How do you react if husband rejects you?

I initiated sex with my husband but he rejected me. Few times already. Caught him with a sh*tload of porn history on his phone FOR THE SECOND TIME after we got married. The first was just 3 months into our marriage. Now it’s been 1.5 years after our marriage including a 6 month old baby girl and he’s back in his world of porn again. And he didn’t even bother to apologise. Instead he gets angry and disrespect me. He disrespected our marriage. He made it seem like it was wrong for me to snoop on his phone. Which I usually don’t, because I have this mindset of the less I know, the better. But that day something moved me to check his phone. I don’t even know if he wants to have sex with me anymore which makes me wonder if I should even continue with this marriage. I did ask, he just kept mum and didn’t bother to talk about it at all.

8 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Hi I hope things are better for you now. As others have suggested, I think it's best you go for counselling. I have porn addiction, so I just want to share my perspective as a woman, although it may be different for men. I surf porn ALL my free time. I'm not even horny, it just gives a high and there's nothing else that's more stimulating and there's always new content. And the longer it's been, the more hardcore the content needs to be to be interesting. As such porn preferences are definitely not real life preferences. It doesn't really affect my sex life I think, I don't reject my husband's advances unless I know I am quite dry and it's unlikely to change despite his best efforts. Sex can be scary too because things and reactions aren't as you expected (from porn). My husband knows I watch porn, but not how much I really consume, and because of how hardcore and weird the s*** I watch is I don't share it with him either. It is intensely private so I can understand why your husband felt violated and ashamed. He's also an idiot as he doesn't know how to hide his history and downloads. 🙄 I feel your husband may be unsatisfied with the marriage, his own performance in bed, or ashamed of his hobby. All these do need a counsellor to help work through. Last tip, the only way to kick this addiction is to be so busy/tired you have no free time to even think about it. Because honestly if you have a phone and no one is looking over your shoulder, that's what I'll be surfing on default.

Read more

actually, can sometimes also try reverse psychology. think end of the day as human beings we have such needs, but maybe the more you tell him not to do it the more he wants. with my husband we respect each other’s privacy on this but if sometimes i feel like he’s watching porn too often then i’ll make some noise, and is a signal for him too to self-regulate

Read more

This is porn addiction. U should read more abt porn addiction. It will cause low sex drive towards partner and other mental issue. Like he will be more blur and stuff like my husband! And even have Erectile dysfunction even if he wants to try to sex with u. So he need to start to quit!!

I personally respects that my hubby watches porn from time to time sometimes we will watch and have sex together.I personally feel nothing wrong with watching porn but then again too much is no good once a week of porn watching is fine with me but not everyday. I like to watch porn once in awhile too

Read more

try different methods like suggesting to watch with him. hope slowly he will grow over it because he is acting like a teenager

hmm, is it because of some reason he might find it hard to tell u? e.g. erectile dysfunction?

Try counselling . One of my friend did

Hahahah so itchy below