My husband took half day leave to help me take care of our boy so that I can have a rest. While I was cooking noodles for our baby, he was at the living with our baby looking after him. Then he decided he should play his clash of royal game on his ipad and neglected our baby. Baby was climbing all over him seeking for attention. I heard some hitting sound so I went out to take a look. Our baby climbed up the TV console and when I stepped out of the kitchen and scolded my husband of being so engrossed with his games that he didn't even care when baby is on top of the TV console. Just when I finished my sentence, baby fell backwards straight down to the floor and hit the back of his head. I was outside the play yard too far away to dash across the room to save him. The next thing my husband did shocked me too. He actually grab hold of his underarm and shock him hard scolding him naughty instead. Baby just turned 1 year old. Is he naughty? Is it my baby's fault? Or was it my husband's negligence? Then he commented that he shouldn't agree to my request of asking to take leave to help me with taking care of our cranky teething baby. And he is not going to help me anymore. I feel that he is very childish. Not the 1st time I got such childish remark from him. Totally irremorseful. And we quarrelled every 2-3 days. I feel like I marry the wrong guy.

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I feel you. My husband used to be like that but happy to share that he improve quite a lot over the past two years. For my firstborn, he is totally hand off. However, for my second child he is my confinement "man" and nanny. I used to nag and nag at home to stop doing something which I realised it only push him over and make him stop wanting to help. Hence, I make a shift in my way of communication; instead of asking for help to take care of children. I request him to do his part as a Father by first playing with the kids and praise him on that. When my children are bigger, I told them to send voice or video messages to him when they missed him. Slowly, the bonding is there and my husband start to treasure their time together as he hardly have time for them now due to busy work schedule. As mine are two girls, maybe daddy tends to love girls more since they know how to make him feel "important" with the sweet sweet words. I guess you can sit down with him to understand how he feel and want to parent your kids together. Nobody know your husband more than you, you just need some time to calm down and find a way to get him "work for you" without noticing it. :-)

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I can totally relate... it must be your first child... first time parenting... usually mother can fit into the role automatically with mother's instincts... however not for daddy who has no experience at all and will take longer time to realise "ah i am a daddy now, i must change my lifestyle already"... sorry to ask but is the child came unplanned... for me it did come unplanned... and my husb could not adapt to the change in the lifestyle at all... we quarrel many times for the child's 1-3 years old and sometimes blunted out we would be happier without the child... but then finally he starts to communicate with him, play with him, educate him and have fun laughter together after enduring all those hu-ha... my husb even think of wanting a girl next time... i ask him if he is going to learn how to take care... he say sure, i will take care of her at night as he works night shift... oh gosh

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I think many husbands are like that bah.... game a lot, cannot look after baby etc.. as mummies/wives I think we have to be the ones to multi-task. I left my 6 months old alone with my hubby also then he fell asleep and the baby fell off the bed and hit his head. Actually I can only blame it on myself to leave baby alone with my hubby when I know he is like that... don't have the thinking in your head that you marry the wrong guy cos after awhile it will end up making your marriage life fall apart. Just think that you have to be the Super mummy that has to be doing everything. Cheer up mummy!

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5y ago

I cannot be super mom before because I was pregnant. I cannot be super mom now because I just had a miscarriage. I don't have understanding caring and hands on husband never mind. I just need a guy who can do his tiny part at times when needed. family with children is not a one man show. he can make mistake but he cannot deny that he made a mistake. if is because of his negligent for not keeping an eye on him then he push the blame to our baby for falling then that to be is considered screw up twice.

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Many husband are indeed like that. They are just not the child-care material kind of husband. They will only blame the child OR blame us when things happen. Many times i told myself that i married the wrong husband. End up we still move on for 5 years with 3 kids. Learn to close one eye. Kids i rather handle myself tbh

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5y ago

I agree on it. But some dads are just cut out to be a child care material. I handle kids myself. Give urself time and also give daddy time to accept this daddy role. Daddy need time to switch into this instinct. My husband still games constantly. So i what get my kids to do is. i whisper to them. Go disturb daddy ask daddy play w you. This way daddy is also learning to play and interact w them

take a chill mommy. it's very normal. we all have our own methods. the saying, best to do it yourselves. if that is his method and his way then maybe you can try talking to him about it instead of blaming him. he won't wanna harm baby either.

2y ago

shes not blaming him because it is his fault. we shouldn't normalise moms being the only parent to care for their kid/s. marriage is a two way thing, what more parenting.

I banned my hubby from playing games without my approval :p. Too bad, he guai guai listen and if he downloads and plays then he feels guilty and confesses to me. Heehee :p. Hate it how guys can be addicted to games.

horrible man -.- he is certainly at fault and to add to the insult he blame a baby barely 1 year old. I feel sorry for you and your child.

Whut... guys. Parenthood is a shared thing. Why is it normal for a husband to do this

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i feel you game always destroy sth..