I really need some advice. Few days before giving birth to my LO, my husband asked me to abort just because he say he does not have money to pay and find it very stressful etc. But now, I've given birth and still on confinement, to be counted as those unlucky ones, I've infections, fever etc. Even after knowing I'm having infections, fever, etc, my husband doesn't even give a damn and even ask me to go work to earn my own medical bill. I really find this marriage hopeless as he also doesn't show any respect to my parents and me. Now that I've given birth, I have a feeling if I were to mention divorce or anything, he gonna be snatching my LO from me. What should I do? He's not a Singaporean, but my LO is. And he intend to bring my LO back to his country and never comes back if I refuse to let my LO to even go back once. Upon hearing this, as a mum, how would I even dare to let my LO go back for just even once? What should I do?

Dear mummy, be strong for your child. Nobody needs u more than your child now. You are the world to him/her. Judging from what your husband said about aborting the baby just days before it was born, I feel that he is not the ideal person to look after your child. Do all u can to safeguard ur LO. Before i had my baby, i was a shy n timid person. But after i had my baby, i started being braver, for the sake of my LO. I tell myself if i don't protect him, who in the world is going to? I would just like to share with you what i would do if i were u. - i would not continue to live with a timebomb who may take my LO away from me if the opportunity arise. I cannot imagine losing my LO and never seeing him again. Can you also imagine the stress that i would be under day in and day out. Never a day will i be happy or feel at ease in this unhappy marriage. I can only foresee a breakdown n depression ahead of me in the long term. If that happens, custody definitely goes to husband... - if my husband does not love me anymore, i would end the marriage. I will work to support my LO and be both mother n father to him. Staying in an unhappy marriage may not be beneficial to the child, it can be detrimental if the family is abusive or without ĺove. I will first find a stable job after confinement before divorcing so my chances of getting the child would be higher. YOU deserve so much better! Don't stay in a loveless or abusive marriage. That's what i feel n what i would do.

I’m really sorry to hear that you have to go through this. I feel that having a child may be an intimidating change for some, your husband is definitely not handling it well. I suspect he is too stressed over the prospect of being a father, but only state finances as the main problem. I would propose having a chat with him to try to work the finances out. It is no doubt a legitimate source of stress as bringing up a child can be very expensive. Lifestyle changes could be made to help ease the burden. I would also propose marriage counselling or some form of counselling if you and your husband is open to the idea. This may help tackle any other underlying concerns he may be having, and help to see if what could be done to make your marriage work. Perhaps you can consider these centres who have professionals from different nationalities, such that your husband may feel more comfortable: http://www.thecounsellingplace.com/ http://www.sacac.sg/ http://www.alliancecounselling.com.sg/about-us/ *big hugs* I wish you all the best and do take care of yourself!!

I'm so sorry that you are in this predicament :( it made me so angry to hear that your husband said that days before you gave birth. That's a horrible thing to say to anyone let alone his own wife. I reckon you should try your very best to not let him travel alone with your child. If he does want to go, insist on waiting till you're well enough to go as well. Talk to your family and friends -- make sure they are aware of this in case anything bad happens (touch wood). Have you applied for baby's passport? If not, then delay it and this will keep baby from traveling and buy you some time. Since he say he has not money to pay for your medical bills, where is he getting the money to pay for plane tickets and pssport for baby? Those are not cheap. Be firm and don't be afraid of him. He sounds like a bully and he is scaring and threatening you while you are in a vulnerable state. I hope everything goes well for you. For now, keep baby in Singapore, you get well soon and when you are stronger, you can confront your husband if he doesn't improve his attitude anytime soon.

I'm sorry to hear about your plight and it's unfortunate that you are going through this during your confinement. I agree with what Mr Choon has suggested. With regards to hospital bills, you can inform the hospital's business office on the repayment schedule of your hospitalisation bills. You can call up MSF for assistance with your current situation and they should be able to assist you to seek counselling or assistance. With regards to your child's safety, avoid letting your husband alone with your child. If you have to travel out of the country suggest your parents to go along on the pretext on visiting the in laws and celebrate full month or simply to visit. Keep your child's passport safe. Keep yourself sane. Do seek advices from professionals when need arises. Stay strong mummy. Hugs and kisses to you. Although you submitted this post as anonymous, you have the courage to seek advices and acknowledged what is going on instead of being in denial. Keep your chin and spirit up.

Every household has her own problems. I am a new Daddy. If you are fine with my sharing. What would I do if I am you? 1. Though times are tough with many thoughts running. Energise back during this confinement period. It's for the Long run for the life ahead. 2. Make the passport of LO and safekeep. 3. All document related to LO to be safekept. 4. Discuss with family about returning to work and the arrangement of baby sitting. 5. All hospitalisation bills in Singapore should have compassionate reason to provide instalment or medical assistance. Regardless of who you are, there are always support from forum groups for advices and emotional support, because you are a human like us except in different situations. STAY POSITIVE.

Yes, as per above advices. Note that even if your LO had a passport, he got no rights to bring your LO out of S'pore without your approval. Especially when your LO is still a baby and is not accompanied by you. You can actually write in to ICA with your predicament; they will make a note and be cautious when your LO travel without your presence. Don't be afraid to approach your area family centre, MCYS etc for assistance. I am sure they should be able to help or direct you to the relevant agencies. There is nothing that can't be resolved. Stay positive and be strong. Mummies here will lend you our support. Take care

Sorry to hear that. On the note for application for any travel document for a child, you'll need the child's BC as a form of identification . Keep your child's BC away safely (better if it is out of the house) from him n do not apply a Singapore ppt for the child. A Singapore citizen needs not own a passport if he / she is not travelling. Your husband can apply passport for the baby as a child below 21 can have dual citizen. But he'd need the child's BC to do so. Hope this helps. Take care n be strong for your child

1. Do passport for him (don't tell him) and keep in safe 2. Ask your parents if they support you. If yes, ask if they can help you with Taking care baby. 3. Go out and look for job 4. Treat him like transparent. 5. Settle your financial burden first and baby to be settle down. 6. If you need to seperate from him, you will be the main custody if you can prove your financially sound.

Maybe u can get your family or even close friends to pop by regularly or to stay with u during your confinement or even after that so that your husband won't try to pull something when there are so many people on your side around. Of course try to find some excuse like u need pple to look after u etc.

I dont think if you get a divorce, you will lose your baby to him because usually very young babies are given to their mothers due to their high reliance. Just my thoughts. I wouldnt stay with him. Good luck mummy, be strong for your baby.