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Alvin Lim, Singapore

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About Alvin Lim

Father of 2 little opera singers

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Should I have stopped my MIL from stopping my daughter from climbing the window grill?

Background: Since the virus started, my wife, my maid and my 2 daughters (19mo and 3mo) have been staying with in-laws. My relationship with my in-laws is not very good. Not bad but just not good. Yesterday I was at my in-laws place to visit my wife and kids. In-laws house has dad, mum, sis and sis's son(4yo) Incident: My daughter was climbing the window grill, don't know why. Maybe to look at the cat downstairs. Then my MIL took a cane and started smacking her gently, asking her to come down. I did nothing but I really wanted to tell MIL to stop. Throughout the incident, I have been beside my daughter. If she were to lose strength and fall, I will be there to catch her. After incident: My wife approached me saying that I did not take care what happen to our children because I did not do anything to stop my daughter from doing something dangerous. She told me that she hate me and very tired because I'm always making her angry/worry. I did not say anything. I know she has been very tired and weary. I can see the tiredness in her eyes. I told her that I was just beside and will be there if kid were to fall. She rebutted with, "What would happen if nobody was here to take care of her?" Which I answered, "Why would she be alone on the window grill in the first place?" My wife just walked away angrily. My thoughts: When MIL started smacking my daughter's butt with the cane, I really wanted to snap at her. She couldn't even control that 4yo. What right does she have to teach my daughter anything. When my wife approached me, I thought to myself; I was there protecting my daughter, how can you say that I am not taking care of her? I don't want to stress my wife more than what I already have, by not getting along with her family. But sometimes, somethings just can't be tolerated anymore. Ranting, I just want someone to talk to regarding my feelings. I feel like everytime I want to talk to my wife, she will be too tired to listen and understand what I want to put across. Maybe I am just overly sensitive? *sigh* I'm doing my best (in my own way) to keep this marriage. I'm sure my wife is too. In-laws..... Am i right?

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