Ask the Expert: unconscious emotional traumatising

We hope everyone has been safe and well, during this period ? . For this Ask the Expert Session, the topic will be about 'How normal Asian parenting habits can inflict long term issues on children'. . Our Expert, Christine Wong: Founder &; Principal PsychoTrauma Coach for Rhemaworks International Pte Ltd, will be answering your questions all about asian parenting habits and cabin fever. . Don't forget to leave your questions in your comments section for Christine to answer!

Ask the Expert: unconscious emotional traumatising
20 Replies
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How does one ensure a good balance of asian parenting habits?

6mo ago

What is the meaning of Asian parenting habits? can you help me define? Where would you take reference from for parenting habits?

Is tough love good for children?

6mo ago

Thank you.

Expert

Hello everyone, good evening! My name is Christine Wong and I will be answering the questions now.

How can we tell if we’re unconsciously affecting our child’s emotions?

6mo ago

Coincidently I am conducting a FREE 2 hours parenting webinar later at 10:30 pm - Get your free tickets at my website. www.christinewong.sg

How quarrel among family members can affect a child? Is it normal a child said he don't feel anything or scared when adults are fighting?

6mo ago

When adults quarrel, it creates a deep sense of insecurity and uncertainty in the child's internal state. To the child, the parents are their concept of the whole world. When there are conflicts between parents and family members, the child feels unsafe, and their whole world collapse. If they were to respond that they do not feel anything, a part of them shut down the overwhelming emotions - in another words, there is internal suppression of the emotions. And one day it will show up when it is being triggered. Find out more from my parenting talk later @ 10:30pm and get yourself a free ticket at www.christinewong.sg - more details will be discussed- ways of unconsciously hurting your child.

Some very deep questions I see being asked - I didn't know so many parents are asking the same questions as me..

My husband shared with me that he doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents. They were always disciplining him by caning or scolding when he was young. He can be very critical and sarcastic and I am worried that he will see caning or scolding as the only way to discipline or teach our LO.

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6mo ago

There are many ways to support a child - I don't like to use the word discipline as it may carry many components of subtle or obvious abuse. Caning and beating is physical abuse no matter how much justification you put to it. It can also be verbal and emotional abuse, psychological abuse etc. For a start we must realise that there are 101 ways to support a child. Irregardless of the age they are in. Maybe for a start we take a look at our own internal helplessness first. When we are in this state, there are no other solutions. To compensate for this helplessness, we come up with quick ways to make us feel that we are in control. In return hurting the child.

Sounds good.

My son who is going to be 13 has been away from school for more than 2 months...he gets anxiety attack when any family member leaves the house...repeatedly making sure we have our mask on and expects us to be home soonest possible...home is safe zone and he refuses to leave even if its just a short walk to the shop below to buy his snack. I am going to have problems when school starts...how can I help him overcome his anxiety?

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6mo ago

oh yes - so sorry, too much typing. The concept of death is also largely from the parents or grandparent's own fears. So we as adults must be very aware of the thoughts, fears, limiting beliefs, suppressed emotions etc. The child feels them all. if you want to find out more, you may register for a free seat for my parenting talk happening later @10:30pm. Get your free ticket :www.christinewong.sg

How can parents identify their emotional trauma within themselves?

6mo ago

On a daily basis, we cannot identity it by ourselves. I have a method to identity the root trauma which you can enquire more with me through my website: www.christinewong.sg. What you can do right now is to realise the symptoms within yourself. For e.g: Lack of emotional regulation on self and children, children acting out, parents acting out, internal and external conflicts, children and family members are not happy and a sense of not feeling good enough. These are all potential signs of emotional traumatisation .