Adults decision

Hello Me and my boyfriend told our respective families and my family suggested that I am to abort due to both of family unable to support both of us and would be the only one taking care of the child. I am 12 weeks in and I feel sad cause I have no choice as I have to abort it. I was told if I give birth not only would I suffer, both my boyfriend and the baby will suffer. Due to lack of support financially. We yet to get married or get a house because it happened all of the sudden. Would there be other solutions that allows me to give birth or would it really be a better choice to really follow what the adults mentioned - abortion?

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this is a really late reply, but I hope you are coping well. I understand this must be a really tough period for you, being forced to give up a part of you that you do dearly want to keep.. but perhaps I can share from another viewpoint. I have a family member who gave birth at the age of 15, she was a strong and loving person, however after the child was born, things just did not work out for her partner and her. being a single mother is tough, but she got along. however, it can't be helped that she wasnt able to devote as much attention (and also as she was really young, perhaps not as clear about parenting) to the child amidst work and life commitments. the child grew up healthy and all, but in terms of character I always felt that if the child has be guided better in his younger years, he would have turn out even better now. he's not a bad boy, just socially a bit awkward and not as good at making priorities (studies, handling family matters, life decisions etc) These are times I always feel bad for the child, because it's not that the child doesn't has potential, but that the mother was not able to devote more time to develop the child's potential and guide him in life. not the fault of the mum as well, as I can see her giving her best already, but there's really just so much that one can do juggling life and all. that's why there's a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. hence if your family, and perhaps yourself slightly, really am not sure if you are at the right stage, mentally and financially, to raise a child, it's not a bad thing to go for adoption. it may means giving your child a better chance at life. it's a tough decision to made, but I hope that you can feel better knowing that she did not give up the child because u don't want your baby, but because you want you baby to have better. I believe you are a loving mum that wish the best for your baby, don't let the other comments make u think otherwise. all the best, and may you have a smooth pregnancy

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I just can’t imagine killing my 3.5 months old chubby lil sweet baby girl right now. That’s what abortion means to me. I had one when I was 20 and now I am 33. It haunts me day in and day out up till today. Back then same issue, unsupportive parents (heck, my secret got accidentally exposed when I forgot to throw the abortion pamphlets in my car). By then it was too late. I already had the abortion and when my parents found out, they cried and told me how sinful it was. Which means if I had gone to them earlier, I’m sure they would beat the crap out of me but still keep the baby. My then-boyfriend got a huge tight slap from his high ranking police officer of a mother. His side was so apologetic to me that if we had decided to keep it, I’m sure I would have been taken good care of by them as well. For many years I still had unprotected sex with my partners. Always telling myself I wouldn’t be able to conceive again. Was pretty sure of that too cause I did not only have unprotected sex, I didn’t mind no withdrawal at all as well. Every now and then I will count the years as to how much my baby would have grown if I had kept it. He or she would be 12 years old now. I still keep my one and only ultrasound of it (with a beating heart, mind you) before I killed it. Now I am married with a beautiful baby girl. She would have had a big brother to protect her or a big sister to share secrets with. You know, financially burdened is just an understatement. You can always work to fend for yourself. Unless you’re still in school then you need to seek help. Do research. There are many other ways around it. Abortion is not the only solution. Take care my dear. ❤️

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Hello everybody, I am the anon of this post. I would just like to state that I was forced for abortion both by the boyfriend and my family. Abortion have never been in my list after I was 'convinced' by my boyfriend he will be responsible and wants to keep the child. However, things changed. I have to take 1.5 months - 2 month to convince him and even leave him to tell him I will be a single mother even if I have to to just keep the child. I honestly didn't mind working the hell out of myself to keep the child all to myself and take care of it - being a single mother. However, I was still forced by my family. After knowing I totally have no choice, I did look for financial aids as well as adoption services. It took me long to also convince my family I want to give birth.. And to send my baby up for adoption. It hurts me a lot to know that I wouldn't be able to see the milestones of my child and have it by my side after giving birth. I wish the remaining people here who wants to leave a comment would stop bashing me without knowing my side of story. Thank you.

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6mo ago

instead of going through the adoptiom route, maybe you can consider fostering instead. when you're stable and financially ready to take your child back, you can discuss this with your liasing officer. you can contact fostering services or NAVH under MSF for assistance. you can also approach your nearest family service centre for advise. may everything goes smoothely for you dear. 💙💙

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There's never going to be a 'perfect' moment to have a baby and start a family. There will always be challenges but what matters is, how do you feel about it? Do you really want to abort this part of you? If you do, Will you be able to live with this for the rest of your life? I'd suggest try to find options as in financial support from the relevant groups/agencies or try to find ways for extra income. You still have 5-6 months of time before the birth and that can be enough if planned properly. If it's really not working for you for some reason, try to contact adoption agencies and you can put your baby for adoption. There're many couples who pray for a baby but are unable to concieve. Life is precious. Think about it with a rational mind. On the other hand, it's your life too. If you really feel you can't continue with it, then decide for yourself. Lastly, please be responsible and have protected sex to avoid this kind of situation in future.

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First of all, I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time. It is definitely not easy. You are 12 weeks in with a healthy baby so far and I hope that you will think for the child and the gift of life that you could give to this child. Have you considered adoption? A lot of parents would love to have a child but are unable to for health reasons and infertility issues. Many would go through IVF treatment and fail to conceive but desperately want to love a child. If currently you are unable to support the child, how about giving birth to the child and giving it up for adoption to someone who will love this child unconditionally? Adoption is a beautiful gift you could give this child and his or her adoptive parents. If you abort, there would always be the possibility of regrets and having to live with the guilt and trauma of the abortion later. I hope you would think what is best for this child. Do take care 💕

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babe, its ur baby. its ur life. don't do something that u will regret later. sorry to say but better leave ur bf, if hes not gonna be responsible now, he will never be even later.. or he will changed his mind but only for awhile. You will be carrying ur child, you will have to endured everything mostly alone. if ure think u are strong, carry on bringing ur baby into the world. nothing can be forced unless u are the one giving up. my cousin was a single mom, she too was going to let her baby to be adopted but as soon as birth, she saw her baby, she changed her mind and kept her baby. Now everything falls into place, people that doesn't support her and now loving her baby. Her baby is now 14 yrs old, sensible girl. its gonna be tough but its gonna be worth it. calm down and think with ur heart not ur mind. keep ur option open. watever ur decision it maybe, its for the best im sure.

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Financial issue & unsupportive parents are always the main excuses for unmarried couples to abort their baby. You know you can ask for financial aid? There are tons out there. It's up to you to go all out to ask around or not. Or atleast give up your baby for adoption. Nothing happens out of a sudden. You know unprotective sex can always lead to pregnancy, right? So don't blame anyone else, not even your parents but except yourself & your bf. Sorry, I'm so sick of unmarried couples posting the same thing here over & over again asking for opinions about abortion. Majority of us will always say no to killing innocent babies. All I can say is good luck. If you want to keep the baby, keep. If you want to put up the baby for adoption, good. At least your baby can still live. If you want to abort, do think twice about the risks - depression, guilt, unable to conceive again, etc.

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i am married for 10yrs, had been trying to get one. my womb is not strong from the start. u are lucky that u are able to get pregnant. me and hubby are financially stable but we werent so lucky to have one naturally. we went for ivf help and its still not an easy journey. my first round, i had miscarriaged at 5 weeks. i prayed, hope and have faith to try again for a second round and thank god, im pregnant with twins now. it is not an easy journey either ways with or without money. u and ur bf should think of this situation. if both of u wants it, work for it. do not listen to others. for sure once the baby arrived, u will get support from the elderly once they had seen the baby. getting a child in my religion(islam) means rezeki aka blessing, means of wealth. pls think again.

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you should have think of your financial status first before you get into it. abortion is not a solution. You should not take your own child's life and steal his or her right to live. It's against the Law of God. i dont think it came to a sudden as you both have the mind of doing such a..."..." then now you will abort the child?!!!! what an evil thought you have. Sorry!.. but that's really what I saw, coz for sure eventually you will again do that, and make another excuse that you both are lack of financial capabilities to do so?!!!!.. I know you both need respect. But i more to see of respect for a child's RIGHT TO LIVE. MAKE ANOTHER SOLUTION!!!! Bring to a an insitution that will bring support to your child, or better yet, think straight and do what is right. Im so pissed.

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6mo ago

She is asking for a solution as to keep and not abort u stupid.

the main question is how sure are u that u are able to get pregnant again after this abortion? u can have every money in the world but getting pregnant is god's will .yes,u can try ivf etc...but I know ppl that been married for ages n tried alottttt but not successful. And they divorce later with the husband excuse of wanting to have his own kid n she can't. something for u to think abt.kids are gifts from god.if u are pregnant,u should consider yourself lucky cause u feel complete as a woman.not all woman are that bless. trust me, u can make this work provided know your needs and wants.set your priorities straight k.take care

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10mo ago

am sure it's gonna be difficult for u mentally especially after giving birth.. coz after the adoption, u will definitely wonder hows u're kid doing in life.. how he/she looks like.. and am sure u can't forget the look on ure newborn ever. but if really there's no way out of it, den make sure u are mentally strong n prepared k. hopefully ure parents will have a change in mind. try to get em involved esp ure mum. ask her to maybe think of a name.. ask her how it was when shes pregnant wif u.. etc. ask her to rub u're tummy.. maybe it will get her attached to the baby n u never know.. worth the try😉