i need to rant. pls be kind!

i had a baby with someone. we decided to co-parenting our baby together. i've always talk to his mom and discuss about the baby. he didnt make any effort to try and i did gave him a chance like asking what's his input. either he said "i'm okay with anything" "i'll follow whatever you decide" we had an argument and we stopped talking. i told his mom that i felt upset and its not fair for me to kept communicating with her and not the father of my child. dont get me wrong, his mom is really a nice person. i just wanted him to be more involved. one day i had enough. i told his mom to tell him, either he change and communicate with me or he won't have access to the baby. i was really upset and angry, i didn't mean it at all. i am 2 months postpartum and i couldn't control what i said, yes i know i shouldn't use that as a reason. i've been nothing but nice to him. he doesn't want this baby at first and told me to abort but then he changed his mind. he wanted to be part of my baby's life. because im thinking about my baby and i don't want her to grow up without a dad, i accept him to be involved with my baby's life. but then after i outburst, he texted me. it was really awful. he said that he's tired to keep on having petty arguments with me. he said if i don't want him to be part of my baby's life then he suggested to change my baby's last name and leave him alone. all i'm asking for him to talk to me instead of talking to his mom. maybe the way i phrase it might hurt him but by him saying that it's hurting me too. it seems like he doesn't care about the baby. i can't help it but to blame all on me. because of me, my baby won't have a dad to grow up with. maybe if i kept my mouth shut and not expressing what i felt, this wouldn't happen. i've been crying the whole day thinking about this. i don't know what to do. he deleted our chat so whatever sweet memory we had about our baby, it was gone. just like that.

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sorry to say this but it sounds like he's not really interested to be a part of your or the baby's life. I would let him know, he's welcome to see the baby if he wants to, because you don't want your baby to grow up without a father. but if he doesn't want to, then he can buzz off. Leave it at that, because a loving mummy is enough for your baby❤

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don’t think that way. growing up with a shitty father is worse than an absent father. the damage on your child’s development is way worse and irreparable. it’s really not your fault for trying. it takes 2 hands to clap and he just didnt

The baby will be better off without having a father who doesn’t care. I grew up without a father and it’s fine! Don’t blame yourself, you only just want the best for your child :)