Something wrong with my parenting? My elder Son Everyday keep shouting and lying. I will end up use can and beat him. He likes to talk back, fight his way. I really hate him. I have 3 kids and he is the most I love one. I will try to let him have class on weekend so that he didn't watch Tok much tv. Shouting, screaming. I am so tired and regret having 3 kids. I am devasted after I canned him. My hubby purposely make me angry sometime. I have helper to help on baby but still too much at home. I know it is wrong to use canned but my Son really hard to teach. Shouting and fighting Everyday.

7 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

What is there to regret? What can u do abt it? Nothing right? I approach things objectively. Change things that can be change. Things that can't u have to adapt. There will be good days and bad days. I advocate the can. Spare the rod spoil the child. But u need to educate the child abt what is his mistakes. Having said that, each one of ur children have their own personality so u shld see and observe what methods work on each of them. Shouting and fighting everyday is very normal for boys no? I would think it is but of caz there is room for teaching them other ways to communicate and not loudness and might. He might have learnt from the tv or adults at home that pple raise their voices and fight to get their way thru. So u have to see what the family is modeling for the child and what kind of tv they watching - what kind of content. Parenthood no right or wrong. Bring up a child to be a good citizen who can be independent is good. U also have to see the child's age. Don't expect them to have ur level of understanding and thought but u can cultivate

Read more

Hugs mummy, it seems like you are overwhelmed by the expanding family and your husband seems not to be very understanding(?). How lld is your elder son? Could he be seeking attention since the baby is born? By putting him into classes during weekend, he may feel that you are trying to "dump" him instead of getting attention and quality time from you. Its a huge adjustment for him too, knowing that more time will be taken away since arrival of 3rd kid. I still salute you for making the decision for having a big family. I believe once they grow a bit older, things might be better and at least you have maid in case you need 1 to 1 with elder kids. Unlike me, I just terminated my second pregnancy because I fully knew I could not cope with two kids and worried for my husband being a sole breadwinner.

Read more

I think caning is definitely wrong - and while it's good you regret, I think you need to stop it. How would you feel if your boss caned you if you did not follow instructions at work. Your child did not ask to be born - it was your choice to bring him into this world. Caning is an easy way out for a parent. It's pretty much child abuse. How old is your son? I suggest doing the languages of love test online and find out his language of love and then using that insight to come up with a strategy that works for your family.

Read more
VIP Member

How old is your elder? like you mentioned, you have three kids. it does get very overwhelming at times. I am facing the same situation too but i try not to cane as caning them will make the situation worse in fact. So i always tried to control myself and speak to him nicely. If all else fail, i will tell him. you go cool down, once you are done screaming and shouting, you talk to me.

Read more

You sound very overwhelmed and stressed. Though very difficult with 3 children you may wantvyo take 2 or 3 hours a week to recharge yourself. And often but not always, children mirror parents behaviour. So just be,sure at home no one is exhibiting shouting and lying. If he is picking these up from outside the home then you just have to discipline him

Read more

I would not cane him or hit a child. In this generation, I feel that it does not work. Maybe you can try talking and explaining to him. Use positive methods.

No use regretting if You already have 3 kids. Nothing you can do about it. How old is your eldest? Are you a working mum?