My husband and i have been quarreling. He doesn't want to listen. He expect me to listen to him . His off days he doesn't look after my lo. He said he needs to go back to work. I trusted him. Until i found out when he come back he went straight to sleep. I can even smell beer in his body. Many times i thinking of divorce. I m telling myself why. If he cheated on me; i will know because he will not have sex. But we had sex. If he doesn't and thats where my suspicious comes. I am ready to raised my daughter alone. I can be both role. Whats the point of having this type of man in my life where he doesn't even help me. I even checked his messages. What ever messages within his friends or colleague. He delete it off. Seriously; i need to ask myself where i stand. Mummy what would you do??
I think u are not at the stage of talking about divorce yet. Please just be focus on trying to work things out btn the 2 of u. He is being big ego if he expects u to listen everything. U are being in the wrong for checking his Hp unless u all readily read each other's Hp openly Unless u confirm he cheated on u then u can have some ground to think of divorce. Just because he doesn't help and might be slacking/drinking somewhere while u are busy at home doesn't sound strong enough to want to divorce. I think u should tell urself why u must think of divorce. Is marriage and family such a light thing to u? If it is not, please work on ur marriage and get a counselor if need to. Divorce is NEVER easier way out unless u are in an abusive relationship. I say this because I have friends who are divorcees or separated w child juggling - it is not easy and the hurt on the child is not something u can manage. U can do both the roles but u are not 2 persons w 2 different personalities. The child will wonder and be in the shadow of a missing father and have a hurtful childhood and bring issues into his future relationshipsRead more
Based on what you typed, hasn't reach to the must divorced stage. If it's jus quarrelling, I believed many married couple quarrel, some men even cheat on the Wife n get forgiven. I'm not saying u must forgive ur Husband if he really cheats. Anw men can have sex outside n at home without feelin any guilt. But ur situation sounds like there's still hope n solution. He might be annoyed too knowing that u check all his messages. Tell him that it's ok if he hang out w his friends or whatsoever as Long as its not every night or too frequent because each parent should share responsibility for the child too. Maybe he's afraid to tell u, hence he has to lie? Can u plan a day out on his off day so that he knows what to do? Alternatively, go for marriage Counselling.Read more
Hmm have u all tried marriage counseling? Try to arrange family activities on weekends like going to the park or to the mall, doing things together. I will be furious if my husband lies even about the smallest thing like catching up with frens. And why will he delete messages history? Sorry to be not trusting but it doesn't mean if a couple had sex one party did not have affair even emotional affair. Men are men, they can still have sex with you and gave affair. Have sex and make love is different. You guys need to talk it out and give him chance to change. If after trying and still can't resolve and you feel unhappy and there are many quarrels divorce may be the way out. No point to let the kid grow up with quarreling partnersRead more
It's common for dads to be "hands off"... since the beginning of time so it's somehow imprinted on them now. Instead of quarrelling and confrontation (guys hate being 'confronted'), perhaps you can sit down with him and have a proper discussion - areas that you feel like you need help and hope that he can be more involved. Also voice out your insecurities... he may be defensive at first, but do ask him to hear you out before making any further remarks. No problems are ever resolved through anger (quarrelling). Marriage counselling is a good idea too.Read more
Have an open conversation with him. Perhaps he faces difficulty at work too that leads him to behave as such.... From the discussion do talk about expectations you have for each other and also what are the compromise that both of u are willing to take to improve the situation. Have an open mind before u have the disccusion so that it'll be an effective one U may also get a close mutual friend that are neutral and not bias to mediate the talk as well if u are worried u cannot control the emotion of the discussion....Read more
Clearly it's all you taking the efforts to make things better - none from him. And I'm so sorry you need to go through that. Something is wrong with, that's for sure. Corner him, let him sit and open up to you. No one wants a broken family and you know he's on your side on if he make an effort to at least listen to you. Relationship should never be one sided. If it helps, call someone you know is close to him and try to check what's happening? Not that you're fishing, you're just trying to understand the situation.Read more
Being a single parent may be common these days but one has to consider many things before this big step eg your daughter's feelings etc. However I'm also a firm believer that if the husband is not making any efforts to change then to separate might be the best option. But I always believe, talk it out first before making any major decision.Read more
Marriage is based on love, trust and respect. If you are married but still feel alone and lonely, what’s the point of being married? Men can have sex with other women and their Wife. So your husband having Sex with you does not mean he is loyal. All this boils down to what you really want and what makes you happy.Read more
Try to have a good talk with your husband. If he doesn't want to listen to what you have to say and only expects you to listen then I don't see what's the point in this relationship. It'll only worsen and it's not fair for your LO. Chill with the divorce and try to talk it out first! Take care x
Hi do talk to your husband about how you are feeling. Let him know that you are going crazy without help. Don’t jump to conclusions and think of divorce yet. Allow him to share his viewpoint as well. You both have a child to raise, so do think of his/her future.
First pregnancy. Excited to meet my mini me.