Single mother - help

I am 24 this year and I don't know what to do. I have yet to tell my family about this - and I am sure they will be disappointed. I left my home and have been staying with my aunt who loved me a lot since I was a kid and it hurts me to know that she will feel like she is a failure and I have disappointed her big time. I was actually told to abort or give birth and my boyfriend will leave me. He told me marrying me and having the child is a no choice for him. Because of the instability of our relationship and not being sure of our finances. Due to me not being able to take leaves just for abortion (and also me not wanting to). I have told him to leave (because he wanted to either way if I decided to keep it) and he just did it without looking back. Not to mention he talked to multiple adults with family/is married, they gave him the idea and supported the idea of leaving me should I want to keep the baby. I have been so depressed, I don't know what to do and I am worried about my unborn child. I am afraid after I give birth, I wouldn't be able to love him/her. This is my first pregnancy. Please advice..

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I applaud you for your braveness to tell your bf to leave since he chose to leave you with or w/o the pregnancy. Not every females dares to do it because to them, bf comes first. Your bf is just a useless sperm donor. If he can do this to you, no doubt he'll do this again to other ladies out there. Donate his sperm & leave the rs. Do not abort the baby my dear. I know of 2 person who fell into depression (cried every single day) after her abortion and another one having difficulties to conceive after marriage. The baby is innocent. It's ½ of you. You made the baby. But if you think financial is the issue, my advice is to put your baby up for adoption. Atleast this gives hope to every childless couple out there who's waiting to call a child their own. Or if you plan to keep the baby, ask around for financial help. Remember. There are many single mums out there who have survived this difficult ordeal of being a single mum. I've been a single mum myself. Marrying the father was a HUGE mistake. Our marriage only lasted for less than a year. After that, he didn't even acknowledge my child. Till today, my child has not called his biological father a father but instead call my now husband - Papa. Although everyone's journey is different, but if they can & I can, you can too! Speak to your aunt. It is normal to feel dissapointed but with you telling her the truth, I am very sure she will go all out to help you since she loves you a lot. You need to speak up. You need someone to hear you. And that's your aunt. Ask for her advice but don't abort. All the best to you!

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I'm in your shoes when i first found out that i was pregnant,sitting there with my boyfriend(now husband) while waiting for my pregnancy test results and i can tell you neither of us know how to react.We sit long and hard thinking about those disappointed faces of my family and his and we decided to abort in the first place.Few months later we never did go with the plan cause we decided that we're going to keep him,with or without family support and yes,i argued back and forth with my siblings regarding me wanting to keep my son and months later after i gave birth,he's the only one they keep looking for. what i'm saying is,dont be afraid of being a single mum,theres alot of help you can get being a single mum and honestly i have so much respect for them.Youre gonna know why i said so when you already give birth.Theres facebook pages,helping you with blessed items etc.Dont care about your ex boyfriend,he's a coward for not being there and taking responsibilities as a man. i'm depressed too when i was pregnant cause i hate children,but when you lay down and feel his/her movements in your tummy you automatically starts to love him/her.I did with mine.A woman who hates the idea of having children is now excited about rompers and stuff.

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Hi babe, i’m in the same situation as you too. Firstly, if you are working, please continue working and inform your manager/boss about it. so atleast when you cant work anymore, u still get paid (maternity leave). Put aside atleast $200 every month. Secondly, u can head to Social Service Office (SSO) to ask for financial help. it’s going to be easy to share with a stranger about your problems, but your financial problems are safe between u and the officer. I approached SSO when i’m 2nd/3rd month pregnant and they are helping me with $150 a month from (oct 2020 - may 2021) because my due date is april 2021 & subsidies when i’m giving birth. That’s for financial wise. And as for appointments, please approach the nearest polyclinic so that u can get a referral from polyclinic to either KKH or SGH depends which hospital u prefer so that it’s cheaper or u can pay using your medisave too. Anyways, I myself am a single mother and i told the guy who impregnated me to leave because he doesnt want to be responsible for the baby. Please don’t feel helpless. It’s going to take an extra responsibility, but the help u get at the end of the day is worth it. Keep the baby 🥰😘

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12mo ago

it’s not going to be easy **

Dear u are not alone , im a single mom too & i also encountered the same situation as u , when i found out i was pregnant and the guy also leave me with no choice whether to abort or give birth he will leave me anyways. & we cut contact after i tell him i decided to keep this Child , after decided i faced all problems alone and my family all dw me to keep as they worried that i might not handle alone and they say is not ez to raise a baby alone , but thankfully during the pregnancy everything is fine and smooth , now my daughter is alrd 6m old , i take care on my own & my family all loves her , btw im only 22 this year :-) If u are worried about the financial wise , u can apply for financial assistance from comcare they will be able to help u give u money every month , also u can join those mummies group too . Everything will be fine ! Dont abort ...... bc u will regret it and it will stays with u forever ! ( as i did abortion before and it really hits me super hard )

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I was in a pretty similar situation as u but difference was that I was 15 n my bf wasn’t gonna leave, however he was so immature n wasnt ready in anyway to raise the child alongside me, so I told him to leave. My parents were 200% insistent on me aborting otherwise they will throw me out n my bf’s family too. Eventually he managed to convince both sides that I wanted to abort n my parents jumped at the opportunity to book the appointment, mind u, I was 23weeks along. I had an induced abortion, I went through 18hrs of labour n even saw my babygirl, my dad gave strict instructions that I wasnt allowed to see her at all but I still got a glimpse of her lifeless body. afterwards I fell into depression n attempted to take my life more than I can count, took me so many years to finally feel a little better about it, till I met my husband

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First of all, kudos to you for leaving the sperm donor out of this. If he does not want to have anything to do with this child of yours, then the child is solely yours. Listen to your heart, you make the call. You mentioned that you did not want an abortion, then it’s clear cut to keep the baby. Although there are challenges being a single mum, but single or not, a mum faces various challenges on a day to day basis. There are various mummies community chat groups where mummies share tips on how to take care of newborn ,share various helpful informations. Also I second the idea of speaking to your aunt. You will need the love and support that you can get from your loved ones. Hugs to you dear, may you find the strength and faith to persevere on. When the baby is here, you will realised that all that you went through is worth it.

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I am currently 22wks and almost in my 23rd wk. A single, working mom too. :) I haven't told my parents too bc i was afraid of how they will react. I chose my baby, over him. But i didnt neglect my family. I've broke the news to my siblings and they are shockingly supportive. However to inform my parents, that's gna take time. What I'm saying is, there's always a way. Talk to someone who can help you. Chins up babe.

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Cheer up babe, I’m sure you can do this. I am a single mum too and now my girl is 6years old. My family and I love and dote her alot. Now that I’ve remarry, my hubby’s family love her as much too. There is no way to say you can’t do it, but its whether you want to do it or not, and be strong for your child. Jiayou 💪🏻

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Hi dear... please do not abort your child. My best friend is looking to adopt a child. Married for 8 years, 2 failed IVF attempt. Don't worried about your accomodation or finances , we can discuss about it. Do leave me your email address for me to contact u or anyway I could liaise with u.

11mo ago

Hihi, I am not very comfortable in sharing my email address here hence I posted as anon /: is there anyways I can contact you?

I just want to send you my well wishes and lots of hugs and love. Take good care and God bless you and your baby.