Is divorce the only option?

I am a single mother of 3 children. Got married early this year to my partner of 4 years and am heavily pregnant. Partner has been nothing but nice towards my children and they adore him very much. Children’s biological father is a no-show parent so children get the fatherly love from my partner. Until after we got married and stayed together. He became very strict and expects everything to go by his way. Told him couple of times that the children feels that he has changed. He realises that and spends more time with children but that only lasted for a few days. Recently we got into an argument. He has this habit of asking and pestering me to answer his questions there and then, even with kids around. After the fourth time he repeatedly asked what i was upset about despite me telling him to allow me to settle the kids and not talk abt it because it will only lead to us fighting, i got fed up and told him what made me upset. He couldn’t find anything to reply me and because he didn’t want to seem like he’s the losing end, he said i was showing a very bad example towards the children for talking the way i did. I said ok and went in the bathroom. Then he got really angry and he started hitting and breaking a few things in the house - in front of the children. My child got really scared and ran towards me crying. I honestly regret marrying him. But I don’t know what else to do. This will be my 2nd divorce and the 2nd time i put my children through such painful ordeal. Am I overreacting or is divorce the only option? I need opinions.

Anonymous

6 Replies

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Pls do be careful with the red flag there. From hitting & destroying things, he might and may even dare to put a finger on your children. Try and talk things out first. Just the 2 of you. Tell him what & how you feel of this marriage. Tell him how much he've changed and it gave a huge impact on your marriage. Tell him he's also showing a very bad example in front of your children by asking questions & expects you to answer there and then and also destroying things. Tell him that he's a father-to-be. He cannot show that kind of bossy attitude towards his own child and he needs to change. Your children is your priority. And always is. Poor kids felt traumatic on the incident. They will feel scared with him around. It is a sign of abuse. Be careful there. If need, please apply for a PPO for yourself and your children.

Mum of 1 Baby Boy

4y ago

I agree with you on that. Apply PPO for yourself and children. Seems that it is abuse. Be careful and good luck

VIP Member

Hey, you're such a strong woman. I've been in your situation, somehow. My husband also has that kind of habit, asking and pestering me to answer. If I don't answer him... he will start to show his attitude such as hitting and breaking a few things too. I'm like so used to it already. Sometimes I will scold him when he does it infront of our child. The only difference is my husband is my children biological father and maybe this is the reason why I can put up with his attitude problem. Try to talk things out with your husband. Slow talk and it is important for you to tell him about your feelings. You are in charge of it. It's your children and always gonna be your priority. You decide what's best for them. Take some time to think carefully. Good luck!

Don’t let the stigma of “2nd divorce” hold you back. Never, ever care what people think about you because it’s your life to live. Turn back and get rid of him if you regret. It’s a warning sign of what’s to come. Big hugs and hope you find the answer within yourself to do what is best.

TapFluencer

please go for marriage counseling. sometimes maybe your hub is stress by something or unhappiness try open it up and talk.

Do considering marriage counselling, as he violent behaviour can affect your children’s mental health

Consider marriage and parenting counseling

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