Ask the Expert Series: Self-love
Who is excited for another Ask the Expert Session ??♀️ To end the month of April, we have our expert Candy Lim - Rebel Image Coach, Certified Career Coach and DoubleJoy Mum, where she will answer your burning questions on loving and taking care of yourselves ? Do remember to comment below your questions for our Expert ?
For a first time mum, hit by covid situation job stop since February and now also pregnant, luckily husband got his perm job in Jan (previously a grab driver that car fees repair and fuel cannot even cover from 10hrs of work) also about the same time we knew that a newborn is on her way. We do not have much saving left, we turn to good condition 2nd hand stuff in carousell for baby items as much as we can without compromising on hygiene, we believe the rest of the saving sld be well spend on baby delivery to keep baby safe going for appointments and scans with the professionals. We try to live a fruitful life everyday but really control on spending while preparing for baby girl to come in July. Confinement nanny is a big no-no for us. When one breadwinner salary to be pass on to the CL not to mention the ingredients and consumables required during confinement. We are only left with DIY methods while he is not being confirm yet in his employment. At this situation self-love seem to be so far and no longer an option for us. The sandwich class is as such, we have to survive through by spending more time on preparation to give our baby the best as we believe she deserve the best that we can afford. Do give us some advise.
Read moreI have a 8 month old baby and he used to be in infant care. I have to work from home during this circuit breaker period. When things are intense at work and I am busy, I literally had to ignore my baby when he cries or ask for attention. My husband will tend to him but I know he is crying for me. I feel so guilty when I had to do so. My husband and I will take turns to work and take care of him. But at this age, he doesn’t understand why Daddy and Mummy have to work at home and not play with him. We don’t have a helper or other family members to help out at home too. I am so stressed now. While I really treasure this unexpected period of time with my baby at home, I don’t know how to give 100% of myself to my work and to my baby. I don’t know how to love myself now or self care.
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Yes, I agree with you that it is not easy to manage WFH and taking care of toddler during this period. Must be hard on you to juggle between work and spending time with your child who just need your attention. It is good that your hubby is helping out to care for the baby and please do not feel bad about it. Take the time that your hubby is looking after your child and have a 10mins rest. For example, wear your mask and take a stroll downstairs can help you feel more recharge and looking forward to hug your baby. Discuss with your hubby, allocate and plan your time for work, family and yourself, have it printed out and follow the timetable as closely as possible. Remember, all you need is 10-15mins to recharge and reconnect back with YOU. YOU can do it :)
I always feel guilty if I buy things that I want or pamper myself with a short spa break etc...if I dont include my loved ones, I cant enjoy myself. Anyway, I am a person who is happiest when I make others happy. I dont want to change who I am but can you help me find a balance?
Yes, you should spoil yourself (responsibly) - especially when you feel like all you ever do is spend money on things you need ( of cos, it had to be within your means :) ). You don’t have to splurge out on anything big, but spending money on something that will fulfil your physical or emotional needs will go a long way in terms of finding a happy middleground.
What is self love? My son has to comes before me..he cant fend himself yet.. I guess I have to dump self love till he is in secondary school? And my journey just started
Self-love is the best gift you can give your children, because it is self-love that begets the self-respect that motivates them, teaching them how to love themselves and provides a child with inner strength to build their self esteem. Self-love also makes them empathetic and compassionate towards others.
Is it possible to love ourselves, even if we’re staying at home during this circuit breaker?
Oh yes! I know we are all busy with WFM, HBL and being a chef @ home, nanny and keeping the house need. I am sure we are able to allocate 10mins? for our Me time to rejuvenate… if we have time to scroll through social media, we can do it for ME. My Me time is usually 10pm after I knock out the kids and I will indulge in Netflix with my facial mask on :)
Are there ways show self-love to help our mental health amidst this circuit breaker period?
Self-care and self love can be as simple as choosing three things that you will do for yourself that day. Reward yourself and give yourself a break once in few hours, enjoy a good cup of homemake coffee or tea and rest. Give a call to your BFF and talk about everything under the sun except your kids and family. Focus on conversation about you and her.
How can one feel confident about themselves, regardless of how they look or feel?
What are some habits that will help in practicing self love while in a relationship?
A relationship is a two way traffic… If you love you, you attract people who love you and you are able to draw the line when loving others. Prioritize yourself and build on your self-esteem. Start with having your ME time, communicate expectations and work on your weaknesses
Now that I have my kids and family to take care. How do i love myself as a woman?
Invest time for yourself... taking care of your body and your skin. Do workout, set a goal to get back in shape. Pamper yourself with skincare and DIY facial spa. Bring back the beautiful YOU before pregnancy. Be intentional in how you spend your time, allocate 15mins every day for a start. :)
Who has time to self love when you are so busy with everything else?
It is only when you have love for yourself that you can readily give it to others. Paused and Breathe…
Mum of double joy