how do i tell my mil to stop being so involved with my baby?? i dont need the help she's giving, when I was having confinement at my parents home i took care of everything myself. my mil likes to take my daughter from me and play with her when I'm carrying my daughter. she also likes to bathe her n close her door n purposely make baby sleep in HER room. really pisses me off. sometimes i rly want to cut my mil off totally, but once in awhile I'll need her to help me take care baby when i go jb pump petrol. how? any advices.
I understand how you are feeling. When u are handling baby and she wants to take over. Let her know nicely that u can handle it. I think that one wayto stop her from taking baby over. Having baby slp in her room , is hard esp if door are closed and since is your mil and not your own mum,it is hard to go in and take baby back. So i would tell my hub that i want to soend time with baby and get him to bring babyout. Or sometime when mil bring baby to her room to feed,i will tell her that after baby had finish eating she can bring baby back to baby room or out to living room. Try to set clear boundary and grt ur hubby to convey it to his mum. Like no closing of doors if baby is in her room. Although sometime after awole the old folks probably wont care or rmb. Since mil is staying with u and u gonna need her help , do see what is it that u want to delegate to her. Like giving her feed baby once or twice a day and not totally cut her off. Like tt she get her share of interaction with her grandchild and maintain good relation btw u and her so that she can continue ti helpu. Honestly baby slpping in her room im not too comfortable with thatidea esp with close door. If baby cosleep on her bed, i would just let my hub know is dangerous cos we wouldnt know what is the slpping pattern of mil (like keep turning ) if fil is there too all the higher the risk of infant death when cosleep. So that at least hub is on your side and knows the reason why u dont eant baby slo in their room. Cos hub sometime maynot find anything wrong with all this. Try set some routine. Like after 8pm u can bring baby to your room and settle him to slp. Close your room door. Mymil help baby bath since confinement. Sometime she is like 手脚快我一步，while we now do the bathing tgt, she will just carrybaby to bathtub even when im there and involved. Try to tell her first that i will bathe baby. So that u will ne the one to carry and bathe the baby. And she can help out with like wesring of clothes, etc getting ready towel to carry baby from toilet to room for dressing up I know is hard but jiayou. I am having this issue as well. Just manage the relationship tackfully so that when u need her help she is there.Read more
I’ll talk to my husband about how I feel n tell him of my intention to just keep my baby in my room with me n lock the door to deny his mother access to my baby 😂 after not being able to get to my baby for a few times, I hope the old lady will get my hint n get sian from trying n bugger off! With that being said, if you do until so obvious, you should mentally prepare to give up asking her for help with your baby when you go pump petrol! Of course, it depends on the frequency you need to pump Petrol, but I wouldn’t be held hostage n endure unhappiness for so many days just for a few days of help!Read more
There are some things you can tolerate and not. Give your mil control for those you can close one eye. Those which you really can’t, be firm and tell her honestly. she might not take it very well but at least you get it out there. Try to say like “I appreciate that you... but it would help if you....). Hope this helpsRead more
Let your husband be the bad guy and tell her she needs to stop taking your daughter to sleep in her room. Words coming from their son is different from us DILs, so unless you want to risk your husband being sandwiched between you both, never directly reveal your unhappiness. You can lock you door and deny access.Read more
Talk to her. Don't let it escalate into an argument or verbal abuse. You will lose the trust of ur partner and in-laws. Then there will always be an unsettling aura whenever u are near ur in-laws. Then everything u do will be too little too late in the eyes of ur partner. That's what happen to me.
Maybe sit down with your husband to discuss the issue at hand and try to find solutions with him. He can help negotiate an alternative to your mil. You also need to put boundaries in place for your mil to know when not to step into the picture
Talk to your husband When ever thing I don't like I will tell my husband but back to square he will ask me to talk to his mum about I don't like.
I think your MIL also cares and wants to dote on your little one. So talk it through. Both are coming from a position of love lah
Talk to ur hubby. Will be better to let ur hubby talk to her
You can have a talk with your husband and he can convey