upset. I would be too. Are you able to consider making arrangements for infant care instead?

4y ago

Yeah I did but as soon as she found out why I did it that's when she got angry and turn the whole house against me


Talk to your mum give her fact sheet about why don't give the baby stuff like that.