he dont love me anymore?

hello ladies.. just want to rant, please feel free to give your opinions or advices my husband said he has no interest in talking to me because i always look moody and i noticed he treats me and his close friend's wife differently...his attitude..the way he messaged her..the way he looked at her.. when i asked him about it he said because she treated him nice in the past and even now.. i got offended immediately, i broke my previous engagement just to be with him..i quarreled with my family because of this... i gave birth to his child... this is not nice? recently i have initiating to make love but he keeps telling me he have no feel.. is he just not interested in me anymore? we havent talk for more 10 sentences for the past 3 days and we have no intimancy regardless physically or emotionally.. we have been quarreling ever since the birth of baby and he has been siding with his parents.. whenever i rant to him about letting my 3 month baby watch tv or my FIL wants to poke the teat with needle..my husband never help. is he just not interested in me anymore?? or simply tired? what should i do? my mind is full of negative thoughts, that i should leave and find someone else better as this is not the marriage life i want to continue for the rest of my life.. if i can find someone else better and fill up the things my current one couldnt fulfill isnt it better?

14 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

Unfortunately like in many korean dramas.. some guys will always be like this.. Even at a time when u needed them to be understanding the most. Some guys hates commitment and help up voluntarily when situation turns difficult. So at this point u have urself (and of coz, us the TAP community as well) to put in the effort to get him drawn to u again. Dont throw urself at him at this point. Dont offer to have sex. Make him come to u instead. Engage urself in something fun activities-ie join neighbourhood community, dress up more often, go out for tea time-bring ur baby etc and basically have fun with life and baby- independently. Have an ambience that is so inviting that even a tired person want to be with. It makes it more inviting. If u are able to do that, it'll prove to him that spending time with u doesn't equivalent to just taking care of baby-feeding/bathing/changing diapers and ranting about baby& his parents but rather show how empowered u are being independent and take care of ur own baby and STILL be able to have fun whilst doing that. And if u can, go ahead and dress up (even at home) and make urself attractive again. I understand how sometimes-when we r tired takin care of baby, we just wear casual and home clothes that makes us look like aunty.. so watch out for that as well. Buy few dresses online. Man loves fresh things. Sometimes we gotto be the feast to their eyes.. additionally, dressing up always boost our confident as well. So that's a bonus. : ) If he still does chat with the girl, then I can bet with u.. some time down the road, he will regret his a** for neglecting u like this. Stay strong, girl. U've got this.

Read more
VIP Member

Sorry to hear that. I'm not in the situation but I always prepare myself that things won't be the same as before we have a baby. Especially we take care our baby all ourselves. I always make note to myself. No matter how busy and tired I am. I need to love myself too. Go for a quality bath. Putting a mask. Self reward myself. My little boy very sticky to me. And he will kick his daddy out from the bed😂. So, I need to take Care his feeling too (hubby) don't wan him feel neglected. And with hubby. Of course we will not as active in bed as before. So tired after work and taking care of baby. But I make sure looking decent (neat and smell good) , cook his favorite meals on weekends, have a small talk like how's ur day? And u know.. Blablabla.. , a hug and kiss before start of the day and sleep. To me marriage life is never get easy. It takes a lot of compromise, learning, patience, and most important remember to love yourself first. 😊😊😊😊 Communicate with your husband. And remember to have a happy mind and love yourself 🤗🤗🤗

Read more

Sorry to hear that. You have shared your feelings and even initiated to make with him but he rejected and said negative words. You said he treats you and his close friend's wife differently, the messages, way looking at her etc and he came into your life when you were engaged. I am sorry to say it seems that he likes someone in relationships, hope I am wrong. There must be a limit when one is married. You may know him better and his past. Think he is not open to counseling to savage the marriage. If he is willing, then go for it. You may want to dress up and make yourself look attractive, see what is his response. However, even if he is attracted, you have to judge whether is love or lust. Wish you happy. Take care. 🌈💪

Read more

I’m so sorry to hear. This is infuriating. How old is ur baby? How long has this been? I have no experience in dealing with this, so I can’t claim to be an expert or know how to handle. The in laws problem also complicates issue. But if it’s me, if I have tried in having a good conversation with him over this but to no avail, I’ll take a step back and concentrate on myself, self love and self care ie to look good, feel good, and put myself in a tip top condition. If you are back to your good spirited and confident self, he probably won’t think you are “moody” anymore. The in law problem is tricky tho, and I wouldn’t know how to deal with it if the husband is not supportive :( Hugss

Read more
Super Mum

Don’t make any rash decisions when you feel terrible and being consumed by negative thoughts. You may make decisions that you will regret. Marriage is not easy as it’s 2 very different people attempting to live together. While having a child adds to the stress, your child also brings you joy. Try to talk to your husband nicely, remind yourself why you fell for him in the first place and ask yourself why he wanted to be with you. Don’t give up too easily!!! Hang in there! Also, try to be nice to your parents in law and talk to them nicely about why you don’t want your child to watch TV and so on. Show them the facts and research.

Read more

Sorry to hear about this dear..I can't say i fully understand how you feel because it didn't happen to me. Why don't both of you go for couples therapy/counselling? If this is eating both you up, best to have another party to try see things in different perspective. I wish you all the best and stay strong! :)

Read more
VIP Member

The puppy love during dating time don't last forever. Try to close one eye with his parent. No one parenting method is absolutely correct or wrong. They care because they love. He will probably appreciate you by that. I am sure every man love to see wife get along well with parents.

VIP Member

Sorry to hear that. Do have a good talk with your husband to try and work things out. Let him know how you feel and find out if there's anything bothering him etc. In the meantime try n surround yourself with your loved ones, positive thoughts etc.mm

I would advise u speak to a family counsellor and work things out before you make any decisions about leaving.

Super Mum

Jia you. Perhaps can find friends or your mum to chitchat and try to stay happy.