My marriage has ran into a rough patch lately. I caught my husband sending flirty messages to other women twice. The first time was in january in which i told him i am very uncomfortable for him to send something like that. He said he didnt realise that it was flirty and will stop. Second time was early this month and still flirty. He tried to hide on apps but i still found out and i confronted him. His explanation was when i had my post natal depression he had that too. Our baby is now 11 months old. He long for the attention which he got from messaging other women. He said nothing physical and he said he still loves me. Trust has been broken but, i still want to give our marriage another chance. How do you ladies cope with this?

20 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

The question is- how much more can you contribute to your marriage even though the trust is broken! Will you be willing to fight for a whole family and pay whatever the cost of having one is? No matter what it cost? At the end, what important is coming out healthy whatever you decide to do! It’s a process. Having a complete family comes with a price, a lot of sacrificial acts, ‘martyr’kind of love, believing again even though there’s a history of infidelity, forgiving and starting over again. When I say forgiveness means, living and loving the spouse like nothing happened. No retaliation. No assumptions. Acting in just pure love. Focusing more on how to help each other heal from the past.

Read more
VIP Member

Sorry to me i m more independent woman .. So i dont really trust man words if such thing happen.. And of course if i was in his shoes , he will never trust me too. And personally if flirty message.. I dont think is just plainly msg . To me if i was to flirt along.. Definitely something further so a man will also be further than what we think. And i will definitely talk out with him . What attention he need and sort it out but things happen twice , how can i trust ? Trust broken mean broken. And it also depends on how he treat both lo and you to see if he deserve another chance or is the marriage worth another chance to be hold on to it.

Read more
5y ago

Well then it depend on you... So before all this nonsense he is kind.. then what about now ? Human change really fast.. so of course the main decision is still up to you... You can only listen for advice .. And think for your own and lo 😀 Be strong mummy

He said nothing physical? But the fact that he went to fulfill his needs (emotionally) is already a warning sign.. it’s more dangerous than physical. The trust has already been broken. If you are willing to try again, no one can stop you but mummy be prepared this may happen again. Sending you well Wishes!

Read more

If i were you i will have a good chat with him if Husband should normally stop doing things you don’t like when it comes to relationships and flirting he’s got you and the baby theres no reason for him to go and flirt unless he thurs for the intimacy more i will have kill my hubby 😬

VIP Member

U may give him a chance for safer n trust worthy relation n tell him tht it’s for our relationship safe or else let’s breakup .. but u hv a kid so u can’t just go like tht , hence better to do a good talk n let’s settle it without much argument .. tc

Learn the art of seduction and flirting. Do it better than that third party and flirt with other guys too. Make sure he knows you are flirting with other single guys. Stay away from the married guys so you don't become the type of person you might dislike.

Ask him if you do that with other man will he feel all right. Is matter of time they will develop further even he said no physical contact now. He should stop it if he wants the family as his actions has upset you. Perhaps seek counseling.

VIP Member

This sounds like an addiction already but don't give up! Talk to him, go out for a nice meal and let him know how you feel, tell him that both of you need to work together to save this marriage etc

It's never too late. Get your husband involved, make him co-help you in managing your baby. Do things together to make him attached to both you & baby so as to stop him lurking at apps.

Only you have the answers to that. We can't say much. Aside from this mistake how does he great you and lo? If you were to weight it has he done more good?