Heart breaking

Dear mummies. I need help, I no longer know what I can do anymore. All I want is to have some time with my son and my husband is taking him away from me as much as he can. Today he took our son that is ( 17months old ) away from me as i was about to feed him dinner. Our boy was so scared and crying as my husband was being ferocious about taking him away from me. As I have not start to feed our son, I just wanted to feed him before he take him away, and yet he took him and left the house without bringing his food and water bottle and both of them have been out for almost an hour which has past my son's dinner time. Earlier in the evening, I rushed home after my work end just to bring our son down for a walk to nearby supermarket and was caught by him at the lift lobby and he said that I did not tell him I was bringing his son out, and told our son in a threatening tone “do not anyhow go out with an outsider”. During my whole journey with our son, my husband did not play the part of a father or a husband, in many accounts, while sleeping, our son cried in the middle of the night and all he did was being mean and shouted at me or get pissed off by not making our son sleep back as soon as possible. Even during my confinement period, all I ask for is that little amount of rest, not only he did not help, but he did not want to be involved in any part of it. Ever since giving birth, I had to pay our child’s expenses without his financial help, not only paying for the baby, but also ask me to pay for the stay at his place. Because I have a lower income than him, instead of helping, he asked why I am earning so little and said that I should try to earn more and further my studies to find a higher paying job and not asking for his help. I really just want my boy to grow up nice and proper, to have a happy childhood and to be able to see him more and hug him when I can. But all I get is nights of our boy being locked away from me, nights and nights as he wanted to stay in separate rooms. There’s so many times he would threaten me to kick me out of the house. It has been a torture both emotionally and physically for my son and I. As I do not want my family to get worried about me over such situations I am in, can any mummies out there give me advice?

Kiamin Seet

Mama bear of 1 curious junior

8 Replies

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VIP Member

So sorry to hear this. Please tell your family, get their support and take your son away from this situation. It’s not healthy for your son in the long run. The way he is behaving is not of a husband and a father. Collect evidence of his emotional abuse and get a divorce asap. You and your son will be better off without someone like him in your life. All will be well. Your son will be happier and healthier emotionally. You can get alimony from him to support your son since he earns more than you! Seek help early before when it is too late.

Kiamin Seet

Mama bear of 1 curious junior

4y ago

yes I have been seeking help.. but he is playing punk and trying to chase me out.. once I am out he will try all sorts of things to go against me.. he even hire PI to stalk me.. which I feel so upset, and he pushes me and trying to snatch things from me to gave his son.. now I not sure family counsellor able to help after hearing my stuffs

It is really not good for kids any age to witness shoutings and aggressiveness, especially very young ones because they still are scared of those and do not know how to deal with their emotions. When i read your husband jz took him away even before feeding, it's very scary for the kid. Traumatising. I can imagine the kid crying like crazy. Is thr any other family members that can defend you? maybe you should make police report and get some protective order? Most important thing is to protect kid's mental health. pls get help.

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Kiamin Seet

Mama bear of 1 curious junior

4y ago

exactly! he is not setting any good example as a parents.. he tag team tgt with the mum to so called verbally abused me.. forbidding me from getting closed to the son.. now that my son have a closed relationship with them and he doesn't want me much.. I feel so upset and I am being mentally torture at his place. I don't know what else can I do but to wait for court order..

TapFluencer

is your hub having some mental issue I'm sorry to said that. he doesn't want to help yet want to keep you away from him? I feel you should really reconsider this marriage he treat you as a outsider? so why do you still bear all these? not caring for your son when it's his feeding time letting your son goes hungry. hi mummy please protect yourself and your son well. living in such environment isn't healthy for your son too.

Kiamin Seet

Mama bear of 1 curious junior

4y ago

indeed mummy J! I am filling for divorce.. he is doing all sort of things to keep my son away from me.. now that my son is distance away from me and getting closed to him and his mum.. I feel so upset that my son and I have a distance relationship and he doesn't get closed to me anymore, he has those unhealthy vibes from my in law and him.. cos he told his mum to do all sorts of things... I used to sleep with him and cuddle him now he don't allow me to do so.. I feel so sad and depressed..

If he cant support you financially, emotionally, physically and mentally yet still abuse you mentally, I think it is only fair to bring your child away from him. Your child will not be happy with this kind of father and a sad mother. You should go to your closest family or friends, or give Ministry of Social and family development a call 6355 5000 to find what assistance you can get.

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Mother of two lil baby boys

4y ago

Gather as much evidence of him doing all these because if you can prove he is an unfit father, you can get custody of your child with maintenance fees from him. Get legal help from the hotline. Start gathering evidence such as exchange of messages, videos of his punks etc. You must also steer clear of any problem of your own to not let him gather information that would make you look like unfit mom. (If any).