Cheating husband

Its been a tough week for me and i have no one to confide in. The story happens when we were in a relationship for two years and i have a son out of wedlock with him. My husband(then boyfriend)came to know someone whom he worked with at that time and at first it was only just colleague friendship which i don't mind at all since he never did any of this stuff before when he's with me. So after months of me telling him that i'm not okay with them being friends he "claimed" that he ignored her etc. So moving forward,we got married after i give birth to my son and its been 1 year plus. This week,i went thru his ipad,just randomly looking at pictures of us and our kids when suddenly i found a text that at first i find it hard to believe cause yes the way the text read is different from the way i always text him so at first i have my doubts,told myself it couldnt be my husband,maybe it was his friend cause the number is not saved so i asked him and he act all stupid with me. So i asked him again after i put in the number on my phone then i know who it was so i told him not to lie and he told me that he had a relationship with her when i was pregnant with my first son. He told me it was only 2-3 days after that he end things with her. Im not dumb so i told him im calling the girl up to ask her and when i did she told me they had a relationship for months up till i'm about to give birth from around september 2020-november 2020 and they had gotten intimate quite a few times,she send me videos of them together talking after sex and he asked her if it was good and she was smiling and touching him,sends me conversations of them and pictures of them together,kissing and hugging all the while i was at my parents home heavily pregnant and insecure about myself. It kills me seeing him so happy with her. They were also talking about me how she's jealous he was spending almost all of his time with me etc. I broke down cause i was nothing but faithful to him,i trusted him and ignore everyone who told me not to be with him. He insults me throughout my pregnancy claiming i have another man thats why i have a child and my son couldn't be his. All the while he's the one being unfaithful. My heart hurts and the more i look at him the more i think about it. Eventhough it didn't happen when we are married it still hurts and when i think about it he did act suspicious throughout our relationship and i kind of knew about their relationship but i didnt want to believe it cause i trust and love him. What hurt me the most is that why must i found out now that we are married,why not before i give birth?i look at my son cause he came to me when i was crying,holding me and trying to comfort me eventhough he dont understand anything and i feel guilty. Him and i we went thru alot during my pregnancy with him. I cried alot thats why i think he had that bond with me. I decided to stay although i dont know if thats a good decision for me now that i have two kids with fear he would do it again. He told me he wont but i dont know...its just mentally f***** me up.

10 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

So sorry that you had to go thru this… Many may disagree but make the decision for yourself, don’t do it for the sake of the kids. Many chose to “stay” in a marriage because of the kids but how many of it turned out well.. My parents are divorced when I’m young and my rs with my step dad was even better than my own dad. My bottom line is physically cheating. And with the trust from me to you gone, I don’t see the point in the relationship where I have to constantly be afraid of when is this guy gonna cheat on me again? Is he out there doing something funny again? Etc etc. And to be honest, the fact that he established a rs with her and had sex as well, just shows that he don’t love you enough not to cheat. No point tying someone down for the sake of responsibility. No one will tell you they will cheat……… Ultimately the decision should be made for yourself. If you think that you wanna give it another shot, then you have to come to terms with yourself to accept that all these stays in the past. No more overthinking else you’re just going in circles…

Read more

Hi, i went through similar situation as you, only to found out that my husband (boyfriend then) cheated on me a year after we got married. He even got intimate with her 2 months after our marriage. I felt stupid;having full trust to my husband and not having any doubts. Ya..i wish I could have found out about the cheating incident before we got married. It was devastating, i felt broken, felt hopeless and felt like dying. Fast forward to 3 years after knowing that my husband cheated on me, I am still in the marriage, happy most of the time. Sad as I will get triggered and get upset about the past. All of us just have to keep moving forward aren't we? Our pain will not go away but we will get stronger and stronger. My daughter gave me hope and courage. My husband also tried his best to be supportive to me though he was the cause of my wound. What is your hope for the future? What is giving you courage? And how supportive is your husband? Through his actions and words of course. It is important for him to the one still giving you comfort and you feel secure with him. Jiayou ❤️

Read more
VIP Member

Hug you tight, mommy ❤️ I feel you, it must be hard for you and make you more overthinking and suspicious to your husband. Sorry if i say that it happened cause you ignore the red flag 🚩when he insulted you about his son could be a son from another man. He was manipulative & gaslighting to make you feel guilty although he was the one who wrong. For me, cheat and domestic violence are really big deal. If my husband cheat on me, i would take divorce cause cheating looks like habit and i couldn't control my mind about what he did to other woman. But the decision is depend on you. Perhaps you could think and remind again what's thing make you love him, the purpose of your marriage, the positive about your husband as partner and parent, try to make better communicate with your husband, about financial, kid's future and ask yourself (are you happy with him?can you forgive him without mention his cheating when you both argue?). I wish the best of you 🙏 If you need somebody to talk, you can drop me a message❤️

Read more

The same thing happened to me as well, I caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me when I was 6 months pregnant as he was finding all sorts of excuses not to ROM and I started getting suspicious. We patched back after our child was born and his cheating continued. Things didn’t work out well between us and we parted ways. I think I am much happier now without having to live my life constantly thinking if my partner is cheating on me. It hurts of course, but you’ll get better as time passes. You’ll know what’s best for you and your kids.

Read more

All the answers above involve breaking the trust of your marriage for something that could be insignificant. Have you tried asking him? What makes you think he may be doing you wrong? Is there more evidence than him texting someone? To get the Evidence why not Signup and see What is right and what is Wrong. I have used the private investigator and confirm to me if he was mine or for another, but he was mine and I love him so much. You’re one of a kind in checking wife infidelities. [email protected]

Read more
Post reply image

Sorry that you have to go through this, is not something that is easy to swallow at all. It must have been hard.. 😞 Is not a simple decision to be made at all. I guess u don’t have to make any for now but really just to observe first. If he say he will change, he would have to show u base on ACTIONS. & not just words. And actions don’t just come by like that, it takes a lot of conscious efforts… trust have to be built back as well. And all these cannot be without time.

Read more

Getting to find this team called [email protected] was a blessing during my divorce process. My ex wife nearly took away everything from me including my kids but with the help of this private investigators I was able to get some reasonable proves to back my case So big thanks to whoever introduced or recommend this team on this platform because they have done a good job. WWW.HACKERSPYVILLE.COM

Read more
Post reply image

Hugs to you! Actually, for the sake of your kids, I’d advice you to leave. My parents divorced when i was only 3 years old, and me and my sis turned out fine. On the contrary, i dont think we would have been if i was raised in a broken home filled with infidelity and absence of love between parents, who are supposed to be my role model.

Read more

Hang in there mummy